Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
PoleDriver said:
Doofus said:
Yes. You are looking at Eire, and the USA is to the left of the picture. If you were Eire, you'd be in the picture looking out, and the USA would be on your right.
Only if you were facing South! 
Edited by illmonkey on Thursday 19th January 14:35
illmonkey said:
He means ACTUALLY Eire, as in, not on it, but it. So technically, Poley, you mean face down in the water. Doofy is assuming you're floating on your back. And we all know what they say about assumptions, don't we children.
Well given Eire is apparently talking to us, I'd be surprised if he had his back to us, as all the Irish people I've met have been very polite.Apart from that one chap that time. But I was a bit pissed and probably shouldn't have been where I was anyway...
Doofus said:
illmonkey said:
He means ACTUALLY Eire, as in, not on it, but it. So technically, Poley, you mean face down in the water. Doofy is assuming you're floating on your back. And we all know what they say about assumptions, don't we children.
Well given Eire is apparently talking to us, I'd be surprised if he had his back to us, as all the Irish people I've met have been very polite.Apart from that one chap that time. But I was a bit pissed and probably shouldn't have been where I was anyway...
Edited by illmonkey on Thursday 19th January 14:41
Right... You've asked for it now!
A policeman knocked at my door last night and said, “Sorry for troubling you sir, but can we have a quick word?”
I said, “Supersonic?”
I joined the Tourettes Society. It took them 3 weeks to swear me in.
Did you hear about the dog that was also a magician?
It was a Labracadabrador
I said to my mate....
"My wife keeps asking me if I'm an Alice in Wonderland character, and it's getting very annoying."
"Are you mad at her?" He said.
"Don't you start!" I replied.
My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...
I had to put my foot down.
I've Just Ordered The Personal Number Plate BAA BAA.
Should Look Cool On My Black Jeep..
I heard a woman singing ''Do- Re- Mi..
I thought, she'll go far..
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday........those were the days!
It must stink having Barack Obama’s initials
My dad used to keep racing pigeons, he never ever beat one.
My wife left home last week dressed in a thin paper dress.
Can anyone help trace her?
Germaine Greer is opinionated, but not as much as her more aggressive sister Anne...
Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. or is this one of Granny's myths?
A policeman knocked at my door last night and said, “Sorry for troubling you sir, but can we have a quick word?”
I said, “Supersonic?”
I joined the Tourettes Society. It took them 3 weeks to swear me in.
Did you hear about the dog that was also a magician?
It was a Labracadabrador
I said to my mate....
"My wife keeps asking me if I'm an Alice in Wonderland character, and it's getting very annoying."
"Are you mad at her?" He said.
"Don't you start!" I replied.
My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...
I had to put my foot down.
I've Just Ordered The Personal Number Plate BAA BAA.
Should Look Cool On My Black Jeep..
I heard a woman singing ''Do- Re- Mi..
I thought, she'll go far..
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday........those were the days!
It must stink having Barack Obama’s initials
My dad used to keep racing pigeons, he never ever beat one.
My wife left home last week dressed in a thin paper dress.
Can anyone help trace her?
Germaine Greer is opinionated, but not as much as her more aggressive sister Anne...
Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. or is this one of Granny's myths?
peter tdci said:
Didn't she once say that women cricketers did wear them for protection, but referred to them as 'manhole covers'?
No, that was David Gower ( he of the silver acrylic wig ) on an episode of "They think it's all over!" We were all in shock when he came out with that scurrilous quote.
glenrobbo said:
peter tdci said:
Didn't she once say that women cricketers did wear them for protection, but referred to them as 'manhole covers'?
No, that was David Gower ( he of the silver acrylic wig ) on an episode of "They think it's all over!" We were all in shock when he came out with that scurrilous quote.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff