Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[glenrobbo]

Here's one that the younger ones may not have heard:


Q. What is the most common British owl?



























A. The Teat.

[driverrob]

Jos Notstoppen said:

How do you spot a happy motorcyclist?








The dead flys on his teeth

[fatboy18]

Looks like the price of Kebabs is about to go up

Turkey is having a coo!

[Laurel Green]

fatboy18 said:

Looks like the price of Kebabs is about to go up

Turkey is having a coo!

I thought it was pigeons that cooed.

[driverrob]

fatboy18 said:

Looks like the price of Kebabs is about to go up

Turkey is having a coo!

Pigeons coo. Turkeys go 'gobble gobble" (apparently)

[EarlOfHazard]

[MartG]

It's madness I tell you....

[Vitorio]

driverrob said:

Pigeons coo. Turkeys go 'gobble gobble" (apparently)

What noise do parrots make?

[PoleDriver]

Vitorio said:

driverrob said:

Pigeons coo. Turkeys go 'gobble gobble" (apparently)

What noise do parrots make?

Squawk?

[davhill]

PoleDriver said:

Squawk?

Naw, they go "Pieces of eight."

[davhill]

MartG said:

It's madness I tell you....

[fatboy18]

driverrob said:

fatboy18 said:

Looks like the price of Kebabs is about to go up

Turkey is having a coo!

Pigeons coo. Turkeys go 'gobble gobble" (apparently)

Did you read that on Twitter?

[jbudgie]

davhill said:

MartG said:

It's madness I tell you....

Great.

[Vipers]

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,'

'What did he say,' asked the nurse.

'Oops!'

[JustinF]

Angela Merkel recently arrived in Athens Airport.

'Nationality?' asked the immigration officer.

'German' She replied

'Occupation?'

'No just here for a few days'

[pherlopolus]

She there again?

[MartG]

Fred found a shell upon the beach
He put it to his ear
It was an unexploded German one
Now Fred's no longer here

[Allyc85]

When i have sex, I'll wear an Arsenal shirt.

So I don't finish first.

[MartG]

[MartG]