Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[MartG]

[Vipers]

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great... I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

[Einion Yrth]

Vipers said:

I googled, it's true.

It was only built very recently, it's entirely deliberate.

[Laurel Green]

Two days old but has to be said; the Duck ducks out.

[Escapegoat]

Laurel Green said:

Two days old but has to be said; the Duck ducks out.

Do you mean two days and a whole year old?

[Laurel Green]

Escapegoat said:

Do you mean two days and a whole year old?

Bollo*! Bloody Beeb.

[Vipers]

Einion Yrth said:

Vipers said:

I googled, it's true.

It was only built very recently, it's entirely deliberate.

Of course it was, but what a good sense of humour. In my local shopping precinct there is a pictogram of exclusions.

Apart from dogs (except blind dogs), and smoking with the appropriate symbol, there is a pictogram of a dinosaur with the banned slash through and it says alongside "Except blind dinosaurs"

[ChemicalChaos]

"It's pronounced Bouquet"

[schmunk]

ChemicalChaos said:

"It's pronounced Bouquet"

That's one for the teeth itch thread - why are the Narcissi plural whilst the others aren't?

[Vipers]

[Doofus]

Vipers said:

I used to get really irritated by the smilies you put at the end of your posts, vipers. Now I realise you're just trying to be helpful by telling us when to laugh, because it isn't always obvious from the 'jokes' you post.

[MartG]

I went for a testicle check up last week. The little Thai nurse cupped my balls and said, "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get an erection during this procedure." I said, "I haven't got an erection." She said "No, but I have."

[Escapegoat]

Doofus said:

I used to get really irritated by the smilies you put at the end of your posts, vipers. Now I realise you're just trying to be helpful by telling us when to laugh, because it isn't always obvious from the 'jokes' you post.

Coffee, meet keyboard.

[Hugo a Gogo]

schmunk said:

ChemicalChaos said:

"It's pronounced Bouquet"

That's one for the teeth itch thread - why are the Narcissi plural whilst the others aren't?

when did daffs become narcissi anyway?

[PoleDriver]

Hugo a Gogo said:

when did daffs become narcissi anyway?

When they looked in a mirror!

[Laurel Green]

PoleDriver said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

when did daffs become narcissi anyway?

When they looked in a mirror!

[PoleDriver]

Laurel Green said:

[Hugo a Gogo]

not so fast, it was a pool of water - withdraw that

[PoleDriver]

Pedant!

[Vipers]

Doofus said:

I used to get really irritated by the smilies you put at the end of your posts, vipers. Now I realise you're just trying to be helpful by telling us when to laugh, because it isn't always obvious from the 'jokes' you post.

Well thank you, remember, I am but the messenger.