Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

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Laurel Green

30,770 posts

231 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
Vipers said:
Meanwhile........

When Britain went decimal they should have called a pound a "Mullard"

Then ten bob would had been "Half a Mullard"




smile
One for the 'older' PH members I suspect. biggrin

Gargamel

14,957 posts

260 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all

I knew a girl from slough once, who claimed she had sex with 'Afur berkshire.

I never did meet him


K12beano

20,854 posts

274 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
Did you vote to pull out?









Said the actress to the bishop

SeeFive

8,280 posts

232 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
In a similar vein.

There was a multi-faith convention scheduled to discuss acceptable methods of contraception, but the Catholics decided to pull out at the last minute.

PoleDriver

28,614 posts

193 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
I think it's time some of the above punsters were put out to grass!

PoleDriver

28,614 posts

193 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
Vipers said:
Laurel Green said:
Vipers said:
Meanwhile........

When Britain went decimal they should have called a pound a "Mullard"

Then ten bob would had been "Half a Mullard"




smile
One for the 'older' PH members I suspect. biggrin
Indeed, it will be wasted on so many.
Yus my dear!

K12beano

20,854 posts

274 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
I see the Eagles have landed....


Well, along with a couple of dozen others - I never knew there were so many in the Shadows.....

mickk

28,769 posts

241 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
PoleDriver said:
I think it's time some of the above punsters were put out to grass!
Good point.

size

88 posts

151 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
mickk said:
PoleDriver said:
I think it's time some of the above punsters were put out to grass!
Good point.
Love juice.

koenig d

127 posts

179 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
Two watches stolen from high street jewels.
Police are looking for Arther Ousbrick

PoleDriver

28,614 posts

193 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
size said:
mickk said:
PoleDriver said:
I think it's time some of the above punsters were put out to grass!
Good point.
Love juice.
How do you remove the stains?

chedder

1,329 posts

206 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
A guy decides to have a party where his guests are asked to come as
different emotions e.g. fear etc. On the night of the party, the
first guest arrives and the host opens the door to see a guy covered
in green paint with the letters N and V painted on his chest. He
says to this guy, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come
as?" And the guy says," I'm green with NV". The host replies,
"Brilliant, come on in and have a drink."

A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the
door to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather
boa wrapped around her most intimate parts. He says to this woman
"Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you Come as?" She replies,
"I'm tickled pink." The host says, "I love it, come on in and join
the party."

A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time, the
host opens the door to see two Irish blokes, Paddy and Murphy,
standing stark naked one with his knob in a bowl of custard, and the
other with his knob stuck in a pear. The host is really shocked and
says, "Well, what the heck are you doing? You could get arrested
standing out there in the street like that. Anyhow what emotion is
this supposed to be?!?!" Paddy replies, "Well, Oim fokn discustard,
and Murphy here has just come in dispair."

kowalski655

14,599 posts

142 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
What have Leave/Remain* voters got in common with the England football team?

They both can't put a cross into a box properly.

*delete according to preference

driverrob

4,687 posts

202 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
chedder said:
A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time, the
host opens the door to see two Irish blokes, Paddy and Murphy,
standing stark naked one with his knob in a bowl of custard, and the
other with his knob stuck in a pear. The host is really shocked and
says, "Well, what the heck are you doing? You could get arrested
standing out there in the street like that. Anyhow what emotion is
this supposed to be?!?!" Paddy replies, "Well, Oim fokn discustard,
and Murphy here has just come in dispair."
That was new to me in about 1960 but I expect it's new to someone now smile

fatboy18

18,930 posts

210 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
kowalski655 said:
What have Leave/Remain* voters got in common with the England football team?

They both can't put a cross into a box properly.

*delete according to preference
hehe

MartG

20,619 posts

203 months

Monday 27th June 2016
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Mart-1

441 posts

199 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
Monkeylegend said:
My next door neighbour is in trouble with the police. He hit the vicar over the head with a bottle of domestos at Sunday service today and has been charged with a bleach of the priest.
I sniggered

I've a meeting with a vicar on Wednesday and might tell him this one to break the ice

fatboy18

18,930 posts

210 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
MartG said:
Brilliant rofl

Kenty

5,029 posts

174 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
Only England can leave Europe twice in one week.

Laurel Green

30,770 posts

231 months

Monday 27th June 2016
quotequote all
fatboy18 said:
MartG said:
Brilliant rofl
Have another rofl
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