Marriage, How much is she worth?

[Impasse]

GetCarter said:

Ari said:

GetCarter said:

+1 LOTS of problems arise if you are not married. Even if you have a will. It was the only reason we got married. (The whole deal cost less than £70).

That's the entrance cost - what's the exit cost..?

Zero. If you have to ask....

Even bullets and hessian sacks cost something.

[BrabusMog]

Impasse said:

Marriage. What's in it for men?

Guaranteed shag every night and the dinner on the table when you get back from work? I hope so anyway, as at the moment my fiancé does the toast and everything else is up to me.

[OwenK]

BrabusMog said:

Guaranteed shag every night and the dinner on the table when you get back from work? I hope so anyway, as at the moment my fiancé does the toast and everything else is up to me.

That's the theory. The reality is far different!

[Ari]

GetCarter said:

Ari said:

GetCarter said:

+1 LOTS of problems arise if you are not married. Even if you have a will. It was the only reason we got married. (The whole deal cost less than £70).

That's the entrance cost - what's the exit cost..?

Zero. If you have to ask....

If you have to ask you can't afford it? In which case how can it be 'zero'?

[BrabusMog]

Ari said:

GetCarter said:

Ari said:

GetCarter said:

+1 LOTS of problems arise if you are not married. Even if you have a will. It was the only reason we got married. (The whole deal cost less than £70).

That's the entrance cost - what's the exit cost..?

Zero. If you have to ask....

If you have to ask you can't afford it? In which case how can it be 'zero'?

I fear this may be an elaborate rouse to whoosh someone but I'll answer. I presume the "if you have to ask..." means that you shouldn't be getting married if you're worried it could cost you money.

[Monkeylegend]

BrabusMog said:

Ari said:

GetCarter said:

Ari said:

GetCarter said:

+1 LOTS of problems arise if you are not married. Even if you have a will. It was the only reason we got married. (The whole deal cost less than £70).

That's the entrance cost - what's the exit cost..?

Zero. If you have to ask....

If you have to ask you can't afford it? In which case how can it be 'zero'?

I fear this may be an elaborate rouse to whoosh someone but I'll answer. I presume the "if you have to ask..." means that you shouldn't be getting married if you're worried it could cost you money.

Or if you still want that guaranteed shag every night

[0000]

julian64 said:

For a start if your wife pays you rent to stay in your house, she is a lodger, not a wife, and you have no business calling it a marriage.

If you are married to someone its because you have effectively allowed them to become a part of your life, the good bits and the bad bits, and than includes the bank account. If she divorces you one day after the marriage, she still owns half your wealth, and you own half of hers.

She might well get half of it if we divorce, but if my wife had access to my bank account I genuinely believe we'd be homeless at this point.

I earn something like 6x more than she does but live off less than she does. The money I don't spend goes towards the house so it's invested for both of us and our kids. She's been in full time employment earning more than the national average for most of the last 10-15 years we've been together, she's still in what was her student overdraft.

It works for us, how we structure our financial management doesn't affect the validity of our marriage certificate.

[ShyTallKnight]

MrTurtle said:

Thanks Ari.

Life's very dark ATM but fingers crossed for a reasonable outcome. Dreading another xmas in this pokey rented flat, hate it.

Marriage? Never again.

Just read it myself and my initial reaction was fk...!! Chin up fella been there although my ex didn't behave like a complete bh so I'm thankful for small mercies but things do get better.... If I can give you one bit of advice ok well two but a) go and talk to someone about it counselling helped me immeasurably and b) always put the needs of your kids first however badly your ex behaves....

[BrabusMog]

0000 said:

She might well get half of it if we divorce, but if my wife had access to my bank account I genuinely believe we'd be homeless at this point.

I earn something like 6x more than she does but live off less than she does. The money I don't spend goes towards the house so it's invested for both of us and our kids. She's been in full time employment earning more than the national average for most of the last 10-15 years we've been together, she's still in what was her student overdraft.

It works for us, how we structure our financial management doesn't affect the validity of our marriage certificate.

That's quite depressing to read. Does she just not give a st?

[0000]

She claims to, but nothing changes; money goes in, money goes out. Rarely on anything expensive, but the number of transactions on her bank statements is impressive.

I'm just resigned to it. If we want money for anything beyond a month of her wages I'll have to pay for it. As long as she doesn't stop paying her credit card off every month and doesn't get into store cards we'll live.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

My wife's allergic to spending money. I'm sure she turns off the gas when she flips a pancake.
I know she once found someone's pay packet in the street, and burst into tears because the guy had had Tuesday off.

[lord trumpton]

My wife earns way more than me, way more.

[csd19]

BrabusMog said:

Impasse said:

Marriage. What's in it for men?

Guaranteed shag every night and the dinner on the table when you get back from work? I hope so anyway, as at the moment my fiancé does the toast and everything else is up to me.

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!! You fool, thinking it'll be like that. It'll be exactly the same as it is now. Except without the shag.

[Ari]

0000 said:

She claims to, but nothing changes; money goes in, money goes out. Rarely on anything expensive, but the number of transactions on her bank statements is impressive.

I'm just resigned to it. If we want money for anything beyond a month of her wages I'll have to pay for it. As long as she doesn't stop paying her credit card off every month and doesn't get into store cards we'll live.

It doesn't sound like much of a partnership.

Never mind, no doubt she's very pretty...

[Digby]

boyse7en said:

I don't get why people get married at all.

Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.

I'm with you.It means nothing to us, either.It's right up there with the De Beers diamond engagement ring scam in my mind.We are still perfectly happy together after 25 years.If there are ever any legal complications etc etc, well, so what?

[KFC]

0000 said:

She might well get half of it if we divorce, but if my wife had access to my bank account I genuinely believe we'd be homeless at this point.

I earn something like 6x more than she does but live off less than she does. The money I don't spend goes towards the house so it's invested for both of us and our kids. She's been in full time employment earning more than the national average for most of the last 10-15 years we've been together, she's still in what was her student overdraft.

It works for us, how we structure our financial management doesn't affect the validity of our marriage certificate.

So you're smart enough to earn £150k+ yet you live with someone who's obviously an idiot

Why?

[0000]

KFC said:

So you're smart enough to earn £150k+ yet you live with someone who's obviously an idiot

Why?

Ari said:

It doesn't sound like much of a partnership.

Never mind, no doubt she's very pretty...

She's smart, has an MSc, but utterly terrible with arithmetic thinking about it. She pulls her weight in other ways; I'm similarly useless in the kitchen for much other than using the dishwasher and all our neighbours seem to think less of me because she'll mow the lawn. She does a lot more looking after our son than I do too, though as she gets things like carer's leave allowance it never makes financial sense for me to take a day off work instead of her if he's ill. That grates a bit.

[moorx]

I may well regret stepping into this thread - seeing as I'm female (and divorced)

I still respect the institution of marriage, but after mine broke up, I didn't ever want to be in a relationship again. I was perfectly happy being single (and stayed thus for 12 years). Then I met a friend of a friend. At first, I stuck to my guns - no relationships, and I certainly wouldn't ever sell my house. But things changed, and eventually, we both sold our houses to buy somewhere together.

We have been together 5 years, but are not married. Neither of us have children. My OH stays at home working on our property/business. I work full time. Call me unromantic, but the only thing that worries me about not being married (and I accept that there may be other things I should worry about) is the issue of inheritance tax. As I understand it, if one of us dies and we are not married, the surviving partner will be liable for inheritance tax on our property. Does anyone know if this is correct please?

[Monkeylegend]

My ex wife earns a lot more than me, she still has to work

Her choice of divorce solicitor was a dream come true.

[julian64]

Mobile Chicane said:

The established rule is that 'rich' doesn't marry 'poor'.

I keep comming back to this remark, cos it partially hits the nail on the head but in some ways misses.

One culture doesn't marry another
Rich doesn't marry poor
one religion doesn't marry another
one education level doesn't marry another


They are all wrong in my book, and in some ways they are all right. If you want to play it safe in life and have the best chance of a long rewarding marriage you obey these rules and probably more like them. You log onto some computer dating site where they match as many aspects of your personality including whether you're rich or poor as it seems like the sensible thing to do.

Taking a risk with one, or all of these because of 'love' is what a lot of people do, but they take no responsibility for doing it.
Sitting down with your best friend prior to a marriage and saying I know we are completely different but I love him should give rise to your friend slapping you around the face way before trying to be supportive.