Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
V8A*ndy said:
Monkeylegend said:
K12beano said:
LordGrover said:
K12beano said:
fatboy18 said:
He's 'IN THE HOLE'
I'm obviously a bit green, but what are you on about....He Said She Said.
He said. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said. You wear pants don't you?
He said. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said. That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said. Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said. I would but you're never there.
He said. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said. They don't have time
He said. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said. We don't know; it has never happened.
She said. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said. A widow.
He said. Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
He said. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said. You wear pants don't you?
He said. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said. That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said. Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said. I would but you're never there.
He said. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said. They don't have time
He said. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said. We don't know; it has never happened.
She said. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said. A widow.
He said. Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
V6Pushfit said:
V8A*ndy said:
Monkeylegend said:
K12beano said:
LordGrover said:
K12beano said:
fatboy18 said:
He's 'IN THE HOLE'
I'm obviously a bit green, but what are you on about....V8A*ndy said:
V6Pushfit said:
V8A*ndy said:
Monkeylegend said:
K12beano said:
LordGrover said:
K12beano said:
fatboy18 said:
He's 'IN THE HOLE'
I'm obviously a bit green, but what are you on about....PoleDriver said:
V8A*ndy said:
V6Pushfit said:
V8A*ndy said:
Monkeylegend said:
K12beano said:
LordGrover said:
K12beano said:
fatboy18 said:
He's 'IN THE HOLE'
I'm obviously a bit green, but what are you on about....Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the Molonglo River. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'On the other side of the river near the Parliament car park in Canberra.
'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?' asked the big Croc.
'Well, I crawl up under one of their big Lexus, BMW or Mercedes cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the s
t out of them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not
getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the st out of a Politician, there's nothing much left but an ahole with a briefcase
'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'On the other side of the river near the Parliament car park in Canberra.
'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?' asked the big Croc.
'Well, I crawl up under one of their big Lexus, BMW or Mercedes cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the s
t out of them and eat 'em!''Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not
getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the s
t out of a Politician, there's nothing much left but an ahole with a briefcaseGassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff