Your most irritating work colleague

Your most irritating work colleague

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R6VED

1,365 posts

139 months

Sunday 11th October 2015
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2gins said:
It's the guy who sits in the corner coughing up his guts like Bob Phlegming.
His name isn't Nigel White is it?



J4CKO

41,284 posts

199 months

Sunday 11th October 2015
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We have one, nice guy otherwise but when he sneezes its SO LOUD and he Goes "ATTTTCHOOO", its weird.

Poisson96

2,098 posts

130 months

Sunday 11th October 2015
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Lazy and useless colleague is the worst in mine, rarely works when on shift. Utter pain.

Rostfritt

3,098 posts

150 months

Sunday 11th October 2015
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andyr30 said:
I work with someone exactly the same as this. Nothing is ever her fault, her computer makes mistakes all the time. Something's been booked in wrong, must have been the computer. Password isn't working, the computers at fault. She only works 3 days a week and when she comes in on her first day after the day's off she's forgotten everything that happened in the previous week.
Forever asking me questions that she should know the answer to. Makes the same mistakes over and over despite being shown every time how to do it the right way.
She's of retirement age so looking forward to the day!
I was thinking we were at the same office then, except this one is full time and only ever seems to ask ME. For the record she has been there 20 years at an entry level and I've been there about 4, there are temps who know loads more than her. She always complains are systems don't always give the correct information without having to sometimes do a bit of digging around, completely missing the point that it is part of her job to check the output is right.

Brave Fart

5,680 posts

110 months

Sunday 11th October 2015
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There's a guy in my office who's a really hardworking, nice fella with a great sense of humour...........BUT he sniffs loudly, literally every 32.6 seconds. Yes I have timed it. It's metronomic; after a while you find yourself waiting for the next one, you can't do any work. Sometimes I find myself sniffing along with him too. I have tried to raise this with comments like "Do you think you're allergic to anything in this office [HINT fkING HINT]?" but it sails over his head.
Oddly, when he is on the 'phone it stops. One day I will lose it and scream "why the fk don't you just blow your fking nose which I suggest you do before I punch it through the back of your fking head you otherwise reasonable and sensible employee you?!" Plus he supports Southampton, which hardly helps, does it?

Forever Alone

8,842 posts

186 months

Sunday 11th October 2015
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I work with a whistler. Not a lip whistler, but the more annoying tooth whistler.

bazza white

3,550 posts

127 months

Sunday 11th October 2015
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We have one whose head is shot. You tell him something and 2 minutes later he will be telling it to someone else in a completely different way, you try and put him right but he's adamant what he's saying is right and fact. He comes out with stuff you know isn't true but its not that he's lying its that he believes what is coming out his own mouth. You have to be careful what you say around him. He's a complete ahole to and will slag you off the moment your back is turned.

andy-xr

13,204 posts

203 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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We have a fluffy talker. It's infuriating because when we have a sales call, there's a stream of bks that comes out his mouth and you have to pick out certain words that may be relevant to the topic.

We work across different regions and English is the language we communicate in, though there's 6 or 7 different nationalities. The finer nuances of this guys reply get lost, especially on the boss who's now starting to interrupt and ask him to be more concise. And that's before the California buzzwords get going

ST150HB

446 posts

148 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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Dinosaur grown ups who know policy from 5-10 years ago verbatim and get funny when you tell them that actually it has changed!

Ubar

58 posts

135 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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I think my current team is made up of all of the above... I've got a perpetual moaner, the vauge ineffectual type who won't give you a concrete response on anything, the phantom tap dancer.

I think the most irritating is the "rebel without a cause". He can always find an axe to grind, whether it's in director level strategy or in a piece of work he is supposed to be completing. He seems to think you are interested in hearing his opinion in great length as to why he shouldn't have to do something because he doesn't find it as interesting as something else.

You're on time and materials, shut up and do what you're being paid to do!

droopsnoot

11,809 posts

241 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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J4CKO said:
We have one, nice guy otherwise but when he sneezes its SO LOUD and he Goes "ATTTTCHOOO", its weird.
Oh, we had one of those as well - not so much the volume, but the way he was basically saying "Atchoo" at the end was irritating. I didn't get on with that specific person, so possibly a lot of the things I found annoying weren't really that bad.

Another one used to walk very slowly indeed around the office. So if he went to the loo, or to talk to someone, he'd walk so slowly it had to be deliberate - I figured he was just maximising the time away from his desk. Annoying when stuck behind him as the corridors weren't wide enough to get past.

One of our very senior people (i.e. not in a position to be disciplined) would spend hours playing Solitaire but quickly minimise the window if anyone came to his office, and would regularly disappear. One memorable incident was when preparing some equipment for a trade show, he muttered "Just nipping down to the car", yet forgot to add ", getting in it, and going away on holiday for the rest of the week".

Brew-making caused all sorts of issues as we got more employees (went from 2 to about 30) so there were the inevitable groups formed, until our first non-technical employee was taken on specifically to make tea and go to the sandwich shop.

Negative Creep

24,942 posts

226 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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Our boss


- Never talks to anyone in the office aside from her deputies. Comes in, sits at her computer all day and will ignore everyone, unless it's to tell them their target or they're talking too much.

- During her time here nearly half the workforce have left or been sacked, leaving us chronically short on manpower. We've gone from about a 15:1 management to staff to 4:1. Her solution is timed breaks for everyone and looking at getting CCTV installed.

- Despite being so busy she never helps out, as "she's paid too much to do that sort of thing"

- Sits browsing facebook, planning her night out or chatting whilst we're running around trying to sort everything out

- Spent thousands on machinery which would supposedly improve efficiency despite us all saying they don't suit the nature of our work. Now they just sit there unused.

- Won't let people change their hours for doctors or hospital appointments, changes her hours every time she needs one. Tried to stop one person having a day off to go to her Granddad's funeral

- Her superior ignores our attempts to contact him, instead forwarding the emails directly to her.


Actually, less irritating and more hateful cow

robinessex

11,046 posts

180 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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You need Machiavelli. Set her up to make a colosal balls up, and she'll be gone pronto.

Jimmy Recard

17,540 posts

178 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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droopsnoot said:
One of our very senior people (i.e. not in a position to be disciplined) would spend hours playing Solitaire but quickly minimise the window if anyone came to his office, and would regularly disappear. One memorable incident was when preparing some equipment for a trade show, he muttered "Just nipping down to the car", yet forgot to add ", getting in it, and going away on holiday for the rest of the week".
My brother has always been someone who does that.

"I've just got to quickly do something."

You call him a few hours later and he's just having a night out in Dublin or something equally unexpected.

so called

9,074 posts

208 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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I work out of a German office.
6 years ago a new Key Accounts Manager started, an East German.
My boss told me he would be working with me, I'm an Application Marketing Engineer, on the North American market.

He was invited to the Christmas party in advance of his start and introduced to me.
Me, "The US market is great."
Him, "Ja, Ja I know."
Me, "have you been over."
Him, "Nine."
:@

In the following 3 years he didn't ask me a single question about the market.

He once told me that East German Engineers are better than West German Engineers. I listed a few car manufacturers and asked his opinion against the Travant.

Complete knob.

Now I cover India as well........he's just been transferred to the Indian market :'(


Edited by so called on Tuesday 13th October 03:41

Catatafish

1,361 posts

144 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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The one who is testing a new garlic-turd bioweapon in the gents.

CR6ZZ

1,313 posts

144 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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Out of an office of seven I appear to be the only one who has any idea how to change a bog roll or put anything in the dishwasher.

CoolHands

18,496 posts

194 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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I've got one that occasionally speaks in a northern yorkshire manner. As in "yeah it were only two year ago we did it like that" like he's a fking farmer or summink. I keep expecting to see a piece of straw sticking out his gob.

Seriously. You grew up in west london suburbs.

smithyithy

7,192 posts

117 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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I'm struggling to pick just one...

Okay, let's call him Bruce.

- Acts like a manager, isn't. at all. He's a site manager. That gives him zero authority over any other employee. He doesn't accept this.

- Has stupidly loud, obnoxious ringtone. Never puts his phone on silent or vibrate when it's right in front if him on the desk, in a silent office. Often he just lets it ring out when can't be arsed to answer.

- When he does answer, it's always as loud an obnoxiously as possible. "Ayyyup maaaate!! Not toooo bad!! Hahahaheheeheee". I doubt the person even asked him how he was. Or told a joke worthy of his elongated, dhead laugh.

- He'll then either sit slumped in his chair, facing away from his desk and talk very loudly so everyone has to hear what his conversation is about (mr important manager remember..), or he'll get up out of his seat and casually stroll around the desks (which are in an open plan 'H' shape) while having his conversation, peering over people's shoulders at their screen, and even momentarily leaning on peoples (MINE) desks next to then while on the phone.

- He knows everything. Or he knows someone who knows everything. Or he's done what you've done, only more times, better, quicker, cheaper, more expensive etc etc. He's the guy that has to 1-up every thing everyone says, no matter how small.

- Openly slags off other employees. This is one of my biggest annoyances at work and so unprofessional I've been close to saying something to him. 'Ah that Pete so-and-so is doing my head in, what a dhead', 'off to that meeting with John such-and-such, can't stand the tt..'. I'm sure those people are just as fond of you, mate.

- To sum him up, he's your typical Qashqai driving, bullst-spouting, self-important , middle-aged sad-dad knob head.

GroundEffect

13,819 posts

155 months

Monday 12th October 2015
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so called said:
I'm an Application Marketing Engineer, on the North American market.
You're a what?

In my work, there's no one that's annoying apart from one guy that goes out of his way to be semi-standoffish/'funny' and no one really gets on with him. He's had some hard time at home recently but by God is getting any info from him tedious.