Should I Shun My Mates Wedding? Would You?

[Leptons]

On Saturday my mate who I've known 15-20 years will marry his darling Fiancé. About two months ago I found out from A close friend that Darling fiancé had been having an affair!

I confided in the best man (one of my oldest friends) and to cut a long story short he told me it's not the first time! Apparently three or four months ago DF got drunk at the pub she works at and slept with one of the regulars. She had come clean on this occasion and they were trying to 'patch things up'.

So having Sat the poor lad down we told him what we knew and the next day he confronted her, low and behold it's all true e.t.c.

We've tried telling him he's nuts and needs to call it off but he seems intent on trying to patch things up (They have a young child together). I believe he's just burying his head in the sand and doesn't want to face facts.

To make things worse only two or three of his mates have been invited to the wedding because her family is so big there is no room for any of his side! So having spent upwards of £300 going on the stag do we're only invited to the night do. I haven't even received my invite in the post and I'm not the only one.

Oh, and it appears DF has deleted me off Facebook. To say the whole thing leaves a sour taste in my mouth would be an understatement.

Edited by Leptons on Monday 31st August 09:38

[rb5er]

Leave them to it. Weddings are st anyway.

[Wacky Racer]

I hate facebook, but Mrs WR says:-

Whilst she has you as a friend on FB, you can "keep an eye on what she is up to"

[HarryW]

So you haven't been invited yet, but are pondering whether to shun it?

Forget it, it's their life.

[madzo14]

No doubt she'll probably cheat on him again & again knowing he will forgive her.

For her to have everyone she wants at the wedding and no one from your mates side shes a bit of a bh to be honest, obviously she wears the trousers in that relationship.

[HTP99]

I wouldn't go, as for your mate who is getting married; some people just won't/can't accept what is going on, it will end in tears and they will be split up within the year.

She sounds like a horrible self centred piece of work.

[Jim the Sunderer]

That's a level 5 cuckold right there.

I wouldn't go out of embarrassment.

[Centurion07]

You should go.

You know that bit where the vicar says "if anyone knows any lawful reason...."?

Your mate is about to have his life flushed down the toilet! She's cheated on him (more than once), she's controlling enough to have taken over the wedding to the point he is only allowed to invite three friends and he's about to sign over half of everything he owns!!

You need to get a few more mates together that are in the know and sit him down and tell him the cold hard truth until he takes notice.

[R8Steve]

Are you sure you are even invited to go at all? It sounds like she may have conveniently 'forgot' to invite you unfortunately.

Have you spoken to your mate about it?

[phil-sti]

You should go because he is your mate.

When it all falls down around his ears you will be there to pick him up as you are mates.

I always thought that's what mates were for?

[kiseca]

If he's your mate, support him even when he makes bad decisions. You probably won't get the invite anyway if the girl is trying to remove all opposing influences from his life so she and her 200 strong family can take full control.

[m8rky]

Attend the wedding, get as many mates as you can to gatecrash the reception (preferably pissed up) tell all her family at every opportunity what an old slapper she is, reception descends in to mass brawl. Job done.

[bearman68]

m8rky said:

Attend the wedding, get as many mates as you can to gatecrash the reception (preferably pissed up) tell all her family at every opportunity what an old slapper she is, reception descends in to mass brawl. Job done.

Can I come????

[Leptons]

Some good Responses, couple of points;

1) Definately invited to the night do, he's told me the time and the date and keeps saying the paper invites are at home and they '"forgot" to send some out. Did get an Invite through Facebook would you believe. How classy.

2) Can't do the whole stand up thing as I won't be there

3) We have tried telling him but he's doing the whole not listening to things he doesn't want to hear routine.

[SimesJH]

I feel sorry for their poor child. Your heart has got to go out to the little'un amidst all this.

That aside, I think the right thing is to go to the reception in support of your friend as he clearly wants you to be there.

And be there for him and his son / daughter when / if they do split, as I'm sure you will.

[R8Steve]

Leptons said:

Some good Responses, couple of points;

1) Definately invited to the night do, he's told me the time and the date and keeps saying the paper invites are at home and they '"forgot" to send some out. Did get an Invite through Facebook would you believe. How classy.

2) Can't do the whole stand up thing as I won't be there

3) We have tried telling him but he's doing the whole not listening to things he doesn't want to hear routine.

In that case go. Your mate will appreciate it and she will hate it. A win win really given the circumstances.

[0000]

It's his choice to marry her, not yours, as bad an idea as it sounds. Just whether you want to support him or not.

[davepoth]

Unfortunately "She's been shagging around" isn't a lawful reason to run into the church for the "forever hold your peace" bit.

Not turning up will probably cause ructions (especially with her). I think you're right to assume it'll all go wrong pretty quickly, and he'll need a friend to depend on through that. If she bans him from seeing you (and she sounds like the type) he won't have many people to lean on.

[matsoc]

I wouldn't go probably, wedding parties are generally boring and too long and I have endured too many.
It really has to do with the kind of friendship you have with your mate, how it is important your presence for him.

[Vincefox]

Don't go.