Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[fatboy18]

Chunkymonkey71 said:

Three women go for an interview for a barmaid job. All are asked the same question: 'a regular leaves £20 on the bar. What do you do?

First one: I'd put it away and give him it back next time he was in.

Second one: I'd put it in the charity tin.

Third one: I'd just pocket it.

Q: Who got the job?


























A: The one with the biggest tits.

[MartG]

[Evangelion]

As Churchill once said, "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

[MartG]

Bobby Charlton was asked how he thought the England team of '66 would have fared against Iceland.

" I think we'd have won 1-0 " he replied.

"Only 1-0?" Said the reporter.

"Yes," said Bobby. "Most of us are in our 70's now!"

[Laurel Green]

[mickk]

I had to tell my patient that I'd made a terrible mistake and messed up his plastic surgery.




I'll never forget that look on his elbow.

[EarlOfHazard]

mickk said:

I had to tell my patient that I'd made a terrible mistake and messed up his plastic surgery.




I'll never forget that look on his elbow.

[jet_noise]

Still having problems with my eyes. I thought l just read that Eddie the Eagle was challenging Corbyn for leadership. Good for him l thought.

[MartG]

Even Windows ask if you're really sure...

[McAndy]

mickk said:

I had to tell my patient that I'd made a terrible mistake and messed up his plastic surgery.




I'll never forget that look on his elbow.

[Hugo a Gogo]

I was just offered a new job as a nursery rhyme cow

I'm over the moon

[K12beano]

Borexit

[marshalla]

It's so embarrassing when you can't get your johnson to stand when it's expected.

[Nom de ploom]

very good. topical. and funny.

[Nom de ploom]

marshalla said:

It's so embarrassing when you can't get your johnson to stand when it's expected.

Borimpotence?

[Dakkon]

Boris has just pulled out, the same thing his dad should have done 52 years ago

[mybrainhurts]

Evangelion said:

As Churchill once said, "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

This is the joke thread...

HTH.

[PoleDriver]

mybrainhurts said:

Evangelion said:

As Churchill once said, "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

This is the joke thread...

HTH.

I laughed...
HTH.

[K12beano]

PoleDriver said:

mybrainhurts said:

Evangelion said:

As Churchill once said, "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

This is the joke thread...

HTH.

I laughed...
HTH.

I laughed - I don't really think that dog can talk!

HTH

[Fer]

K12beano said:

PoleDriver said:

mybrainhurts said:

Evangelion said:

As Churchill once said, "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

This is the joke thread...

HTH.

I laughed...
HTH.

I laughed - I don't really think that dog can talk!

HTH

Oh Yes.