Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[B'stard Child]

Laurel Green said:

PoleDriver said:

In an attempt not to end this in a Viperistic manner...
I went out shopping the other day and SWMBO gave me £50 and told me to spend it on something to make her look sexy!
It's amazing how drunk you can get on £50!

Ace

[schmunk]

PoleDriver said:

In an attempt not to end this in a Viperistic manner...
I went out shopping the other day and SWMBO gave me £50 and told me to spend it on something to make her look sexy!
It's amazing how drunk you can get on £50!

He never heard [drank] the shot[s].

[K12beano]

It would have been Mr Roget's 238th Birthday.

He wrote the book that has nothing to do with dinosaurs although it sounds like one.

I'm really struggling to find the words to describe it......

[Vaud]

K12beano said:

It would have been Mr Roget's 238th Birthday.

He wrote the book that has nothing to do with dinosaurs although it sounds like one.

I'm really struggling to find the words to describe it......

Must not dissect joke, must not dissect...

[K12beano]

Vaud said:

Must not dissect joke, must not dissect...

Analyse, carve, cleave or cut???

[MDMA .]

I was thrown out the local swimming baths today. The ' S ' had fallen away from my Speedos.

[StevieBee]

Just seen a taxi driver fall out of a window at the Nakatomi Plaza. I think it was Hans Uber.

Edited by StevieBee on Wednesday 18th January 16:53

[PoleDriver]

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive then you should try swimming with sharks. Cost me a bloody arm and a leg.

[K12beano]

I'm surprised that no one's posted a joke about Rachael Heyhoe Flint yet.


I should have thought someone would have come up with something about at least one of those three.

[Gargamel]

K12beano said:

I'm surprised that no one's posted a joke about Rachael Heyhoe Flint yet.


I should have thought someone would have come up with something about at least one of those three.

Sorry you have completely stumped me there. Over to you.

[turbobloke]

Gargamel said:

K12beano said:

I'm surprised that no one's posted a joke about Rachael Heyhoe Flint yet.


I should have thought someone would have come up with something about at least one of those three.

Sorry you have completely stumped me there. Over to you.

I wasn't bowled over by it either, maybe we've both been caught out somehow.

[PoleDriver]

Owzat?

[fatboy18]

Boundaries being pushed again at PH Towers

[B'stard Child]

Stop it chaps it's really not cricket

[mickk]

K12beano said:

I'm surprised that no one's posted a joke about Rachael Heyhoe Flint yet.


I should have thought someone would have come up with something about at least one of those three.

Shame, but she did have a good innings.

[Halmyre]

K12beano said:

I'm surprised that no one's posted a joke about Rachael Heyhoe Flint yet.


I should have thought someone would have come up with something about at least one of those three.

Who she? Hang on while I Googlie for her.

[alfie2244]

Halmyre said:

K12beano said:

I'm surprised that no one's posted a joke about Rachael Heyhoe Flint yet.


I should have thought someone would have come up with something about at least one of those three.

Who she? Hang on while I Googlie for her.

She was a lovely maiden and liked playing with a new ball.

[Skyedriver]

You're all wicket

[PoleDriver]

Bails!

[twing]

Ashes to ashes