Your most irritating work colleague
Discussion
The person who is utterly incapable of answering a simple question. Instead says things like.
"Why do you want to know?"
(It makes no difference why I want to know just answer the chuffing question)
"That's not the important question though"
(Yes it is because that's the one I'm bloody asking)
Then when they finally give you a piece of information they add a sarcastic 'isn't it' at the end of the sentence so given that they are so obstructive you don't know whether
they are saying 'isn't it!' or 'isn't it?'
(I don't now, is it? that's what I'm asking)
The really infuriating thing is that when they ask you a question they don't listen to the answer.
Them "Is today's meeting going ahead?"
Me "Yes. But be aware they aren't covering..."
"But is it going ahead?"
"Yes. But you won't get a decision on..."
"But is it going ahead?"
"Yes. Just don't expect..."
"For the fourth time is it going ahead?"
"For the fourth time YES. I'm just informing you.."
"So it's going ahead"
"Yes. I give up"
A few hours later.
Them "What's the decision on phase 27?"
Me "There isn't one yet because.."
"But you said the meeting went ahead"
"It did, but there isn't a decision..."
"YOU TOLD ME IT WAS GOING AHEAD"
"The meeting did but.."
"Why does nobody tell me what's going on?"
"We do, but you don't listen"
"Why does nobody tell me what's going on?"
"Why do you want to know?"
(It makes no difference why I want to know just answer the chuffing question)
"That's not the important question though"
(Yes it is because that's the one I'm bloody asking)
Then when they finally give you a piece of information they add a sarcastic 'isn't it' at the end of the sentence so given that they are so obstructive you don't know whether
they are saying 'isn't it!' or 'isn't it?'
(I don't now, is it? that's what I'm asking)
The really infuriating thing is that when they ask you a question they don't listen to the answer.
Them "Is today's meeting going ahead?"
Me "Yes. But be aware they aren't covering..."
"But is it going ahead?"
"Yes. But you won't get a decision on..."
"But is it going ahead?"
"Yes. Just don't expect..."
"For the fourth time is it going ahead?"
"For the fourth time YES. I'm just informing you.."
"So it's going ahead"
"Yes. I give up"
A few hours later.
Them "What's the decision on phase 27?"
Me "There isn't one yet because.."
"But you said the meeting went ahead"
"It did, but there isn't a decision..."
"YOU TOLD ME IT WAS GOING AHEAD"
"The meeting did but.."
"Why does nobody tell me what's going on?"
"We do, but you don't listen"
"Why does nobody tell me what's going on?"
Dr Jekyll said:
The person who is utterly incapable of answering a simple question. Instead says things like.
"Why do you want to know?"
(It makes no difference why I want to know just answer the chuffing question)
"That's not the important question though"
(Yes it is because that's the one I'm bloody asking)
Then when they finally give you a piece of information they add a sarcastic 'isn't it' at the end of the sentence so given that they are so obstructive you don't know whether
they are saying 'isn't it!' or 'isn't it?'
(I don't now, is it? that's what I'm asking)
The really infuriating thing is that when they ask you a question they don't listen to the answer.
Them "Is today's meeting going ahead?"
Me "Yes. But be aware they aren't covering..."
"But is it going ahead?"
"Yes. But you won't get a decision on..."
"But is it going ahead?"
"Yes. Just don't expect..."
"For the fourth time is it going ahead?"
"For the fourth time YES. I'm just informing you.."
"So it's going ahead"
"Yes. I give up"
A few hours later.
Them "What's the decision on phase 27?"
Me "There isn't one yet because.."
"But you said the meeting went ahead"
"It did, but there isn't a decision..."
"YOU TOLD ME IT WAS GOING AHEAD"
"The meeting did but.."
"Why does nobody tell me what's going on?"
"We do, but you don't listen"
"Why does nobody tell me what's going on?"
fking hell are they mentally retarded or what?"Why do you want to know?"
(It makes no difference why I want to know just answer the chuffing question)
"That's not the important question though"
(Yes it is because that's the one I'm bloody asking)
Then when they finally give you a piece of information they add a sarcastic 'isn't it' at the end of the sentence so given that they are so obstructive you don't know whether
they are saying 'isn't it!' or 'isn't it?'
(I don't now, is it? that's what I'm asking)
The really infuriating thing is that when they ask you a question they don't listen to the answer.
Them "Is today's meeting going ahead?"
Me "Yes. But be aware they aren't covering..."
"But is it going ahead?"
"Yes. But you won't get a decision on..."
"But is it going ahead?"
"Yes. Just don't expect..."
"For the fourth time is it going ahead?"
"For the fourth time YES. I'm just informing you.."
"So it's going ahead"
"Yes. I give up"
A few hours later.
Them "What's the decision on phase 27?"
Me "There isn't one yet because.."
"But you said the meeting went ahead"
"It did, but there isn't a decision..."
"YOU TOLD ME IT WAS GOING AHEAD"
"The meeting did but.."
"Why does nobody tell me what's going on?"
"We do, but you don't listen"
"Why does nobody tell me what's going on?"
Guy who has to be involved in everything; we have a morning meeting, door is closed but the blind is up, he wanders by a few times; looking in through the window everytime he goes past, you just know he is trying to think of a reason to knock to come in to ask a question, it's only a matter of time and then "knock knock".
Same guy loves to solve a problem; you ask him if he can do something for you; all I want is a yes or no answer, he will give chapter and verse as to why he can't; loudly, so everyone can hear how busy he is, I don't care why he can't do it I just want to know if he can or not. So after being told that he can't do it, a few minutes later he has worked out a solution to said problem and can do it, there is a "window of opportunity" but he has to go now as he has moved a few things about, this is being told to us loudly again so that everyone knows he has solved the issue.
Same guy is a football fanatic, has to tell everyone who will listen about the football last night; loudly, you will hear the same thing, 10 times over the course of the day as he has to tell everyone he meets; I hate football.
Same guy is a face hugger and toucher, he gets really close when speaking to you, right in your face and he will prod you or knock you, to get your attention, move away and he will just move with you; I hate it.
Same guy is in charge of replenishing the coffee, tea and sugar, again he loves to tell everyone that he is in charge, he and only he, has a key to the coffee cupboard, mess with the coffee and he goes apoplectic with anger; so we mess with the coffee!!
Funny thing is; that behind all of that, there is a lovely and genuine guy who will do anything for you, I know that if I have problems at home or at work I could confide in him, in strictest confidence and he would help if he could.
Same guy loves to solve a problem; you ask him if he can do something for you; all I want is a yes or no answer, he will give chapter and verse as to why he can't; loudly, so everyone can hear how busy he is, I don't care why he can't do it I just want to know if he can or not. So after being told that he can't do it, a few minutes later he has worked out a solution to said problem and can do it, there is a "window of opportunity" but he has to go now as he has moved a few things about, this is being told to us loudly again so that everyone knows he has solved the issue.
Same guy is a football fanatic, has to tell everyone who will listen about the football last night; loudly, you will hear the same thing, 10 times over the course of the day as he has to tell everyone he meets; I hate football.
Same guy is a face hugger and toucher, he gets really close when speaking to you, right in your face and he will prod you or knock you, to get your attention, move away and he will just move with you; I hate it.
Same guy is in charge of replenishing the coffee, tea and sugar, again he loves to tell everyone that he is in charge, he and only he, has a key to the coffee cupboard, mess with the coffee and he goes apoplectic with anger; so we mess with the coffee!!
Funny thing is; that behind all of that, there is a lovely and genuine guy who will do anything for you, I know that if I have problems at home or at work I could confide in him, in strictest confidence and he would help if he could.
I think it might be me. Whilst sat at my desk, I jiggle my legs and tap my feet incessantly, like an epileptic river-dancer at a thrash metal gig. Whenever I catch myself I stop, but it seems to be my default setting when I'm concentrating on something. The poor sod who sits opposite me has never said anything, but probably has motion sickness from his desk and monitor bouncing up and down due to the vibration.
If someone did it to me I would hold them down and cheerfully saw their legs off.
Sorry Rob.
If someone did it to me I would hold them down and cheerfully saw their legs off.
Sorry Rob.
The eavesdropping one. Drives me fking nuts.
I was once telling a colleague (who works with me on a particular project, which I lead) about the latest findings. I was doing so quietly as it was a shared office. Then someone from elsewhere in the office pipes up...
"That sounds like an interesting project"
"Thanks for listening to a conversation which has fk all to do with you"
"Can I join in?"
"No, you can fk right off"
I now have my own office.
Same person, different incident. A colleague and I (who sat next to each other) had been considered for promotion and were interviewed that afternoon (non-competitive, both were promoted), our line manager comes into the office and says "all confirmed guys, well done" before he left the site. Eavesdropping idiot again takes an interest...
"What's this? What is confirmed?"
"We have all agreed that you're an annoying busy-body spastic".
The reality is that we just ignore this person now.
I was once telling a colleague (who works with me on a particular project, which I lead) about the latest findings. I was doing so quietly as it was a shared office. Then someone from elsewhere in the office pipes up...
"That sounds like an interesting project"
"Thanks for listening to a conversation which has fk all to do with you"
"Can I join in?"
"No, you can fk right off"
I now have my own office.
Same person, different incident. A colleague and I (who sat next to each other) had been considered for promotion and were interviewed that afternoon (non-competitive, both were promoted), our line manager comes into the office and says "all confirmed guys, well done" before he left the site. Eavesdropping idiot again takes an interest...
"What's this? What is confirmed?"
"We have all agreed that you're an annoying busy-body spastic".
The reality is that we just ignore this person now.
My MD is a nightmare. I am certain he has a narcissistic personality disorder. He is convinced he is the most important person. in the world so he thinks everyone else is an idiot. He completely lacks empathy and is unbelievably rude to almost everyone. I hope someone will knock his teeth out soon but I will start looking for a new job next week.
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