Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
A young lady heavily pregnant with triplets goes into a bank. Suddenly an armed robber appears, and in the process of loading cash into the bag, his gun goes off, tragically shooting her in the stomache.
On recovering from surgery in hospital the consultant says, great news, you are going to be fine, and all your babies are fine too, except each one still has some lead from the shotgun inside them. But don't worry it is likely it will pass naturally.
Her daughter at age six, runs into the bedroom, Mummy Mummy, I really hurt when I went for a pee, and I found this metal lump in the toilet. Her mum sighs and explains about the shotgun.
Her second daughter at age 12 runs in and says, I just found this metal lump when I had my period. Her mum sighs and explains about the shotgun.
At 14 her only son runs in and shouts Mum, Mum - I've just had a w
k and shot the cat. 
COL!MartG said:
My grandfather died of asbestosis - took 3 weeks to cremate him....
That is truly awful and I'm going to drop it into conversations when I need to make people feel awkward. A bit like when people are joking about the Second World War, you say:"Actually, I don't find that particularly funny. My grandad died in one of the Nazi prison camps."
... appropriate pause...
"He fell off a guard tower"
Usget said:
MartG said:
My grandfather died of asbestosis - took 3 weeks to cremate him....
That is truly awful and I'm going to drop it into conversations when I need to make people feel awkward. A bit like when people are joking about the Second World War, you say:"Actually, I don't find that particularly funny. My grandad died in one of the Nazi prison camps."
... appropriate pause...
"He fell off a guard tower"
My grandfather was treated disgracefully in Germany during the war.
He was passed over for promotion twice.
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