Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
K12beano said:
kowalski655 said:
Halmyre said:
When I heard it, it was "In The Mood" that they were condemned to play, which is arguably much worse than "Close To You", whose one saving grace is KC's voice.
Besides, Karen was no slouch as a drummer and might have enjoyed a good jam session.
Better if she enjoyed a good jam sandwichBesides, Karen was no slouch as a drummer and might have enjoyed a good jam session.
Two Indian doctors talking discreetly at the bedside of an expectant mother.
Doc 1: It's whooooom!
Doc 2: No it's whoooooooomb!!!
Doc 1: No no no, it sounds more like whooooooombbbb!!!!
Mother: Couldn't help hearing your discussion. It's actually 'womb', W.O.M.B
Docs politely: Oh. Thank you
Docs walk away.
Doc 1 to Doc 2: Daft woman. I bet she's never even seen a water buffalo let alone hear one fart underwater.
Doc 1: It's whooooom!
Doc 2: No it's whoooooooomb!!!
Doc 1: No no no, it sounds more like whooooooombbbb!!!!
Mother: Couldn't help hearing your discussion. It's actually 'womb', W.O.M.B
Docs politely: Oh. Thank you
Docs walk away.
Doc 1 to Doc 2: Daft woman. I bet she's never even seen a water buffalo let alone hear one fart underwater.
K12beano said:
kowalski655 said:
Halmyre said:
When I heard it, it was "In The Mood" that they were condemned to play, which is arguably much worse than "Close To You", whose one saving grace is KC's voice.
Besides, Karen was no slouch as a drummer and might have enjoyed a good jam session.
Better if she enjoyed a good jam sandwichBesides, Karen was no slouch as a drummer and might have enjoyed a good jam session.
k all,as he is still aliveMorningside said:
The Ors said:
schmunk said:
MartG said:
"Thora Hird - she's just moved into the village'
(I know I did!)
As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me.
My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.
"Why don't you get a better phone, mate?" he asked.
"I don't need one." I replied. "My phone does everything that I need and it's better than yours."
He burst out laughing again. "Better than mine?" he roared. "Mine has 3G, Wi-Fi, the iMessage service, a best-in-class browser, five megapixel camera, access to the App Store for virtually unlimited customisation plus a built-in iPod for all my music. If yours is better than mine, I'll give you my phone."
"I don't want your phone." I said, "Mine's the best, why would I want a second-best, second-hand phone?
I tell you what, though, if I can prove that mine is better than yours, how about you give me the cash equivalent of your phone?"
"You're on!" he crowed. "Show me something with your phone and I'll show you how mine is better."
Casually, I knocked my phone off the table.
My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.
"Why don't you get a better phone, mate?" he asked.
"I don't need one." I replied. "My phone does everything that I need and it's better than yours."
He burst out laughing again. "Better than mine?" he roared. "Mine has 3G, Wi-Fi, the iMessage service, a best-in-class browser, five megapixel camera, access to the App Store for virtually unlimited customisation plus a built-in iPod for all my music. If yours is better than mine, I'll give you my phone."
"I don't want your phone." I said, "Mine's the best, why would I want a second-best, second-hand phone?
I tell you what, though, if I can prove that mine is better than yours, how about you give me the cash equivalent of your phone?"
"You're on!" he crowed. "Show me something with your phone and I'll show you how mine is better."
Casually, I knocked my phone off the table.
MartG said:
As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me.
My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.
"Why don't you get a better phone, mate?" he asked.
"I don't need one." I replied. "My phone does everything that I need and it's better than yours."
He burst out laughing again. "Better than mine?" he roared. "Mine has 3G, Wi-Fi, the iMessage service, a best-in-class browser, five megapixel camera, access to the App Store for virtually unlimited customisation plus a built-in iPod for all my music. If yours is better than mine, I'll give you my phone."
"I don't want your phone." I said, "Mine's the best, why would I want a second-best, second-hand phone?
I tell you what, though, if I can prove that mine is better than yours, how about you give me the cash equivalent of your phone?"
"You're on!" he crowed. "Show me something with your phone and I'll show you how mine is better."
Casually, I knocked my phone off the table.
Is the punchline missing?My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.
"Why don't you get a better phone, mate?" he asked.
"I don't need one." I replied. "My phone does everything that I need and it's better than yours."
He burst out laughing again. "Better than mine?" he roared. "Mine has 3G, Wi-Fi, the iMessage service, a best-in-class browser, five megapixel camera, access to the App Store for virtually unlimited customisation plus a built-in iPod for all my music. If yours is better than mine, I'll give you my phone."
"I don't want your phone." I said, "Mine's the best, why would I want a second-best, second-hand phone?
I tell you what, though, if I can prove that mine is better than yours, how about you give me the cash equivalent of your phone?"
"You're on!" he crowed. "Show me something with your phone and I'll show you how mine is better."
Casually, I knocked my phone off the table.
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