Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
The father of 5 children won a toy at a raffle. He called his together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.
"Who never talks back to mother?" he asked.
"Who does everything she says?" he asked.
Five small voices answered in unison "Okay dad, you get the toy".
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.
"Who never talks back to mother?" he asked.
"Who does everything she says?" he asked.
Five small voices answered in unison "Okay dad, you get the toy".
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.
She explained, “I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today.”
The first student raised her hand to volunteer. “Marcy,” the teacher said. “You may go first.”
Marcy replied, “My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny.”
The teacher said, “Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?”
Kevin stood up and announced, “My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie.”
“Very good,” the teacher told Kevin. Jeff was next, and he said, “My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no…”
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on Little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, “My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell “accountant.”
john2443 said:
Woman walks into a pub full of Millwall fans and started mouthing off about how crap Millwall are.
One bloke decides that even though she's a woman she deserves a thumping, pulls back his arm and aims a huge punch at her chin.
She feinted.
(Sorry!)
And that was when the fight ended!One bloke decides that even though she's a woman she deserves a thumping, pulls back his arm and aims a huge punch at her chin.
She feinted.
(Sorry!)
k did you just say?!?"
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff