Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[glenrobbo]

Fluffsri said:

Thank you for the education, Ive also found the correct spelling of peedo

Would it by any chance be "pædo"?

[glenrobbo]

schmunk said:

Fluffsri said:

have no idea what a Poedo is lol.

Quite long, side parting, scruffy...

I thought a Poedo was scarier than that:

[Fluffsri]

glenrobbo said:

Fluffsri said:

Thank you for the education, Ive also found the correct spelling of peedo

Would it by any chance be "pædo"?

Yep, definitely not the same as the US version though

[K12beano]

Fluffsri said:

Yep, definitely not the same as the US version though

That's short for "Pilsbury Dough" isn't it?

[glenrobbo]

K12beano said:

Fluffsri said:

Yep, definitely not the same as the US version though

That's short for "Pilsbury Dough" isn't it?

Yep:

The P-dough boy!

[anonymous-user]

In fact derived from the US troops in WW1. But that's not important right now.

[K12beano]

We're waiting patiently to find out whether there's life on another planet in the solar system.

It's suspected to be a sheep.

In fact it will be a Mars Baa

[Lordbenny]

Le TVR said:

How do you milk sheep?

Release a new iphone.

Err, I don't get it.....apart from the fact that people buying iPhones are like sheep in that they all buy them when it comes out but shirley that cant be the joke can it?

[bridgland]

Lordbenny said:

Le TVR said:

How do you milk sheep?

Release a new iphone.

Err, I don't get it.....apart from the fact that people buying iPhones are like sheep in that they all buy them when it comes out but shirley that cant be the joke can it?

Whoosh on a cat!

[BryanC]

glenrobbo said:

A woman smiled at me and said she liked double entendres, so I gave her one.

Like you, I avoid sexual innuendo in conversation but I occasionally like to slip one in.

[bridgland]

BryanC said:

glenrobbo said:

A woman smiled at me and said she liked double entendres, so I gave her one.

Like you, I avoid sexual innuendo in conversation but I occasionally like to slip one in.

I was asked if I could give an example of one, but I found it rather hard.

[MartG]

[Lordbenny]

bridgland said:

Lordbenny said:

Le TVR said:

How do you milk sheep?

Release a new iphone.

Err, I don't get it.....apart from the fact that people buying iPhones are like sheep in that they all buy them when it comes out but shirley that cant be the joke can it?

Whoosh on a cat!

Come on explain please!

[glenrobbo]

When we've run out of kittens do we start dissecting the lemmings?

[Lordbenny]

Lordbenny said:

bridgland said:

Lordbenny said:

Le TVR said:

How do you milk sheep?

Release a new iphone.

Err, I don't get it.....apart from the fact that people buying iPhones are like sheep in that they all buy them when it comes out but shirley that cant be the joke can it?

Whoosh on a cat!

Come on explain please!

Blimey, I've never been given a whoosh parrot before but I think I was nearly right all along. Apple has released a phone that doesn't have a headphone socket so they are charging people (the 'sheep) to pay (the 'milk) for an adapter....is that it? If it is, it may be clever but......it just ain't funny...IMO obviously!

[Ari]

Headphone adaptor is in the box with the phone.

[glenrobbo]

Don't try this at home folks....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5tqH-Un9SFU

[Skyrat]

A scientist presents a dog to a conference room full of colleagues, claiming he's taught the dog Morse code. There are snorts of derision and laughter until someone shouts "Ok, prove it!"

The dog walks over to the desk and, with his paw, taps out "dit dah dah, dah dah dah, dah dah dah, dit dit dah dit".

There's stunned silence until one of them asks "So what did he say?

The scientist replies, "Woof!"

[schmunk]

Lordbenny said:

Lordbenny said:

bridgland said:

Lordbenny said:

Le TVR said:

How do you milk sheep?

Release a new iphone.

Err, I don't get it.....apart from the fact that people buying iPhones are like sheep in that they all buy them when it comes out but shirley that cant be the joke can it?

Whoosh on a cat!

Come on explain please!

Blimey, I've never been given a whoosh parrot before but I think I was nearly right all along. Apple has released a phone that doesn't have a headphone socket so they are charging people (the 'sheep) to pay (the 'milk) for an adapter....is that it? If it is, it may be clever but......it just ain't funny...IMO obviously!

Which did you go for, 7 or 7 Plus?

[Evangelion]

Skyrat said:

A scientist presents a dog to a conference room full of colleagues, claiming he's taught the dog Morse code. There are snorts of derision and laughter until someone shouts "Ok, prove it!"

The dog walks over to the desk and, with his paw, taps out "dit dah dah, dah dah dah, dah dah dah, dit dit dah dit".

There's stunned silence until one of them asks "So what did he say?

The scientist replies, "Woof!"

I would respectfully suggest that only the first two lines of that joke are necessary.

The second two fall into the 'never heard the shot/when the fight started' category.