Bloody offshore scumbag cold callers!!!!!!
Discussion
My mate told me he had one of these calls a few months ago. At the very beginning, he told the caller than he knew it was a scam - and since he wasn't busy at the time, then had a conversation with the caller about why they do it.
He said it was a fairly calm and civil conversation - the explanation was that we are "rich westerners" and "can afford to lose it" - which of course isn't always true.
He said it was a fairly calm and civil conversation - the explanation was that we are "rich westerners" and "can afford to lose it" - which of course isn't always true.
I like the Microsoft ones. I string them along, feigning distress that my computer has a virus.
At a suitable point I say I can't find a certain key on the keyboard and ask is it next to the one with the Apple logo on it?
Sometimes takes them a few goes before it clicks for them.
They then get a lecture from me in terms of how can they live with themselves trying to con old ladies etc...
w
kers.
At a suitable point I say I can't find a certain key on the keyboard and ask is it next to the one with the Apple logo on it?
Sometimes takes them a few goes before it clicks for them.
They then get a lecture from me in terms of how can they live with themselves trying to con old ladies etc...
w
kers. 
We're getting bombarded at work at the moment. 2 types of call - ones that hang up a second after you answer, and others from an Accident Helpline. 30-40 calls a day from each of these and they're all from withheld or unknown numbers so we can't block them.
I've tried being polite, but I'm starting to dream up ever more elaborate ways of slowly killing them to death.
K
I've tried being polite, but I'm starting to dream up ever more elaborate ways of slowly killing them to death.
K
I always make a point of winding these people up and wasting their time. Cracks my kids right up.
One guy I just said 'wibble' to whatever he asked..this went on for about 20 minutes with me saying it in a variety of amusing voices. He hung up...then called back 2 minutes later for another ten minutes wibbling :-),
Another got a little confused when I asked for a loan of 600 million dollars and put me through to someone 'who can deal with that', asked why I wanted 600 million dollars I said I wanted to buy some tanks to invade Cuba and if they weren't doing anything next Wednesday would they consider joining up and helping the western world rid itself of communism?
I'm, going to play the tourettes card to the next one, I'm happy to talk to you but I have tourettes so as long as that's ok and you're aware....then I'm just going to swear at and abuse them until they hang up :-)
One guy I just said 'wibble' to whatever he asked..this went on for about 20 minutes with me saying it in a variety of amusing voices. He hung up...then called back 2 minutes later for another ten minutes wibbling :-),
Another got a little confused when I asked for a loan of 600 million dollars and put me through to someone 'who can deal with that', asked why I wanted 600 million dollars I said I wanted to buy some tanks to invade Cuba and if they weren't doing anything next Wednesday would they consider joining up and helping the western world rid itself of communism?
I'm, going to play the tourettes card to the next one, I'm happy to talk to you but I have tourettes so as long as that's ok and you're aware....then I'm just going to swear at and abuse them until they hang up :-)
Hard-Drive said:
I'm getting seriously fked off with offshore cold callers. I work from home a lot, and have had these persistent scumbags calling me about 5 times a day. The number is 0203154841.
They are clearly fraudulent scumbags, it's always the same number but on one call it's allegedly Nationwide, then it's BT, then it's Consumer UK. Obviously being offshore, TPS won't work, and telling them not to call back as I will not speak to them is pointless. As is calling them scumbag pieces of fking st who should just fk off, and when they've finished fking off they should fking well fk off over there instead before fking off a bit more for good fking measure and NEVER EVER fkING CALL ME EVER fkING AGAIN YOU fkING fk!
As someone with a career in sales I suppose I've nothing against the odd honest cold caller who doesn't lie about their name or why they are calling, and who removes me from lists if I ask. But with these aholes I really, really want to hear in the news that their fraudulent fking call centre has been accidentally hit by slightly off course ship full of Aliens, hopefully followed by some really angry, hungry Predators too!
Virgin Media who I am with do not have any kind of call barring feature...who does these days? Looks like Sky has a "ban the last number who called" PIN enabled feature...does it actually work?
I work from home a lot and feel your pain. However I've found this works a treat: just say can you hold on for a minute? I'll put you on hold and be back soon. Then I play Eric Cartman (South Park cartoon) signing "In the Ghetto" on repeat down the phone. Once had someone hold for a whole 20 mins too... they never call back.ked off with offshore cold callers. I work from home a lot, and have had these persistent scumbags calling me about 5 times a day. The number is 0203154841.They are clearly fraudulent scumbags, it's always the same number but on one call it's allegedly Nationwide, then it's BT, then it's Consumer UK. Obviously being offshore, TPS won't work, and telling them not to call back as I will not speak to them is pointless. As is calling them scumbag pieces of f
king st who should just fk off, and when they've finished fking off they should fking well fk off over there instead before fking off a bit more for good fking measure and NEVER EVER fkING CALL ME EVER fkING AGAIN YOU fkING fk!As someone with a career in sales I suppose I've nothing against the odd honest cold caller who doesn't lie about their name or why they are calling, and who removes me from lists if I ask. But with these a
holes I really, really want to hear in the news that their fraudulent fking call centre has been accidentally hit by slightly off course ship full of Aliens, hopefully followed by some really angry, hungry Predators too!Virgin Media who I am with do not have any kind of call barring feature...who does these days? Looks like Sky has a "ban the last number who called" PIN enabled feature...does it actually work?
mr_spock said:
Just had another "tech support" one. I told him I had one hand so all the keys were in different places. After about 10 minutes of wasting his time, I asked him how long the scam was going on. He went quiet, then said:
"What?"
"How long is this scam going one? You're going to ask me to run some software to get remote control of my computer, then you're going for my bank details"
He lost it - called me an effing ahole twice, then said I should take his dick in my mouth (what?) and called me an ahole again. I asked him if his supervisor reviewed the call recordings, and he hung up.
Wish I'd recorded it, I feel quite proud.
I think I really angered one on a couple of occasions, the abuse was comical. He must have been having a really bad day as he actully rang back twice to continue the tirade."What?"
"How long is this scam going one? You're going to ask me to run some software to get remote control of my computer, then you're going for my bank details"
He lost it - called me an effing a
hole twice, then said I should take his dick in my mouth (what?) and called me an ahole again. I asked him if his supervisor reviewed the call recordings, and he hung up.Wish I'd recorded it, I feel quite proud.
Maybe when I pressed ctrl R or whatever and spelled out that it said "f
k off you " very slowly it got to him.The second one (not as angry) was most perturbed when he kept telling me to press the ctrl key in the bottom left and I kept saying it had fn on it. Took him a while to work out.
Have had one that actually passed me through to his boss as he thought I was genuine. I got to the point where his finger must have been hovering over the "deplete account" button, made some sounds like Clunk from catch the pigeon and hung up.
I should really get a blocker.
Rawwr said:
"Our records show you were involved in an accident in the last three years, is that correct?"
"Yes, I got your mum pregnant."
If that doesn't make them hang up then telling them you just need to answer the door and you'll be back in a second... before putting the phone on speaker and putting on a very loud porn video can pass the time.
Read this from Rawwr earlier and just had a call about "my accident" from a lass in India so tried a version on her. Told her I'd got her mum pregnant, she asked how and I told her "'cos she wouldn't let me stuff it up her tea towel holder". She was not impressed and burst into tears and hung up. Must admit I felt a bit guilty at insulting her. Only a bit though"Yes, I got your mum pregnant."
If that doesn't make them hang up then telling them you just need to answer the door and you'll be back in a second... before putting the phone on speaker and putting on a very loud porn video can pass the time.
Ive had loads recently
im on the tps, but they withhold the no. and ring,
now i dont answer they have taken to writing to me,
so i emailed them saying further correspondence will result in a civil case for harassment
im going to have a laugh with them now rather than get worked up
its bloody infuriating though i must say
im on the tps, but they withhold the no. and ring,
now i dont answer they have taken to writing to me,
so i emailed them saying further correspondence will result in a civil case for harassment
im going to have a laugh with them now rather than get worked up
its bloody infuriating though i must say
I had the problems on your PC call once, I tried telling the guy I didn't own a computer but he just kept asking me to turn it on. I put him "on hold" and played some awful music down the phone for several minutes and surprisingly he stayed on the line.
I found an article online where some guy played along and let them control his computer, to see what they would do. After he refused to enter his paypal details the caller started deleting important files (e.g. network adapter) before he managed to disconnect him.
I found an article online where some guy played along and let them control his computer, to see what they would do. After he refused to enter his paypal details the caller started deleting important files (e.g. network adapter) before he managed to disconnect him.
L4CON said:
I had the problems on your PC call once, I tried telling the guy I didn't own a computer but he just kept asking me to turn it on. I put him "on hold" and played some awful music down the phone for several minutes and surprisingly he stayed on the line.
I found an article online where some guy played along and let them control his computer, to see what they would do. After he refused to enter his paypal details the caller started deleting important files (e.g. network adapter) before he managed to disconnect him.
I've seen the video of this, was the bloke who ownes/runs Malwarebytes and he let them loose on a Virtual PC. Was quite amusing. Last time I played along with one for a good 5min. I "Went to the web address" in my browser (googled it) and when asked what it said I told her "No connection available" and that I had no ISP at the address. That ended quickly I found an article online where some guy played along and let them control his computer, to see what they would do. After he refused to enter his paypal details the caller started deleting important files (e.g. network adapter) before he managed to disconnect him.
Got one of those 'accident' calls the other day
Asked if it was the one where I lost an arm?
Got a yes
Then followed it with
And I get 4k for that?
Yes, can you tell me what happened?
Well it was a really nasty one,I was on my bike and went under a lorry
Oh,were you off work for long?
Still am,I was also decapitated
Does it affect your work?
Yes, I can't talk
When do you expect to return to work?
Not for a while, how much do I get for being dead
Well, I think you might get...... Did you say you were decapitated?
Yes
OMG!
I am Thinking up other injuries
Asked if it was the one where I lost an arm?
Got a yes
Then followed it with
And I get 4k for that?
Yes, can you tell me what happened?
Well it was a really nasty one,I was on my bike and went under a lorry
Oh,were you off work for long?
Still am,I was also decapitated
Does it affect your work?
Yes, I can't talk
When do you expect to return to work?
Not for a while, how much do I get for being dead
Well, I think you might get...... Did you say you were decapitated?
Yes
OMG!
I am Thinking up other injuries
mr_spock said:
I forgot to mention the "microsoft" one last week - I put him on speaker and my wife and I had a massive shouting match about her watching porn and getting my laptop infected 
Indian bloke kept trying to stick to the script. Every time he tried, we shouted some more.
No you didn't. It's further up the page.Indian bloke kept trying to stick to the script. Every time he tried, we shouted some more.
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