Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
Vipers said:
Escapegoat said:
JustinF said:
Media reports that people in Dubai don't understand the Flintstone's are wrong.
I know for a fact the people in Abu Dhabi do.
Abu Dhabi isn't in Dubai. I know for a fact the people in Abu Dhabi do.
(anyone for kitten liver?)
The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones - but the people of Abu Dhabi do!
Edited by Vipers on Saturday 23 April 21:02
(anyone for kitten gall bladder?)
Escapegoat said:
Vipers said:
Escapegoat said:
JustinF said:
Media reports that people in Dubai don't understand the Flintstone's are wrong.
I know for a fact the people in Abu Dhabi do.
Abu Dhabi isn't in Dubai. I know for a fact the people in Abu Dhabi do.
(anyone for kitten liver?)
The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones - but the people of Abu Dhabi do!
Edited by Vipers on Saturday 23 April 21:02
(anyone for kitten gall bladder?)
Escapegoat - you're reading in to it a logical progression which isn't actually there.
Spleen!
schmunk said:
Escapegoat said:
Vipers said:
Escapegoat said:
JustinF said:
Media reports that people in Dubai don't understand the Flintstone's are wrong.
I know for a fact the people in Abu Dhabi do.
Abu Dhabi isn't in Dubai. I know for a fact the people in Abu Dhabi do.
(anyone for kitten liver?)
The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones - but the people of Abu Dhabi do!
Edited by Vipers on Saturday 23 April 21:02
(anyone for kitten gall bladder?)
Escapegoat - you're reading in to it a logical progression which isn't actually there.
Spleen!
I believe that when I first heard it, it was more like......
Surveys have shown that the people of Dubai don't like the Flintstones, whereas their neighbours in Abu Dhabi do.
RJO said:
There's more than one way to skin a cat....
I believe that when I first heard it, it was more like......
Surveys have shown that the people of Dubai don't like the Flintstones, whereas their neighbours in Abu Dhabi do.
That's a bit technical, sounds like the version for the residence of Knightsbridge where sex is what you put coal in I believe that when I first heard it, it was more like......
Surveys have shown that the people of Dubai don't like the Flintstones, whereas their neighbours in Abu Dhabi do.
You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young woman's surgery.
"But", she asked, "how long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye.
The girl was alarmed. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out".
"But", she asked, "how long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye.
The girl was alarmed. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out".
Laurel Green said:
You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young woman's surgery.
"But", she asked, "how long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye.
The girl was alarmed. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out".
Was her name Linda "But", she asked, "how long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye.
The girl was alarmed. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out".
A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Sam looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the Farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Sam.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.
Then Sam says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Member of the European Parliament", says Sam.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered Sam. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.
You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.
This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Sam looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the Farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Sam.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.
Then Sam says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Member of the European Parliament", says Sam.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered Sam. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.
You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.
This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.
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