Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
JustinF said:
silverfoxcc said:
I hope the mods dont go all puritanical on this but they do look like a family of asreholes
Here's Mum, Dad and the little s
ts.reminds me that last year my daughter's gerbil got loose and i accidentally killed it with the strimmer in the garden. bit messy but he had a burial for it and did all the right things, you know teaching the little ones about death and all that and we planted a flower so we would msrk the spot. in the spring a beautiful flower emerged and my mate saw it and commented how well it looked and how I did it. its simple i said
tulips from hamster jam
Two blondes, Trisha and Robin decided to rob a bank together.
The first blonde, Trisha plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Robin, in great detail.
The robbery begins.
Trisha drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Robin, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," said Robin.
Robin goes in the bank while Trisha waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes . . .
Two minutes pass . . .
Seven minutes pass . . . and Trisha is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open!
And here comes Robin. She's got a
safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time
she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.
The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.
As the gals are getting away, Trisha says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"
Robin said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot," said Trish. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"
The first blonde, Trisha plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Robin, in great detail.
The robbery begins.
Trisha drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Robin, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," said Robin.
Robin goes in the bank while Trisha waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes . . .
Two minutes pass . . .
Seven minutes pass . . . and Trisha is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open!
And here comes Robin. She's got a
safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time
she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.
The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.
As the gals are getting away, Trisha says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"
Robin said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot," said Trish. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"
Vipers said:
After a severe earthquake in Dublin, Ireland, rescuers were searching the rubble of a collapsed city centre hotel, when they heard a faint Irish voice shout "Help....! Fecking help me...!!!"
The rescuers shouted "Where are you..? "
Paddy shouts "I'm in room 236"
I laughed at that more than I should have The rescuers shouted "Where are you..? "
Paddy shouts "I'm in room 236"
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