Should I Shun My Mates Wedding? Would You?
Discussion
Leptons said:
Some good Responses, couple of points;
1) Definately invited to the night do, he's told me the time and the date and keeps saying the paper invites are at home and they '"forgot" to send some out. Did get an Invite through Facebook would you believe. How classy.
2) Can't do the whole stand up thing as I won't be there
3) We have tried telling him but he's doing the whole not listening to things he doesn't want to hear routine.
So you're not actually invited to the wedding? 1) Definately invited to the night do, he's told me the time and the date and keeps saying the paper invites are at home and they '"forgot" to send some out. Did get an Invite through Facebook would you believe. How classy.
2) Can't do the whole stand up thing as I won't be there
3) We have tried telling him but he's doing the whole not listening to things he doesn't want to hear routine.
I find the thing about inviting more people later a bit weird to be honest, you're better off inviting them to the actual ceremony because it doesnt cost anything and you dont have to feed them.
Anyway, you're not his mate as much as he is yours, I'd probably ease off on the announcements and sticking of noses into stuff
andy-xr said:
So you're not actually invited to the wedding?
I find the thing about inviting more people later a bit weird to be honest, you're better off inviting them to the actual ceremony because it doesnt cost anything and you dont have to feed them.
Anyway, you're not his mate as much as he is yours, I'd probably ease off on the announcements and sticking of noses into stuff
It's at a hotel so I'm guessing it goes ceremony, photos, sit down meal, speaches, night do. We're invited to the night do. Anyway it's a mute point.I find the thing about inviting more people later a bit weird to be honest, you're better off inviting them to the actual ceremony because it doesnt cost anything and you dont have to feed them.
Anyway, you're not his mate as much as he is yours, I'd probably ease off on the announcements and sticking of noses into stuff
I don't really understand the rest of your post. No ones making any announcements.
HTP99 said:
austinsmirk said:
I knew of a women who on her wedding day snuck off on said day to have a secret shag with someone
The wife's very close friend; at the time, wanted to back out of her wedding on the actual day as she had been shagging the groom's half brother; whom the groom hated (he didn't know she was shagging him), for the past few years and had decided then and there that actually she didn't want to get married to the groom, even though they had been together for over ten years already. They married and split within 9 months.
Someone I worked with was having an affair with someone else in the office, and seemed to delight in telling me and to keep it secret. She was getting married in a month.
Owing her nothing and morality being fairly strong in me, I told her other half. He was shocked, but not as much as me when the wedding still went on, abroad, at great cost to the family and who guests who had to pay for flights and hotel.
A week after the marriage he kicked her out and she now lives with the office bloke she's having an affair with. He moved back up north and is by all accounts very happy. She's lost most of her friends and her family don't seem to be on speaking terms either. I've no idea about the assets.
Maybe he wants to stop it but doesn't know how to handle the consequences - but they'll be far worse if does nothing now.
Owing her nothing and morality being fairly strong in me, I told her other half. He was shocked, but not as much as me when the wedding still went on, abroad, at great cost to the family and who guests who had to pay for flights and hotel.
A week after the marriage he kicked her out and she now lives with the office bloke she's having an affair with. He moved back up north and is by all accounts very happy. She's lost most of her friends and her family don't seem to be on speaking terms either. I've no idea about the assets.
Maybe he wants to stop it but doesn't know how to handle the consequences - but they'll be far worse if does nothing now.
If it's only an invite to the evening do then I wouldn't say it's as big an issue not to go along.
If your mate hasn't got the b
ks to insist on inviting his close friends along to the ceremony then he sure as st isn't going to challenge his fiancé about playing hide the sausage with another(many) bloke(s).
From the sounds of it if the bride/village bicycle has already deleted you on Facebook you'll never see your mate again anyway as she'll throw a wobbly if he says he's meeting up with you.
I would suggest printing an image of your mate out, putting it on a paper plate or similar and getting pissed up elsewhere instead of the wedding reception, replete with many photos of 'paper-plate mate' having a great time.
Then;
1. Take the nuclear option and plaster them all over Facebook inducing fire breathing wife mode
2. Save them for when the whole thing goes to st and he needs your support, show him them for a laugh then. 'This is why we weren't at the wedding'
Either way it's a st position to be in for you, and more specifically your friend. Hopefully he'll come to his senses.
If your mate hasn't got the b
ks to insist on inviting his close friends along to the ceremony then he sure as st isn't going to challenge his fiancé about playing hide the sausage with another(many) bloke(s).From the sounds of it if the bride/village bicycle has already deleted you on Facebook you'll never see your mate again anyway as she'll throw a wobbly if he says he's meeting up with you.
I would suggest printing an image of your mate out, putting it on a paper plate or similar and getting pissed up elsewhere instead of the wedding reception, replete with many photos of 'paper-plate mate' having a great time.
Then;
1. Take the nuclear option and plaster them all over Facebook inducing fire breathing wife mode
2. Save them for when the whole thing goes to s
t and he needs your support, show him them for a laugh then. 'This is why we weren't at the wedding'Either way it's a s
t position to be in for you, and more specifically your friend. Hopefully he'll come to his senses.Leptons said:
On Saturday my mate who I've known 15-20 years will marry his darling Fiancé. About two months ago I found out from A close friend that Darling fiancé had been having an affair!
So having Sat the poor lad down we told him what we knew and the next day he confronted her, low and behold it's all true e.t.c.
They have a young child together
If I was him, knowing her history I'd at least insist on a DNA test before going near a church.So having Sat the poor lad down we told him what we knew and the next day he confronted her, low and behold it's all true e.t.c.
They have a young child together
OP, go to wedding. Get the bride steaming drunk. Offer her a pulled pork sandwich in the bogs. Do the deed, film it, head out of the bogs to the reception and stop the party for a special speech.
Run the footage and show everyone. They will be pleased that you have outed the skank and your friend will be very happy.
Run the footage and show everyone. They will be pleased that you have outed the skank and your friend will be very happy.
I would have thought the best thing you could do was counsel your mate to put off the wedding for the time being. Surely anybody can see that is reasonable behaviour, and it might not terrify your mate as much as cancelling the whole thing - as already said he may feel like he's on a runaway train that he can't get off. I don't think any reasonable person could see it as not being justified under the circumstances. If they have wedding insurance costs can be recouped.
The worst possible thing he could do is rush into getting married knowing she is a serial cheat with a possible question mark over his child's parentage.
The worst possible thing he could do is rush into getting married knowing she is a serial cheat with a possible question mark over his child's parentage.
Soov535 said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
This. Your mate is putting the child first and fair play to him.Man up and go. He needs you.
I think OP is correct; his mate is just burying his head in the sand because he's loved up and thinks she'll change.
Thinks she'll change.
ETA: if he wasn't being a wet blanket then how come he's let her entire family attend the wedding and he only gets to invite 3 mates?
Edited by Centurion07 on Tuesday 1st September 11:49
andy-xr said:
Leptons said:
Some good Responses, couple of points;
1) Definately invited to the night do, he's told me the time and the date and keeps saying the paper invites are at home and they '"forgot" to send some out. Did get an Invite through Facebook would you believe. How classy.
2) Can't do the whole stand up thing as I won't be there
3) We have tried telling him but he's doing the whole not listening to things he doesn't want to hear routine.
So you're not actually invited to the wedding? 1) Definately invited to the night do, he's told me the time and the date and keeps saying the paper invites are at home and they '"forgot" to send some out. Did get an Invite through Facebook would you believe. How classy.
2) Can't do the whole stand up thing as I won't be there
3) We have tried telling him but he's doing the whole not listening to things he doesn't want to hear routine.
I find the thing about inviting more people later a bit weird to be honest, you're better off inviting them to the actual ceremony because it doesnt cost anything and you dont have to feed them.
Anyway, you're not his mate as much as he is yours, I'd probably ease off on the announcements and sticking of noses into stuff
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