Meaningless company slogans

[EV11NED]

davhill said:

I can't recall which clothing company's lorry had this line on it but it made me smile...

"Does my chassis look big in this?"

T K Maxx, made me smile when I first saw it.

[vikingaero]

RobinBanks said:

I wonder if it's to do with the customer?
As in buying toilet roll in such bulk would most likely be for a commercial premises.

I remember going around a friend of a friends house to see a large Tork toilet roll holder on the wall and rolls and rolls of large Tork toilet rolls that he misappropriated from work!

[philthy]

Local haulage company: "Delivering Winners"

Which is a bit rich, as their junior management appear to be as organised as a tossed salad?

[5-Oh]

Hard-Drive said:

So who the hell is this product aimed at?

Regular toilet roll is pretty efficient at it's job. Professional toilet roll is designed to be so uncomfortable and useless that people simply avoid using the toilet at work. Twenty futile minutes spent smearing cak all over your backside followed by the rest of the day with a raw bum crack soaked in arse vinegar, you'll only do it once.

[ChemicalChaos]

I pass one of these on my way to work every day...



If that's the case, I'm glad I'm the nostalgic sort...

[Hackney]

SpeedMattersNot said:

Hooli said:

Johnnytheboy said:

I've seen many a school with a slogan like "excellence for all".

How can everyone excel?

By lowering standards till everyone gets A*s?

To be fair, I only had to take 9 GCSEs and there were far less distractions in my day. Average number of GCSEs taken at my wife's school is 13.2 with a big majority taking 15 GCSEs as well as other certificates that don't contribute to league tables and thus aren't included in that.

The lowest achieving children are still pushed and encouraged to obtain anything they can. If that's in hair dressing, brick laying or motor vehicle mechanics so be it...everyone should be able to excel.

• average* is 13.2? Holy god, at my school *the most* you could take was 8. EIGHT.

I was in the first school year to take GCSEs but even so....

[Johnnytheboy]

Hackney said:

SpeedMattersNot said:

Hooli said:

Johnnytheboy said:

I've seen many a school with a slogan like "excellence for all".

How can everyone excel?

By lowering standards till everyone gets A*s?

To be fair, I only had to take 9 GCSEs and there were far less distractions in my day. Average number of GCSEs taken at my wife's school is 13.2 with a big majority taking 15 GCSEs as well as other certificates that don't contribute to league tables and thus aren't included in that.

The lowest achieving children are still pushed and encouraged to obtain anything they can. If that's in hair dressing, brick laying or motor vehicle mechanics so be it...everyone should be able to excel.

• average* is 13.2? Holy god, at my school *the most* you could take was 8. EIGHT.

I was in the first school year to take GCSEs but even so....

No, it's great. If everyone take more GCSE's, more people will go to university and - somehow - there will be more degree level jobs for them when they come out.

So more GCSE's for all I say!

[anonymous-user]

TIBCO THE POWER OF NOW always makes me wonder. What the hell does it mean?.

[RobinBanks]

vikingaero said:

I remember going around a friend of a friends house to see a large Tork toilet roll holder on the wall and rolls and rolls of large Tork toilet rolls that he misappropriated from work!

I used to see the same at university

I'm pretty sure that half the people I know never bought toilet roll. I also had a friend who was skint so he did a poo while at a house viewing to avoid buying toilet paper

[schmunk]

The Crack Fox said:

A local one from me - "Melton Mowbray, the rural capital of food."

Food isn't a place, is it? This makes no sense. Better would have been "Melton Mowbray, where Stilton comes from".

And pork pies. Don't forget the pork pies.

[AstonZagato]

Hackney said:

SpeedMattersNot said:

Hooli said:

Johnnytheboy said:

I've seen many a school with a slogan like "excellence for all".

How can everyone excel?

By lowering standards till everyone gets A*s?

To be fair, I only had to take 9 GCSEs and there were far less distractions in my day. Average number of GCSEs taken at my wife's school is 13.2 with a big majority taking 15 GCSEs as well as other certificates that don't contribute to league tables and thus aren't included in that.

The lowest achieving children are still pushed and encouraged to obtain anything they can. If that's in hair dressing, brick laying or motor vehicle mechanics so be it...everyone should be able to excel.

• average* is 13.2? Holy god, at my school *the most* you could take was 8. EIGHT.

I was in the first school year to take GCSEs but even so....

I work with a chap who has double digit numbers of A levels (and the first number isn't even a 1).

[DervVW]

RobinBanks said:

Birmingham City Council

"We don't fking care mate!"

At least that's what I assume it is.

You maybe mean "Thats not this department, you should ring another department. We don't deal with that"
NO matter who you ring.

[Adenauer]

Claas Farm Machinery.

Respect The Kraut.

[hidetheelephants]

The Crack Fox said:

A local one from me - "Melton Mowbray, the rural capital of food."

Food isn't a place, is it? This makes no sense. Better would have been "Melton Mowbray, where Stilton comes from".

In proper corporatespeak it should be 'Melton Mowbray; the Stilton of pork pies', conveying information but not in a useful form.

[hairyben]

sat eating lunch the other day I couldn't help but comment on the restaurant over the road: "zizzi - individually italian"

No particular beef with them but they're about as far from individual as it gets, given one parent company owns most of those italian chains you probably had a choice of about 30 derivatively styled sister restaurants just in the town I was in.

[SpeedMattersNot]

hairyben said:

sat eating lunch the other day I couldn't help but comment on the restaurant over the road: "zizzi - individually italian"

No particular beef with them but they're about as far from individual as it gets, given one parent company owns most of those italian chains you probably had a choice of about 30 derivatively styled sister restaurants just in the town I was in.

Brilliant.

[Einion Yrth]

SpeedMattersNot said:

hairyben said:

sat eating lunch the other day I couldn't help but comment on the restaurant over the road: "zizzi - individually italian"

No particular beef with them but they're about as far from individual as it gets, given one parent company owns most of those italian chains you probably had a choice of about 30 derivatively styled sister restaurants just in the town I was in.

Brilliant.

People of an analytical bent really are crap at brand loyalty.

[RobinBanks]

DervVW said:

RobinBanks said:

Birmingham City Council

"We don't fking care mate!"

At least that's what I assume it is.

You maybe mean "Thats not this department, you should ring another department. We don't deal with that"
NO matter who you ring.

Exactly.
"You should be talking to another department about that."
"Right...could you tell me which one?"
"How would I know?"
"Right, thanks."

And then you phone someone else who tells you to go to the one you started at. They then tell you to phone someone else.

[Spice_Weasel]

Between 1997 and 2004 I worked for Unisys, the US IT services firm. At some point during my tenure the company slogan was 'We eat, sleep and drink this stuff'. There was even a company song, an appalling R&B-style ditty with that title.

I think it was replaced with 'Imagine it. Done'. There was no song for that.

[DervVW]

RobinBanks said:

DervVW said:

RobinBanks said:

Birmingham City Council

"We don't fking care mate!"

At least that's what I assume it is.

You maybe mean "Thats not this department, you should ring another department. We don't deal with that"
NO matter who you ring.

Exactly.
"You should be talking to another department about that."
"Right...could you tell me which one?"
"How would I know?"
"Right, thanks."

And then you phone someone else who tells you to go to the one you started at. They then tell you to phone someone else.

Glad its not just me!

Anyway - this morning slightly O/T but a Krispy Creme van this morning "No doughnuts are left in this van overnight"