Marriage, How much is she worth?
Discussion
Ari said:
That is a very sobering read (and should be compulsory reading for anyone considering marriage).
I'm genuinely sorry to hear about your situation and I hope it works out as best it can for you.
Good luck.
Thanks Ari.I'm genuinely sorry to hear about your situation and I hope it works out as best it can for you.
Good luck.
Life's very dark ATM but fingers crossed for a reasonable outcome. Dreading another xmas in this pokey rented flat, hate it.
Marriage? Never again.
I think that if people thought about marriage as a company it makes much more sense.
Originally you are 100% share holder of John Smith Ltd. You then meet someone who is 100% share holder of James Doe Ltd.
When you move in together you are now also both 50% share holders of Smith & Doe Ltd. The assumption is that anything you now do is for the benefit of the new company and not the original companies unless you are very careful with the paper work.
Getting married is just closing down the two original companies and moving all assets into the third company.
If you're not prepared to close down those companies then don't get married.
Originally you are 100% share holder of John Smith Ltd. You then meet someone who is 100% share holder of James Doe Ltd.
When you move in together you are now also both 50% share holders of Smith & Doe Ltd. The assumption is that anything you now do is for the benefit of the new company and not the original companies unless you are very careful with the paper work.
Getting married is just closing down the two original companies and moving all assets into the third company.
If you're not prepared to close down those companies then don't get married.
alock said:
I think that if people thought about marriage as a company it makes much more sense.
Originally you are 100% share holder of John Smith Ltd. You then meet someone who is 100% share holder of James Doe Ltd.
When you move in together you are now also both 50% share holders of Smith & Doe Ltd. The assumption is that anything you now do is for the benefit of the new company and not the original companies unless you are very careful with the paper work.
Getting married is just closing down the two original companies and moving all assets into the third company.
Getting divorced is like buying a Euromillions ticket. The 1 judge in x million will be fair, otherwise you'll lose 50% or 80-90% if kids are involved.Originally you are 100% share holder of John Smith Ltd. You then meet someone who is 100% share holder of James Doe Ltd.
When you move in together you are now also both 50% share holders of Smith & Doe Ltd. The assumption is that anything you now do is for the benefit of the new company and not the original companies unless you are very careful with the paper work.
Getting married is just closing down the two original companies and moving all assets into the third company.
Ari said:
lord trumpton said:
Your post above makes you sound a bit self centred, talking about your wealth and Lambo etc. 
If anyone goes into marriage having a major concern about losing half their wealth when it goes wrong then you are simply not ready to marry the person in question. Either that or you don't 'get' the marriage thing.
I've been married for nearly 10 years and we own our own home, the land it stands on and the vehicles we drive. We got to that position by teamwork, helping eachother out and giving and taking. We have three children whom we love dearly. If I have to think about the prospect of divorce then it leaves me cold.
I simply could not live without my wife and children and that is what terrifies me. Material stuff is just, well stuff.
I'd say that anyone who is not 100% ready to share everything without exception are not ready to get married. If you are worried about cars and houses then the priorities at that time in your life are not the right ones. All IMHO of course
Interesting post.If anyone goes into marriage having a major concern about losing half their wealth when it goes wrong then you are simply not ready to marry the person in question. Either that or you don't 'get' the marriage thing.
I've been married for nearly 10 years and we own our own home, the land it stands on and the vehicles we drive. We got to that position by teamwork, helping eachother out and giving and taking. We have three children whom we love dearly. If I have to think about the prospect of divorce then it leaves me cold.
I simply could not live without my wife and children and that is what terrifies me. Material stuff is just, well stuff.
I'd say that anyone who is not 100% ready to share everything without exception are not ready to get married. If you are worried about cars and houses then the priorities at that time in your life are not the right ones. All IMHO of course
But you're talking about a very different situation where you and your wife have created your world together.
But let me paint you a picture, see what you think.
Lets say the unthinkable happens, and your wife is no longer with us. A few years later, still pretty grief stricken you meet someone nice. She's got nothing, lives in a bedsit and has a min wage job but she's pretty, funny, cares about you. You maybe don't intend it but things develop and you find a glimmer of happiness and one day you think to yourself 'hey, be nice to be married again, I liked it before' and you pop the question.
Six months later you're married, a year after that you discover the new wife was only after your money and is shagging the (younger, fitter, better looking) gardener.
So you confront her, there are tears, she loves the gardener, there's no future for you and her. She leaves, moves in with the gardener.
How do you feel about her having half the financial comfort that you and your previous wife built up together? How do you feel about the kids of you and your first wife losing half their birthright - half the money that their mother and you created? Maybe they're still at school and have to come out of the private school that they enjoy so much because the woman dad was married to for a year is entitled to x hundred thousand pounds and dad has to find that to buy her out of their home.
What is your view on maintenance? You have no children with this woman but her solicitor says that she has an 'expectation of lifestyle'. Never mind that she had nothing two years ago, a rented bedsit and beans on toast for dinner. She's been married to a successful wealthy man, lived in a five bedroom house, drove a brand new Audi. Judge agrees, you've made a promise, you now need to keep her in a lifestyle. Because you were married.
What are your views on pensions? You've been prudent, you've made investments over many years, a comfortable retirement beckons - a well deserved life of golf, holidays and maybe a small yacht on the south coast. Or it did - her solicitor says half of that is hers now. Happy with that are you?
Presumably you're happy with all of it - the massive chunk of the money the mother of your kids and you built up that you are now forced to gift her. The lost legacy for your kids, the state school they're now in, the much reduced pension.
Because you didn't have that 'major concern about losing half their wealth when it goes wrong'.
You simply were 'ready to marry the person in question'. You 'got' the marriage thing.
Thanks, that's a great post with some very valid points
It's obviously something that I have not considered and looking at it that way, well there's no way I would go down that route.
The scenario you illustrate has a view of the ending though and it makes it easy.
Firstly I'd like to point out that my post was not to sound smug, it was in response to the lambo chap who was keen to point out his hard earned wealth and the desire to protect it.
What I was trying to say is that with marriage, if you take that view then its going to be built on poor foundations. Marriage is all about honesty, communication (good or bad news, feelings and concerns) and trust.
As there are no rules, becoming married or wanting to become married is an emotion. It's something that you tend to go with your heart.
If you truly, truly love someone then the prospect of divorce and its associated complications tend to get pushed away. If love someone enough to want to be with them forever but still have the wealth worry then it can be used as motivation to put more effort in. Maybe find out what your wife/partner is irritated by and try and avoid it.
I believe the number of cases of people marrying someone who is evil and out to trick them and take their money is relatively small. I believe that people need to have their relationship at the front of minds and try and avoid becoming lazy, complacent or uncaring.
The thing is things that life throws a lot of curved balls and they can easily take the wickets of a marriage if you let it. It all depends on how solid the foundations are and how much practice you put in beforehand (talking everything through and being honest and open) If it is started off with trust and transparency then the odds of surviving life's challenges are in your favour.
We have been through some very very upsetting times and in my case become so low that wanting out of life was considered. It's only through the support and resilience of my wife that has given me the leg up back onto the ladder of life.
I think that when you really want to commit to marriage then you have to take a certain leap into the unknown and do your best. Understanding the rules and requirements is essential though.
Instead of thinking 'hey Ive got all this money and stuff and nobody is taking it..' it's nicer to think 'wow with the work ive put in and the money accumulated we are in a fortunate position to share this.
If someone writes someone off or judges a partner by them earning minimum wage then its a mistake. The important thing is to have a loving person whom you trust and feel you can let your defences down with. Imagine if both people were money hungry...chances are they would miss out on the best things in life like sharing, giving and enjoying life together with or without children.
All of a sudden you are in your 40's, got loads of stuff and perhaps start to feel you are no longer as good looking and able as you once were. Think of the years that you could have enjoyed with someone. Someone you know who loves you for you warts and all.
Anyway I'll shut up now. I just think its a shame people can be very focussed on their status in life and the possessions they own or aspire to own.
Mobile Chicane said:
The established rule is that 'rich' doesn't marry 'poor'.
Correct. I'm not aware the law is any more favourable to a woman who had nothing now divorcing her wealthy husband than it is to a man who had nothing now divorcing his wealthy wife. It's got nothing to sexual discrimination against men, but it's all about the law relating to the division of assets at divorce not reflecting the position pre marriage.With more and more women having successful careers pre marriage, the number of cases where the women will get fleeced by their potless husbands will increase.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Correct. I'm not aware the law is any more favourable to a woman who had nothing now divorcing her wealthy husband than it is to a man who had nothing now divorcing his wealthy wife. It's got nothing to sexual discrimination against men, but it's all about the law relating to the division of assets at divorce not reflecting the position pre marriage.
With more and more women having successful careers pre marriage, the number of cases where the women will get fleeced by their potless husbands will increase.
Possibly, but on the whole men do not have a huge feeling of entitlement to what they have not earned. As such they tend not to demand huge pay outs when perhaps they could.With more and more women having successful careers pre marriage, the number of cases where the women will get fleeced by their potless husbands will increase.
Having said that, back in 2005 when I was in the throws of my second divorce I there was a woman on a forum I used that b
hed like crazy that her ex got the majority share of the marital assets (he got £900,000) and she kept the kids. She was a very well paid intellectual property lawyer and he was a teacher. alock said:
I think that if people thought about marriage as a company it makes much more sense.
Originally you are 100% share holder of John Smith Ltd. You then meet someone who is 100% share holder of James Doe Ltd.
When you move in together you are now also both 50% share holders of Smith & Doe Ltd. The assumption is that anything you now do is for the benefit of the new company and not the original companies unless you are very careful with the paper work.
Getting married is just closing down the two original companies and moving all assets into the third company.
If you're not prepared to close down those companies then don't get married.
So what about a scenario where company A is worth a 7 figures, company B is worth 50 pence. You like the other person and want to give things a go; but you have dependent family members (for most people this would be kids from a previous relationship, but could be non working parents or whatever)Originally you are 100% share holder of John Smith Ltd. You then meet someone who is 100% share holder of James Doe Ltd.
When you move in together you are now also both 50% share holders of Smith & Doe Ltd. The assumption is that anything you now do is for the benefit of the new company and not the original companies unless you are very careful with the paper work.
Getting married is just closing down the two original companies and moving all assets into the third company.
If you're not prepared to close down those companies then don't get married.
I don't think it deserves to be a black and white situation. There can't only be two solutions of "don't get married in the first place" or "charge in head first and lose half or more of your families inheritance"
strudel said:
There are a lot of bitter men on this forum. It's really very sad.
It's very easy to say that if you have not been through a divorce. Come back to me when you have been through having your life destroyed because your wife thought the grass was greener and more exciting and had an affair. Come back to me when the person you trusted with your life is willing to destroy your marriage, family and financial future for the thrill of sleeping with someone else because at that point in time it seems exciting and worth giving up everything for.Come back to me when you are living with your parents or in a rented bedsit and only seeing your children once a fortnight. Come back to me when you are picking them up from the marital home you are paying for while her new boyfriend answers the door. Come back to me when you have witnessed your 4 year old daughter holding your hand and begging you to stay and asking why daddy can't live with them anymore.
If you can go through all that and not be bitter then you are definitely a better man than I, and a lot of other men on this thread.
I would actually argue that the true divorce rate is at least 50% as those figures include all the people from our parents generation when divorce was much less common. I think if you only included marriages from the last 15 years or so the divorce rate would actually be higher than 50%.
As has already been said, when you get married every man thinks his wife would never cheat and is not at all worried about money. Trust me, once money is involved you will see the real person you married and I guarantee you will be shocked at just what your little perfect snowflake is capable of. Add in the fact that you have been shafted yet still need to be nice to her as she is threatening to stop you seeing the children and you will understand just how bad the situation is and just how played you have been.
Now I am not a well built director like the majority of people on here and only have a normal paying job, but having to start again from the age of 40 while having 14 years of child support payments ahead of you is an absolutely crushing situation to face.
Personally I just think it is way too big a risk anymore and a lot of men are obviously thinking the same these days as the marriage rate is decreasing year on year.
Smartphones, Facebook, Tinder, POF and all those other apps have made finding someone to give you attention when you are a little bored of your life so easy to do that I can only think the number of divorces is going to increase. Look at the Ashley Madison hack recently just to see how many married people are also looking for a bit of excitement in their lives. This is all made out to be a bit of harmless fun but these affairs are leading to the destruction of hundreds of thousands of peoples lives every year.
It is now two years since I split with ex and I truly believe divorce is something you will never get over 100%.
alock said:
I think that if people thought about marriage as a company it makes much more sense.
It's how I went through my divorce.We worked out what was put in at the start, then worked out any gains made since then (possessions) and split them 50/50.
It actually meant we both came out of it better than when we went in, and not a penny went to lawyers.
Joey Deacon said:
It's very easy to say that if you have not been through a divorce. Come back to me when you have been through having your life destroyed because your wife thought the grass was greener and more exciting and had an affair. Come back to me when the person you trusted with your life is willing to destroy your marriage, family and financial future for the thrill of sleeping with someone else because at that point in time it seems exciting and worth giving up everything for.
Come back to me when you are living with your parents or in a rented bedsit and only seeing your children once a fortnight. Come back to me when you are picking them up from the marital home you are paying for while her new boyfriend answers the door. Come back to me when you have witnessed your 4 year old daughter holding your hand and begging you to stay and asking why daddy can't live with them anymore.
If you can go through all that and not be bitter then you are definitely a better man than I, and a lot of other men on this thread.
I would actually argue that the true divorce rate is at least 50% as those figures include all the people from our parents generation when divorce was much less common. I think if you only included marriages from the last 15 years or so the divorce rate would actually be higher than 50%.
As has already been said, when you get married every man thinks his wife would never cheat and is not at all worried about money. Trust me, once money is involved you will see the real person you married and I guarantee you will be shocked at just what your little perfect snowflake is capable of. Add in the fact that you have been shafted yet still need to be nice to her as she is threatening to stop you seeing the children and you will understand just how bad the situation is and just how played you have been.
Now I am not a well built director like the majority of people on here and only have a normal paying job, but having to start again from the age of 40 while having 14 years of child support payments ahead of you is an absolutely crushing situation to face.
Personally I just think it is way too big a risk anymore and a lot of men are obviously thinking the same these days as the marriage rate is decreasing year on year.
Smartphones, Facebook, Tinder, POF and all those other apps have made finding someone to give you attention when you are a little bored of your life so easy to do that I can only think the number of divorces is going to increase. Look at the Ashley Madison hack recently just to see how many married people are also looking for a bit of excitement in their lives. This is all made out to be a bit of harmless fun but these affairs are leading to the destruction of hundreds of thousands of peoples lives every year.
It is now two years since I split with ex and I truly believe divorce is something you will never get over 100%.
I'm not saying this to be antagonistic but as a genuine question, do you accept any blame in the breakdown of your marriage? Either as being a bad judge of character to have married her initially, or for not being the husband you could have been during the marriage?Come back to me when you are living with your parents or in a rented bedsit and only seeing your children once a fortnight. Come back to me when you are picking them up from the marital home you are paying for while her new boyfriend answers the door. Come back to me when you have witnessed your 4 year old daughter holding your hand and begging you to stay and asking why daddy can't live with them anymore.
If you can go through all that and not be bitter then you are definitely a better man than I, and a lot of other men on this thread.
I would actually argue that the true divorce rate is at least 50% as those figures include all the people from our parents generation when divorce was much less common. I think if you only included marriages from the last 15 years or so the divorce rate would actually be higher than 50%.
As has already been said, when you get married every man thinks his wife would never cheat and is not at all worried about money. Trust me, once money is involved you will see the real person you married and I guarantee you will be shocked at just what your little perfect snowflake is capable of. Add in the fact that you have been shafted yet still need to be nice to her as she is threatening to stop you seeing the children and you will understand just how bad the situation is and just how played you have been.
Now I am not a well built director like the majority of people on here and only have a normal paying job, but having to start again from the age of 40 while having 14 years of child support payments ahead of you is an absolutely crushing situation to face.
Personally I just think it is way too big a risk anymore and a lot of men are obviously thinking the same these days as the marriage rate is decreasing year on year.
Smartphones, Facebook, Tinder, POF and all those other apps have made finding someone to give you attention when you are a little bored of your life so easy to do that I can only think the number of divorces is going to increase. Look at the Ashley Madison hack recently just to see how many married people are also looking for a bit of excitement in their lives. This is all made out to be a bit of harmless fun but these affairs are leading to the destruction of hundreds of thousands of peoples lives every year.
It is now two years since I split with ex and I truly believe divorce is something you will never get over 100%.
I know a few people whose marriages have broken down, and looking in from the outside, in all of them I wouldn't say one person was 100% to blame. On the ones when he or she had an affair, I kind of think "I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner, given the way they were being treated."
The people who have accepted some blame for what happened seem to be able to deal with the situation far better than those who are convinced they are completely the innocent party.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
I'm not saying this to be antagonistic but as a genuine question, do you accept any blame in the breakdown of your marriage? Either as being a bad judge of character to have married her initially, or for not being the husband you could have been during the marriage?
I know a few people whose marriages have broken down, and looking in from the outside, in all of them I wouldn't say one person was 100% to blame. On the ones when he or she had an affair, I kind of think "I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner, given the way they were being treated."
The people who have accepted some blame for what happened seem to be able to deal with the situation far better than those who are convinced they are completely the innocent party.
I think you're missing the point. It isn't about 'blame'. I know a few people whose marriages have broken down, and looking in from the outside, in all of them I wouldn't say one person was 100% to blame. On the ones when he or she had an affair, I kind of think "I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner, given the way they were being treated."
The people who have accepted some blame for what happened seem to be able to deal with the situation far better than those who are convinced they are completely the innocent party.
You're absolutely right, two sides to every coin, normally (not always!) both parties responsible to some degree.
BUT.
Read the post above and see which one ended up with the kids and the house and which ended up with the square root of f
k all, fourteen years of maintenance and having to be nice to the ex just to gain permission to see his own children! Whoever's fault it was, I can certainly see why he's bitter and I can't blame him.
lord trumpton said:
Ari
Thanks, that's a great post with some very valid points
It's obviously something that I have not considered and looking at it that way, well there's no way I would go down that route.
The scenario you illustrate has a view of the ending though and it makes it easy.
Firstly I'd like to point out that my post was not to sound smug, it was in response to the lambo chap who was keen to point out his hard earned wealth and the desire to protect it.
What I was trying to say is that with marriage, if you take that view then its going to be built on poor foundations. Marriage is all about honesty, communication (good or bad news, feelings and concerns) and trust.
As there are no rules, becoming married or wanting to become married is an emotion. It's something that you tend to go with your heart.
If you truly, truly love someone then the prospect of divorce and its associated complications tend to get pushed away. If love someone enough to want to be with them forever but still have the wealth worry then it can be used as motivation to put more effort in. Maybe find out what your wife/partner is irritated by and try and avoid it.
I believe the number of cases of people marrying someone who is evil and out to trick them and take their money is relatively small. I believe that people need to have their relationship at the front of minds and try and avoid becoming lazy, complacent or uncaring.
The thing is things that life throws a lot of curved balls and they can easily take the wickets of a marriage if you let it. It all depends on how solid the foundations are and how much practice you put in beforehand (talking everything through and being honest and open) If it is started off with trust and transparency then the odds of surviving life's challenges are in your favour.
We have been through some very very upsetting times and in my case become so low that wanting out of life was considered. It's only through the support and resilience of my wife that has given me the leg up back onto the ladder of life.
I think that when you really want to commit to marriage then you have to take a certain leap into the unknown and do your best. Understanding the rules and requirements is essential though.
Instead of thinking 'hey Ive got all this money and stuff and nobody is taking it..' it's nicer to think 'wow with the work ive put in and the money accumulated we are in a fortunate position to share this.
If someone writes someone off or judges a partner by them earning minimum wage then its a mistake. The important thing is to have a loving person whom you trust and feel you can let your defences down with. Imagine if both people were money hungry...chances are they would miss out on the best things in life like sharing, giving and enjoying life together with or without children.
All of a sudden you are in your 40's, got loads of stuff and perhaps start to feel you are no longer as good looking and able as you once were. Think of the years that you could have enjoyed with someone. Someone you know who loves you for you warts and all.
Anyway I'll shut up now. I just think its a shame people can be very focussed on their status in life and the possessions they own or aspire to own.
Thanks for your measured response. Thanks, that's a great post with some very valid points
It's obviously something that I have not considered and looking at it that way, well there's no way I would go down that route.
The scenario you illustrate has a view of the ending though and it makes it easy.
Firstly I'd like to point out that my post was not to sound smug, it was in response to the lambo chap who was keen to point out his hard earned wealth and the desire to protect it.
What I was trying to say is that with marriage, if you take that view then its going to be built on poor foundations. Marriage is all about honesty, communication (good or bad news, feelings and concerns) and trust.
As there are no rules, becoming married or wanting to become married is an emotion. It's something that you tend to go with your heart.
If you truly, truly love someone then the prospect of divorce and its associated complications tend to get pushed away. If love someone enough to want to be with them forever but still have the wealth worry then it can be used as motivation to put more effort in. Maybe find out what your wife/partner is irritated by and try and avoid it.
I believe the number of cases of people marrying someone who is evil and out to trick them and take their money is relatively small. I believe that people need to have their relationship at the front of minds and try and avoid becoming lazy, complacent or uncaring.
The thing is things that life throws a lot of curved balls and they can easily take the wickets of a marriage if you let it. It all depends on how solid the foundations are and how much practice you put in beforehand (talking everything through and being honest and open) If it is started off with trust and transparency then the odds of surviving life's challenges are in your favour.
We have been through some very very upsetting times and in my case become so low that wanting out of life was considered. It's only through the support and resilience of my wife that has given me the leg up back onto the ladder of life.
I think that when you really want to commit to marriage then you have to take a certain leap into the unknown and do your best. Understanding the rules and requirements is essential though.
Instead of thinking 'hey Ive got all this money and stuff and nobody is taking it..' it's nicer to think 'wow with the work ive put in and the money accumulated we are in a fortunate position to share this.
If someone writes someone off or judges a partner by them earning minimum wage then its a mistake. The important thing is to have a loving person whom you trust and feel you can let your defences down with. Imagine if both people were money hungry...chances are they would miss out on the best things in life like sharing, giving and enjoying life together with or without children.
All of a sudden you are in your 40's, got loads of stuff and perhaps start to feel you are no longer as good looking and able as you once were. Think of the years that you could have enjoyed with someone. Someone you know who loves you for you warts and all.
Anyway I'll shut up now. I just think its a shame people can be very focussed on their status in life and the possessions they own or aspire to own.
In principle I agree with you whole heartedly!
In practice, as evidenced by many many threads on here and personal experience of close friends, I think I'll pass on gambling everything I own, thanks. I wouldn't put half of everything I own on 'red' either...
It doesn't mean I have to live my life alone, and indeed I don't. You don't have to be married to have a fulfilling relationship - fortunately!
Captain Muppet said:
RizzoTheRat said:
Captain Muppet said:
I wish I'd known I was signing half my house away when I got married. It wouldn't have made any difference to the marriage, but it would have made the divorce much easier to cope with.
I find it weird that anyone getting married would not realise that?Joey Deacon said:
It's very easy to say that if you have not been through a divorce. Come back to me when you have been through having your life destroyed because your wife thought the grass was greener and more exciting and had an affair. Come back to me when the person you trusted with your life is willing to destroy your marriage, family and financial future for the thrill of sleeping with someone else because at that point in time it seems exciting and worth giving up everything for.
Come back to me when you are living with your parents or in a rented bedsit and only seeing your children once a fortnight. Come back to me when you are picking them up from the marital home you are paying for while her new boyfriend answers the door. Come back to me when you have witnessed your 4 year old daughter holding your hand and begging you to stay and asking why daddy can't live with them anymore.
If you can go through all that and not be bitter then you are definitely a better man than I, and a lot of other men on this thread.
I would actually argue that the true divorce rate is at least 50% as those figures include all the people from our parents generation when divorce was much less common. I think if you only included marriages from the last 15 years or so the divorce rate would actually be higher than 50%.
As has already been said, when you get married every man thinks his wife would never cheat and is not at all worried about money. Trust me, once money is involved you will see the real person you married and I guarantee you will be shocked at just what your little perfect snowflake is capable of. Add in the fact that you have been shafted yet still need to be nice to her as she is threatening to stop you seeing the children and you will understand just how bad the situation is and just how played you have been.
Now I am not a well built director like the majority of people on here and only have a normal paying job, but having to start again from the age of 40 while having 14 years of child support payments ahead of you is an absolutely crushing situation to face.
Personally I just think it is way too big a risk anymore and a lot of men are obviously thinking the same these days as the marriage rate is decreasing year on year.
Smartphones, Facebook, Tinder, POF and all those other apps have made finding someone to give you attention when you are a little bored of your life so easy to do that I can only think the number of divorces is going to increase. Look at the Ashley Madison hack recently just to see how many married people are also looking for a bit of excitement in their lives. This is all made out to be a bit of harmless fun but these affairs are leading to the destruction of hundreds of thousands of peoples lives every year.
It is now two years since I split with ex and I truly believe divorce is something you will never get over 100%.
A well written and thought out posting.Come back to me when you are living with your parents or in a rented bedsit and only seeing your children once a fortnight. Come back to me when you are picking them up from the marital home you are paying for while her new boyfriend answers the door. Come back to me when you have witnessed your 4 year old daughter holding your hand and begging you to stay and asking why daddy can't live with them anymore.
If you can go through all that and not be bitter then you are definitely a better man than I, and a lot of other men on this thread.
I would actually argue that the true divorce rate is at least 50% as those figures include all the people from our parents generation when divorce was much less common. I think if you only included marriages from the last 15 years or so the divorce rate would actually be higher than 50%.
As has already been said, when you get married every man thinks his wife would never cheat and is not at all worried about money. Trust me, once money is involved you will see the real person you married and I guarantee you will be shocked at just what your little perfect snowflake is capable of. Add in the fact that you have been shafted yet still need to be nice to her as she is threatening to stop you seeing the children and you will understand just how bad the situation is and just how played you have been.
Now I am not a well built director like the majority of people on here and only have a normal paying job, but having to start again from the age of 40 while having 14 years of child support payments ahead of you is an absolutely crushing situation to face.
Personally I just think it is way too big a risk anymore and a lot of men are obviously thinking the same these days as the marriage rate is decreasing year on year.
Smartphones, Facebook, Tinder, POF and all those other apps have made finding someone to give you attention when you are a little bored of your life so easy to do that I can only think the number of divorces is going to increase. Look at the Ashley Madison hack recently just to see how many married people are also looking for a bit of excitement in their lives. This is all made out to be a bit of harmless fun but these affairs are leading to the destruction of hundreds of thousands of peoples lives every year.
It is now two years since I split with ex and I truly believe divorce is something you will never get over 100%.
Wish you well with getting over the utter turmoil you have described.
Axionknight said:
boyse7en said:
I don't get why people get married at all.
Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.
You will do if one of you ends up insensible in a care home/coma/dead and the legal wranglings of not being married arise, I know it's a small chance and a terrible thing to think of but such a circumstance has caused people problems in the past.Been with my partner 23 years, two kids, don't see any reason to get married.
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