Your most irritating work colleague
Discussion
Dandruff man. Shared workspaces become a Christmas nativity scene if you're not careful.
Same fella is one of those who will go to the end of the earth to prove to the minutest degree that he was right. His favourite opening email line is "thanks for proving my point"
The woman who has been over-promoted because she says 50 words when 5 would do. When you actually listen to what she says, which is now not very often, it's just absolute rubbish
Same fella is one of those who will go to the end of the earth to prove to the minutest degree that he was right. His favourite opening email line is "thanks for proving my point"
The woman who has been over-promoted because she says 50 words when 5 would do. When you actually listen to what she says, which is now not very often, it's just absolute rubbish
GroundEffect said:
so called said:
I'm an Application Marketing Engineer, on the North American market.
You're a what?In my work, there's no one that's annoying apart from one guy that goes out of his way to be semi-standoffish/'funny' and no one really gets on with him. He's had some hard time at home recently but by God is getting any info from him tedious.
Advise on product expansion for new markets, get involved in safety committee's etc.
My boss always introduces me as the Companies 'Global Marketing Engineer'.
I don't care what they call me as long as they pay me
smithyithy said:
I'm struggling to pick just one...
Me too!anonymous said:
[redacted]
I work for a global financial services company. We're owned by a German organisation. You wouldn't believe the number of "Doctors" we have at work. My MD has a PhD in physics! I get on his good side by politely calling him Herr Doktor. It works in my favour! EVERY one of my colleagues, sorry, staff, has at least 1 Uni degree (bachelors), many have a masters too (MA, MSc, MBA, etc.). What the degree is in nowadays is largely irrelevant. There's a greater focus on the fact someone's studied and studied well for a 1st class degree, rather than the subject matter.
Edited by 5potTurbo on Tuesday 13th October 08:35
Dr Jekyll said:
I worked with someone on an oil refinery project who insisted they were 'a piping expert'. What?
piping is an absolute ballache.i used to design pipeline repair tools ( pipe is leaking but we cant stop the flow) for oil installations. there is literally pipework everywhere.
the guys that design these systems and work out how to run fresh water/ sea water / drilling water/ drill mud//power/comms/production fluid / cooling/ firewater... all together in a confined space, are highly skilled professionals.
experts they are and deservedly so.
Captain Benzo said:
Dr Jekyll said:
I worked with someone on an oil refinery project who insisted they were 'a piping expert'. What?
piping is an absolute ballache.i used to design pipeline repair tools ( pipe is leaking but we cant stop the flow) for oil installations. there is literally pipework everywhere.
the guys that design these systems and work out how to run fresh water/ sea water / drilling water/ drill mud//power/comms/production fluid / cooling/ firewater... all together in a confined space, are highly skilled professionals.
experts they are and deservedly so.
CoolHands said:
I've got one that occasionally speaks in a northern yorkshire manner. As in "yeah it were only two year ago we did it like that" like he's a f
king farmer or summink. I keep expecting to see a piece of straw sticking out his gob.
Seriously. You grew up in west london suburbs.
That made me laugh. As a Yorkshireman. Really you have a London bloke pretending to be a northerner. king farmer or summink. I keep expecting to see a piece of straw sticking out his gob.Seriously. You grew up in west london suburbs.
Thought it was white kids on sink London estates pretending to be from Jamaica.
Indian sniffer bloke.
We have two Indian fellas working in our office from an offshore supplier. The subordinate guy is very nice, has gone out of his way to fit in, everyone generally likes him. His boss is an arrogant fknut who sits there sniffing all day, churning out lies about how they are (not) performing on on myriad spreadsheets.
I read that it is is because Indians feel that blowing their nose in public is dirty. This fella just sits there sniffing a load of snot, all day, every day. we're not even into cold season yet!!
He's a few days away from me passive-aggresively leaving a box of mansize Kleenex on his desk with a Post-It note saying "use these".
We have two Indian fellas working in our office from an offshore supplier. The subordinate guy is very nice, has gone out of his way to fit in, everyone generally likes him. His boss is an arrogant f
knut who sits there sniffing all day, churning out lies about how they are (not) performing on on myriad spreadsheets. I read that it is is because Indians feel that blowing their nose in public is dirty. This fella just sits there sniffing a load of snot, all day, every day. we're not even into cold season yet!!
He's a few days away from me passive-aggresively leaving a box of mansize Kleenex on his desk with a Post-It note saying "use these".
Out of 20 - 30 colleagues, I enjoy working with around 3 or 4 of them.
The rest are lazy, inconsiderate, bhy, snide, backstabbers, uninteresting, talk about each other and moan, usually to me because I don't pass it on.
There are quite a few of them that pull you up on something you've missed but can't understand that you missed said activity because you were busy doing the majority of their workload on top of your own because they missed it or happen to be lazy/dis-organised.
Several years of this has successfully ground my positive and chirpy outlook into one of depression and hatred of work. So has going bald. All my fault of course.
The rest are lazy, inconsiderate, b
hy, snide, backstabbers, uninteresting, talk about each other and moan, usually to me because I don't pass it on. There are quite a few of them that pull you up on something you've missed but can't understand that you missed said activity because you were busy doing the majority of their workload on top of your own because they missed it or happen to be lazy/dis-organised.
Several years of this has successfully ground my positive and chirpy outlook into one of depression and hatred of work. So has going bald. All my fault of course.
The noisy eater. It's like being in a zoo. He never takes lunch so just nibbles nuts and fruit pretty much every hour. I dropped some subtle hints and I think he may have got the gist of it because he mentioned that his wife says he knaws like an animal as well! He also used to come over and take over my keyboard - Him: "can I show you this?" "oh you don't want me to explain then?". Me: "No - I'm busy. Leave me alone."
Edited by fido on Tuesday 13th October 15:04
The guy who asks the same question over and over again.
Has used a piece of software for the last 10 years yet still asks the 18 year old Apprentice how to do the most simple of tasks.
Takes 2 hours to do a task the 18 year old Apprentice does in 30 mins.
Denies moving files when you know he has. Then 10 mins later proudly announces he's found it in some obscure folder.
Denies deleting files when you know he has (good job you know to always have an up to date copy on your desktop)
And finally is a higher Grade then you are!
Has used a piece of software for the last 10 years yet still asks the 18 year old Apprentice how to do the most simple of tasks.
Takes 2 hours to do a task the 18 year old Apprentice does in 30 mins.
Denies moving files when you know he has. Then 10 mins later proudly announces he's found it in some obscure folder.
Denies deleting files when you know he has (good job you know to always have an up to date copy on your desktop)
And finally is a higher Grade then you are!
You guys have no idea.
If I were to write out this guys issues I'd burst a blood vessel.
Extreme jobsworth* with a napoleon complex and I'm sure he has a couple of other extreme psychological problems if this guy has a family in his basement I wouldn't be shocked
When I say jobsworth if doesn't quite get close to how to describe this guy, problem is he makes rules up as he goes along and his way is the only way. He spends 90%of his time sending emails and avoiding work while causing more work for everybody else.
He also schemes and hold grudges on an industrial scale. Little things like long phone calls talking like st to people then sending a polite email designed to get a response to which he bccs people and forwards the responses to personnel. He even tries to lose contracts in other peoples territories of people he doesn't like and goes out of his way to piss off customers in his own territory. He talks to customers so badly in the history of our company he is the only one who customers of million pound contracts have asked that he be removed because they can't deal with him.
He has got two people sacked and others on warnings. People have gone off with stress or left reporting him as the reason on top of all that he is literally incompetent. He constantly makes mistakes yet won't acknowledge it but lives, LIVES to find the tiniest fault so he can email the world. Yet when you explain the reasons and that it wasn't actually a mistake it's too late the whole world knows you've fked up*
One comment thinking out loud about something you are doing and sorting within his earshot results in 2 days of emails and phone calls to fking directors or customers to make him look busy and in the end what you were doing and would have finished in 10 minutes was correct anyway.
He's caught git me in the st a few times by making up orders from above which then dropped me in it and turns out he just made it up.
How is he still working is a mystery I often wonder about, how he got promoted is gobsmacking.
If I were to write out this guys issues I'd burst a blood vessel.
Extreme jobsworth* with a napoleon complex and I'm sure he has a couple of other extreme psychological problems if this guy has a family in his basement I wouldn't be shocked
When I say jobsworth if doesn't quite get close to how to describe this guy, problem is he makes rules up as he goes along and his way is the only way. He spends 90%of his time sending emails and avoiding work while causing more work for everybody else.
He also schemes and hold grudges on an industrial scale. Little things like long phone calls talking like s
t to people then sending a polite email designed to get a response to which he bccs people and forwards the responses to personnel. He even tries to lose contracts in other peoples territories of people he doesn't like and goes out of his way to piss off customers in his own territory. He talks to customers so badly in the history of our company he is the only one who customers of million pound contracts have asked that he be removed because they can't deal with him.He has got two people sacked and others on warnings. People have gone off with stress or left reporting him as the reason on top of all that he is literally incompetent. He constantly makes mistakes yet won't acknowledge it but lives, LIVES to find the tiniest fault so he can email the world. Yet when you explain the reasons and that it wasn't actually a mistake it's too late the whole world knows you've f
ked up* One comment thinking out loud about something you are doing and sorting within his earshot results in 2 days of emails and phone calls to f
king directors or customers to make him look busy and in the end what you were doing and would have finished in 10 minutes was correct anyway. He's caught git me in the s
t a few times by making up orders from above which then dropped me in it and turns out he just made it up.How is he still working is a mystery I often wonder about, how he got promoted is gobsmacking.
Edited by Pesty on Tuesday 13th October 20:07
Brave Fart said:
There's a guy in my office who's a really hardworking, nice fella with a great sense of humour...........BUT he sniffs loudly, literally every 32.6 seconds. Yes I have timed it. It's metronomic; after a while you find yourself waiting for the next one, you can't do any work. Sometimes I find myself sniffing along with him too. I have tried to raise this with comments like "Do you think you're allergic to anything in this office [HINT fkING HINT]?" but it sails over his head.
Oddly, when he is on the 'phone it stops. One day I will lose it and scream "why the fk don't you just blow your fking nose which I suggest you do before I punch it through the back of your fking head you otherwise reasonable and sensible employee you?!" Plus he supports Southampton, which hardly helps, does it?
In my last job I had a bloke who was exactly the same apart from it being more of a pig type snort. kING HINT]?" but it sails over his head.Oddly, when he is on the 'phone it stops. One day I will lose it and scream "why the f
k don't you just blow your fking nose which I suggest you do before I punch it through the back of your fking head you otherwise reasonable and sensible employee you?!" Plus he supports Southampton, which hardly helps, does it?He was a real nice bloke but despite that the 8 ish years I sat in a office with him I wanted to punch the living daylights out of his fecking hooter.
What I really dreamed about was having a tv quiz show type button on my desk.
1 x sniff / grunt = 1 x button press resulting in a rather large electric shock.
Im 100% certain id kill it or cure it
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I frikkin hate that. I have the equivalent with one of my builders who does it... "right, now, I've done that, I've got that, I've got this, I need to go over there and build a wall.. oh, just cut up that piece of timber then fit the frame." Shuuuuuut uuuuuup.
We have a guy who meddles in everything.
He complains that he doesn't have the time to do his work, which is often responded to by pointing out that if he just focused on his work alone that he'd be home on time every day.
I still rate "the meddler" as far more annoying than the self proclaimed expert in everything, who on a good day achieves very little at best.
He complains that he doesn't have the time to do his work, which is often responded to by pointing out that if he just focused on his work alone that he'd be home on time every day.
I still rate "the meddler" as far more annoying than the self proclaimed expert in everything, who on a good day achieves very little at best.
parakitaMol. said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I frikkin hate that. I have the equivalent with one of my builders who does it... "right, now, I've done that, I've got that, I've got this, I need to go over there and build a wall.. oh, just cut up that piece of timber then fit the frame." Shuuuuuut uuuuuup.
I put it down to insecurity.
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