Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
Husband says to his wife,
"Just take a look at the size of the poo I have just done in the bathroom"
"No thanks" she replied
"Go on, you wont believe it" he said
She took a deep breath, held her nose, ran in then back out.
"There's nothing there" she said, "you've flushed it"
"Didn't you look on the scales?"
"Just take a look at the size of the poo I have just done in the bathroom"
"No thanks" she replied
"Go on, you wont believe it" he said
She took a deep breath, held her nose, ran in then back out.
"There's nothing there" she said, "you've flushed it"
"Didn't you look on the scales?"
king idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy.
An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son.
"Don’t be nervous, son, just do your best and remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."
"Don’t be nervous, son, just do your best and remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."
Vipers said:
An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son.
"Don’t be nervous, son, just do your best and remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."
Reminds me of a couple of stories a friend who is a consultant anaesthetist tells (both supposedly true)."Don’t be nervous, son, just do your best and remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."
He was once threatened by a patient that if anything went wrong, he'd not only sue but that he'd have his mates break his legs.
"Well, in that case, if something goes wrong I'll make sure that you don't wake up."
He was asked by a very wealthy (but stingy) private patient for a discount on his normal fee for an operation.
"Sure. I do three things for you in the operation. I put you to sleep, I keep you asleep and I wake you up. Which would you like me to miss out?"
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