Annoying things parents do with their children
Discussion
Disastrous said:
Such a weird, mean-spirited thread.
Some thoughts from a non-parent, (or 'non-breeder' if you're hugely immature):
1). Biologically speaking, the point of us is to have kids. Those of us who haven't are the exception and the 'odd ones out'.
2). I would imagine that new parents, especially first timers, are immersed in a slightly scary world and are all-consumed by it. I know I would be terrified of getting it wrong somehow and would probably think of not much else until I thought I had a handle on it.
3). I'm not mad for babies/baby photos/showing them round the office but I get it's probably the biggest thing to happen in those people's lives so understand their enthusiasm. It's not hard to ignore.
4). I accept that a lot of my friends now come avec babies. I'd rather I still got to see them socially so happy to accept that means kids coming to 'adult' functions. I also think it's good to get kids used to adult company. It's normal in places like Italy for all generations to socialise together and I think it leads to healthier family units. I think it's a bit bizarre to expect parents to bar themselves from any form of social life as soon as they have kids.
My suggestion is that you get home to your quiet, tidy home and enjoy the life of tranquility you have chosen. Unfortunately, given that you inhabit a world where our primary function is to reproduce, you might as well get used to the fact that babies will be an ever-present constant in life, like death, taxes and work.
very well put. Some thoughts from a non-parent, (or 'non-breeder' if you're hugely immature):
1). Biologically speaking, the point of us is to have kids. Those of us who haven't are the exception and the 'odd ones out'.
2). I would imagine that new parents, especially first timers, are immersed in a slightly scary world and are all-consumed by it. I know I would be terrified of getting it wrong somehow and would probably think of not much else until I thought I had a handle on it.
3). I'm not mad for babies/baby photos/showing them round the office but I get it's probably the biggest thing to happen in those people's lives so understand their enthusiasm. It's not hard to ignore.
4). I accept that a lot of my friends now come avec babies. I'd rather I still got to see them socially so happy to accept that means kids coming to 'adult' functions. I also think it's good to get kids used to adult company. It's normal in places like Italy for all generations to socialise together and I think it leads to healthier family units. I think it's a bit bizarre to expect parents to bar themselves from any form of social life as soon as they have kids.
My suggestion is that you get home to your quiet, tidy home and enjoy the life of tranquility you have chosen. Unfortunately, given that you inhabit a world where our primary function is to reproduce, you might as well get used to the fact that babies will be an ever-present constant in life, like death, taxes and work.
Disastrous said:
4). I accept that a lot of my friends now come avec babies. I'd rather I still got to see them socially so happy to accept that means kids coming to 'adult' functions. I also think it's good to get kids used to adult company. It's normal in places like Italy for all generations to socialise together and I think it leads to healthier family units. I think it's a bit bizarre to expect parents to bar themselves from any form of social life as soon as they have kids.
I have absolutely zero issue with this; as long as the kids are well behaved.We went to Sardinia last year and noticed how Italian kids of all ages were out with their parents until quite late at night, in the restaurants, out for a walk etc. Without exception all the children were well behaved and the parents were mindful of people without children and kept their own children in line, I welcome that attitude.
However over here there is more of a me, me, f
k you attitude to kids being out late in a restaurant or even out in a restaurant at any time, people let their kids run riot, they make a mess and they are not kept in line and if anyone mentions this you get the usual fk you response.My two ate out with us from an early age, my soon to be 24m old grandson eats out with us and his parents, my 93 year old Grandma always comments on how well behaved he is in a restaurant and how badly behaved my sisters kids are and how she only takes them to the Harvester as a) they only eat that sort of food and b) the local Italian that we are in isn't suitable for kids that play up.
I actually enjoy seeing well behaved kids out and experiencing different things, eating different food etc.
Disastrous said:
.......
4). I accept that a lot of my friends now come avec babies. I'd rather I still got to see them socially so happy to accept that means kids coming to 'adult' functions. I also think it's good to get kids used to adult company. It's normal in places like Italy for all generations to socialise together and I think it leads to healthier family units. I think it's a bit bizarre to expect parents to bar themselves from any form of social life as soon as they have kids.
My suggestion is that you get home to your quiet, tidy home and enjoy the life of tranquility you have chosen. Unfortunately, given that you inhabit a world where our primary function is to reproduce, you might as well get used to the fact that babies will be an ever-present constant in life, like death, taxes and work.
That strikes me as 'binary' thinking, all or nothing (almost the norm currently). And that reflects the OP's issue, the lack of consideration, flexibilty, a take it or leave it attitude.4). I accept that a lot of my friends now come avec babies. I'd rather I still got to see them socially so happy to accept that means kids coming to 'adult' functions. I also think it's good to get kids used to adult company. It's normal in places like Italy for all generations to socialise together and I think it leads to healthier family units. I think it's a bit bizarre to expect parents to bar themselves from any form of social life as soon as they have kids.
My suggestion is that you get home to your quiet, tidy home and enjoy the life of tranquility you have chosen. Unfortunately, given that you inhabit a world where our primary function is to reproduce, you might as well get used to the fact that babies will be an ever-present constant in life, like death, taxes and work.
No one expects parents to never go out, or never to see kids around. Of course not. But the big change it seems to me is that people generally expect their environment to adapt to whatever they want to do rather than adapt their behaviour to their environment and others in it. As a child I went to restaurants etc, but I was expected to behave accordingly. Not sit in silence, but not like I was in the school playground either. Learning to adpat to your surroundings is part of a good education imho.
But when did (not you) taking babies to pubs or restaurants become a good idea? Not only for the baby but the other customers? If they're screaming you might just have to wait until you get a child minder or when they're a little older. Oh, hang on, that might mean giving up something for something else.
Most people are more considerate about having kids around these days, but it's a two way thing.
Imho
Ari said:
Baby On Board stickers. Yeah, because I was just about to smash my car into yours when I saw the sticker - good job you put it there!
If you ask people why they display them you get this ridiculous urban myth about a baby that got thrown out of a car in a crash and the emergency services apparently saw the sticker and searched for the baby and found it unharmed in a bush or some such (where presumably it was being completely silent).
If you then ask them how a baby strapped into a car seat could possibly exit the car you get a mumbled 'could happen', and when you ask them whether they (and everyone else with one) removes the sticker when motoring childless you get some crap about 'well it can't do any harm'.
It's basically 'look at meeee, I'm so special, I have a child!'
FFS.
....and then there's "Little Princess On Board." Better still! If you ask people why they display them you get this ridiculous urban myth about a baby that got thrown out of a car in a crash and the emergency services apparently saw the sticker and searched for the baby and found it unharmed in a bush or some such (where presumably it was being completely silent).
If you then ask them how a baby strapped into a car seat could possibly exit the car you get a mumbled 'could happen', and when you ask them whether they (and everyone else with one) removes the sticker when motoring childless you get some crap about 'well it can't do any harm'.
It's basically 'look at meeee, I'm so special, I have a child!'
FFS.
Sticks. said:
Disastrous said:
.......
4). I accept that a lot of my friends now come avec babies. I'd rather I still got to see them socially so happy to accept that means kids coming to 'adult' functions. I also think it's good to get kids used to adult company. It's normal in places like Italy for all generations to socialise together and I think it leads to healthier family units. I think it's a bit bizarre to expect parents to bar themselves from any form of social life as soon as they have kids.
My suggestion is that you get home to your quiet, tidy home and enjoy the life of tranquility you have chosen. Unfortunately, given that you inhabit a world where our primary function is to reproduce, you might as well get used to the fact that babies will be an ever-present constant in life, like death, taxes and work.
That strikes me as 'binary' thinking, all or nothing (almost the norm currently). And that reflects the OP's issue, the lack of consideration, flexibilty, a take it or leave it attitude.4). I accept that a lot of my friends now come avec babies. I'd rather I still got to see them socially so happy to accept that means kids coming to 'adult' functions. I also think it's good to get kids used to adult company. It's normal in places like Italy for all generations to socialise together and I think it leads to healthier family units. I think it's a bit bizarre to expect parents to bar themselves from any form of social life as soon as they have kids.
My suggestion is that you get home to your quiet, tidy home and enjoy the life of tranquility you have chosen. Unfortunately, given that you inhabit a world where our primary function is to reproduce, you might as well get used to the fact that babies will be an ever-present constant in life, like death, taxes and work.
No one expects parents to never go out, or never to see kids around. Of course not. But the big change it seems to me is that people generally expect their environment to adapt to whatever they want to do rather than adapt their behaviour to their environment and others in it. As a child I went to restaurants etc, but I was expected to behave accordingly. Not sit in silence, but not like I was in the school playground either. Learning to adpat to your surroundings is part of a good education imho.
But when did (not you) taking babies to pubs or restaurants become a good idea? Not only for the baby but the other customers? If they're screaming you might just have to wait until you get a child minder or when they're a little older. Oh, hang on, that might mean giving up something for something else.
Most people are more considerate about having kids around these days, but it's a two way thing.
Imho
I just felt the OP and many of the subsequent posts had a very mean-spirited, divisive nature that marginalises 'us' from 'the breeders' regardless of their kids' behaviour. Almost as if having kids is something to be sneered at when of course it isn't at all.
I'm all for a bit of give and take and attempting not to impinge on others, but the reality is having kids is the 'normal' course, so it's not unreasonable to expect those who choose a life without kids to be a bit more accommodating towards those who do IMO.
HTP99 said:
I have absolutely zero issue with this; as long as the kids are well behaved.
We went to Sardinia last year and noticed how Italian kids of all ages were out with their parents until quite late at night, in the restaurants, out for a walk etc. Without exception all the children were well behaved and the parents were mindful of people without children and kept their own children in line, I welcome that attitude.
However over here there is more of a me, me, fk you attitude to kids being out late in a restaurant or even out in a restaurant at any time, people let their kids run riot, they make a mess and they are not kept in line and if anyone mentions this you get the usual fk you response.
My two ate out with us from an early age, my soon to be 24m old grandson eats out with us and his parents, my 93 year old Grandma always comments on how well behaved he is in a restaurant and how badly behaved my sisters kids are and how she only takes them to the Harvester as a) they only eat that sort of food and b) the local Italian that we are in isn't suitable for kids that play up.
I actually enjoy seeing well behaved kids out and experiencing different things, eating different food etc.
Afraid you can't just import the nice bits of other cultures though can you. You hear this about French kids all the time too... suspiciously so in fact.We went to Sardinia last year and noticed how Italian kids of all ages were out with their parents until quite late at night, in the restaurants, out for a walk etc. Without exception all the children were well behaved and the parents were mindful of people without children and kept their own children in line, I welcome that attitude.
However over here there is more of a me, me, f
k you attitude to kids being out late in a restaurant or even out in a restaurant at any time, people let their kids run riot, they make a mess and they are not kept in line and if anyone mentions this you get the usual fk you response.My two ate out with us from an early age, my soon to be 24m old grandson eats out with us and his parents, my 93 year old Grandma always comments on how well behaved he is in a restaurant and how badly behaved my sisters kids are and how she only takes them to the Harvester as a) they only eat that sort of food and b) the local Italian that we are in isn't suitable for kids that play up.
I actually enjoy seeing well behaved kids out and experiencing different things, eating different food etc.
Reality is these cultures also have loooong family meals, later at night, when at home so doing so in a restaurant is not a departure from the childs routine. It's the norm. It works.
We tend to have shorter earlier meals here. So no wonder it doesn't really work when we try to 'adopt' these european traits.
Of course when spending time in Europe (i love Sardinia too!) I also witness a tendency to wetnurse children well beyond the age we do here. 7 year olds being treated like toddlers etc. I've witnessed walking and talking aged Italian kids acting like utter babies on my travels...
British kids gain independence far earlier it would seem and are well equipped for the realities of adult life.
Not saying one is better than another but we Brits do seem ready to kick each other in the nuts quite quickly and not recognise what we do well.
Disastrous said:
I'm all for a bit of give and take and attempting not to impinge on others, but the reality is having kids is the 'normal' course, so it's not unreasonable to expect those who choose a life without kids to be a bit more accommodating towards those who do IMO.
sorry don't agree with that, i have step kids, and nieces and nephews, but i wouldn't expect someone else to accommodate my kids, they were my choice, not theirs.am i expected to accept kids jumping on the train seats with dirty shoes on? so my clothes get messed up when they are told not to jump on all the seats. apparently so according to one teen mum who i and others asked to keep her kids under control on the train. i don't think i should have to accommodate that just because they are kids. she was on her phone.
she also got annoyed that they kids lost their 'playground' when others sat on the train. well that's because it's 6pm love and people are coming home from work, are tired and want a seat, preferably without a 2 year old with a juice box dripping on them (a young lady complained at this)
jesta1865 said:
Disastrous said:
I'm all for a bit of give and take and attempting not to impinge on others, but the reality is having kids is the 'normal' course, so it's not unreasonable to expect those who choose a life without kids to be a bit more accommodating towards those who do IMO.
sorry don't agree with that, i have step kids, and nieces and nephews, but i wouldn't expect someone else to accommodate my kids, they were my choice, not theirs.am i expected to accept kids jumping on the train seats with dirty shoes on? so my clothes get messed up when they are told not to jump on all the seats. apparently so according to one teen mum who i and others asked to keep her kids under control on the train. i don't think i should have to accommodate that just because they are kids. she was on her phone.
she also got annoyed that they kids lost their 'playground' when others sat on the train. well that's because it's 6pm love and people are coming home from work, are tired and want a seat, preferably without a 2 year old with a juice box dripping on them (a young lady complained at this)
I don't condone kids jumping on seats or any of that sort of nonsense.
DoubleSix said:
Not saying one is better than another but we Brits do seem ready to kick each other in the nuts quite quickly and not recognise what we do well.
I was enjoying a quayside meal on a greek island a few years ago, thinking how nice it is to see the kids (local, possibly tourists) running around playing nicely, then one of them decides to try piss on his mate, chasing him up the beach at the same time. We noticed then that these kids were being absolute terrors with no apparent intervention from any adults. Of course it's not all Brit kids who are wildly out of control. In fact I've known plenty of Spanish children who grew up being the most spoilt and immature little buggers ever. We just do things slightly differently.My pet gripe though, as a parent, is kids parties. It's bad enough having to to go to some "Wacky Charlie's" soft play warehouse, but please offer the parent at least a cup of tea or a biscuit in return, yet nothing is ever offered to the parents. You feel like some sort of tramp sneaking a cheese sandwich off your child's plate. Adn it sickens me who much gets binned without us poor dads being even offered a bit.
prand said:
My pet gripe though, as a parent, is kids parties. It's bad enough having to to go to some "Wacky Charlie's" soft play warehouse, but please offer the parent at least a cup of tea or a biscuit in return, yet nothing is ever offered to the parents. You feel like some sort of tramp sneaking a cheese sandwich off your child's plate. Adn it sickens me who much gets binned without us poor dads being even offered a bit.
So true! Loudly announce "But it tastes good, look Daddy is eating it" tends to work wonders. There is a confused look on kid's face as they are more than happy to eat the chips, nuggets etc :-)XB70 said:
So true! Loudly announce "But it tastes good, look Daddy is eating it" tends to work wonders. There is a confused look on kid's face as they are more than happy to eat the chips, nuggets etc :-)
An excellent strategy. I will be trying this out this weekend. (I have 3 to go to when there are about 10 rugby matches I could be happily watching instead)crofty1984 said:
Seems like the issue isn't so much kids as bad parents.
No-one's in the badly parked cars thread going "I hate cars!" and completely ignoring the drivers that have responsibility for them.
You could be on to something here. No-one's in the badly parked cars thread going "I hate cars!" and completely ignoring the drivers that have responsibility for them.
They should have called the thread
Annoying things parents do with their children
Oh, wait...
Disastrous said:
You're misunderstanding me, I think. I said kids should be made to behave properly in adult environments. Equally, adults should then not sneer at 'breeders' and accommodate the fact that they will be exposed to children in everyday life.
I don't condone kids jumping on seats or any of that sort of nonsense.
I don't like children and will never, ever have any. I complain and moan bitterly about badly behaved children. But still, the "breeders" thing really grates with me. It reminds of militant feminism somehow. Live and let live...although it doesn't always feel like it, "most" children are very well behaved and can be taken out for meals etc with no issues at all...it's just we tend not to notice these because they are, umm, so well behaved.I don't condone kids jumping on seats or any of that sort of nonsense.
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