Discussion
Rich_W said:
Clearly. Doesn't mean I have to like it though. And as she's easily led at times. I predict this will not end well. And I'd rather not be there to see/become involved by association by it.
(Or more accurately be there to fruitlessly try and pick up the pieces like a mug)
You can either like it or not like it, but I can tell you that making judgements and evaluations and beating your holy stick about it wont solve anything for her or for you. Why the frustration? Control? (Or more accurately be there to fruitlessly try and pick up the pieces like a mug)
You've come on saying how bad this person is, so why get further involved with them when they dont seem to want your help anyway?
Definition of insanity
andy-xr said:
You can either like it or not like it, but I can tell you that making judgements and evaluations and beating your holy stick about it wont solve anything for her or for you. Why the frustration? Control?
You've come on saying how bad this person is, so why get further involved with them when they dont seem to want your help anyway?
Definition of insanity
True enough.You've come on saying how bad this person is, so why get further involved with them when they dont seem to want your help anyway?
Definition of insanity
I guess my frustration is directed more at myself though. She said something and I seized upon it, and started this thread, and read various websites. And I idiotically believed that I could, somehow control (Yes, I know, I'm an idiot ) this and help. White Knight and then some! When as you rightly say she almost certainly isn't looking for my help. Since maybe her coke buddies ARE more important to her than everyone else. (I get a perverse pleasure in seeing the leader of their little posse already looking haggered at the young age he is though) Also part of my frustration is because she was evidently doing more than I thought, to the point of financial implications.
But not to worry. I'm taking the advice of various posters (who I appreciate because you are all impartial. Hence this thread) and my friends and going to just let her get on with it.
jonamv8
Oh yes. Definetly.
Rich_W said:
True enough.
I guess my frustration is directed more at myself though. She said something and I seized upon it, and started this thread, and read various websites. And I idiotically believed that I could, somehow control (Yes, I know, I'm an idiot ) this and help. White Knight and then some! When as you rightly say she almost certainly isn't looking for my help. Since maybe her coke buddies ARE more important to her than everyone else. (I get a perverse pleasure in seeing the leader of their little posse already looking haggered at the young age he is though) Also part of my frustration is because she was evidently doing more than I thought, to the point of financial implications.
Meh, that's just dramahunting. We all do it. I guess my frustration is directed more at myself though. She said something and I seized upon it, and started this thread, and read various websites. And I idiotically believed that I could, somehow control (Yes, I know, I'm an idiot ) this and help. White Knight and then some! When as you rightly say she almost certainly isn't looking for my help. Since maybe her coke buddies ARE more important to her than everyone else. (I get a perverse pleasure in seeing the leader of their little posse already looking haggered at the young age he is though) Also part of my frustration is because she was evidently doing more than I thought, to the point of financial implications.
If she wants your help and you want to give it to her (the help that is) that's fine, but forcing her to accept it is going to get it thrown back at you and you'll then think she's the biggest bh ever. Til she wants the help there's no point looking
andy-xr said:
If she wants your help and you want to give it to her (the help that is) that's fine, but forcing her to accept it is going to get it thrown back at you and you'll then think she's the biggest bh ever. Til she wants the help there's no point looking
I agree completely. I think I just got in a bit of a panic the last few days when I realised the full extent of it all. Thankfully, I haven't done anything yet though. Our friendship is still the same. I've not mentioned anything to her about this other than my cautioning her the other night. I'm not labouring the point, and my last message to her yesterday was a piss take about something else entirely. So as per peoples advice let her get on with it. Hopefully, she'll want to talk about sooner rather than later. But until that time...Simblade re: Video. I suspect most get that environmental conditions can cause addictions. And them saying that what you need to do is sort the cause of the unhappiness/addiction first before the symptons is just logical really. Saying that how do you get her to stop seeing (some) of her friends (and 1 in particular!) as not in her best interests.
Short of setting him up to get arrested with a large quantity of class A on him of course
Edited by Rich_W on Thursday 15th October 20:27
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