Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[fatboy18]

[LeeThr]

Vitorio said:

Vaud said:

Because you are a sado-masochist who can't afford a Mac?

Well, you are right about not being able to afford a mac

That said, ive worked with a MBP for nine months, first thing i'd do with a mac of my own is install linux

And when the majority of OSX is based on Unix. You're effectively overpaying for an Intel CPU in a fancy case.

[Fluffsri]

LeeThr said:

Vitorio said:

Vaud said:

Because you are a sado-masochist who can't afford a Mac?

Well, you are right about not being able to afford a mac

That said, ive worked with a MBP for nine months, first thing i'd do with a mac of my own is install linux

And when the majority of OSX is based on Unix. You're effectively overpaying for an Intel CPU in a fancy case.

Thats hilarious! Best joke ever

[Vaud]

LeeThr said:

And when the majority of OSX is based on Unix. You're effectively overpaying for an Intel CPU in a fancy case.

"Badoom" - and dare I add a "tschhh"

Seriously though, what's the punchline?

[Laurel Green]

Have a joke-->

Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?"

"I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."

"That's not going to work."

"Why not?"

"Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."

[lionelf]

Laurel Green said:

Have a joke-->

Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?"

"I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."

"That's not going to work."

"Why not?"

"Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."

and its about to be stolen, sorry.

[MartG]

Bob and his wife were on their way to the airport and passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding a can of beer.

Bob's wife glanced up at it and announced, "I suppose if I drank a six-pack of that brand, I'd look like her."

"No," Bob corrected, "If I drank a six-pack, you'd look like her."

[MartG]

The Vatican City were due to enter this year's Eurovision Song Contest with the track "(I can't get no) contraception", but the Pope advised them to pull out at the last moment.

[Laurel Green]

It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue.
Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the coffee shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it." Bobby is shocked. "Excuse me, sir?" "Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her."

Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she's ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"

[schmunk]

[Vitorio]

LeeThr said:

And when the majority of OSX is based on Unix. You're effectively overpaying for an Intel CPU in a fancy case.

Agreed, but that fancy case is pretty nice i have to admit

Id never buy one though, for exactly that reason, i only care about the hardware, and it isnt THAT good

[Corpulent Tosser]

Vitorio said:

LeeThr said:

And when the majority of OSX is based on Unix. You're effectively overpaying for an Intel CPU in a fancy case.

Agreed, but that fancy case is pretty nice i have to admit

Id never buy one though, for exactly that reason, i only care about the hardware, and it isnt THAT good

I`m just not getting these jokes at all

[Fluffsri]

Corpulent Tosser said:

Vitorio said:

LeeThr said:

And when the majority of OSX is based on Unix. You're effectively overpaying for an Intel CPU in a fancy case.

Agreed, but that fancy case is pretty nice i have to admit

Id never buy one though, for exactly that reason, i only care about the hardware, and it isnt THAT good

I`m just not getting these jokes at all

I think the people here would find it funny

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/forum.asp?h=0&a...

[fatboy18]

Corpulent Tosser said:

Vitorio said:

LeeThr said:

And when the majority of OSX is based on Unix. You're effectively overpaying for an Intel CPU in a fancy case.

Agreed, but that fancy case is pretty nice i have to admit

Id never buy one though, for exactly that reason, i only care about the hardware, and it isnt THAT good

I`m just not getting these jokes at all

Neither am I, Its all Geek to me!

[kowalski655]

Laurel Green said:

It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue.
Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the coffee shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it." Bobby is shocked. "Excuse me, sir?" "Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her."

Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she's ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"

Also great how Peggy Sue invented the Twist 2 years early!

[Kenty]

A 60yr old Billionaire marries a real hot 25year old,
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, the billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts... "I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips the billionaire responds "85 years old"

[Adenauer]

Kenty said:

A 60yr old Billionaire marries a real hot 25year old,
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, the billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts... "I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips the billionaire responds "85 years old"

Clever

[fatboy18]

[mickk]

The Sun's out and my missus is wearing a skirt where you can just see a cheeky bit of her arse.

I wouldn't mind so much but the skirt is knee length.

[MartG]

mickk said:

The Sun's out and my missus is wearing a skirt where you can just see a cheeky bit of her arse.

I wouldn't mind so much but the skirt is knee length.