Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

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PoleDriver

28,616 posts

193 months

Friday 20th January 2017
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Don't worry, we'll be safe now!


Muntu

7,631 posts

198 months

Friday 20th January 2017
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Vipers

32,799 posts

227 months

Friday 20th January 2017
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Bought a record today, turned out to be cracked, ed ed ed ed ed ed ed

Skyrat

1,185 posts

189 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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A man climbs a hill with his son and as they look down on their town he tells his son a story.

Son, see those houses down there. I built every one of them with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the house builder? No.

That church there, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the church builder? No.

The city wall that keeps us all safe at night, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the wall builder? (he shakes his head) No.

But you shag one goat.....

Vipers

32,799 posts

227 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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Skyrat said:
A man climbs a hill with his son and as they look down on their town he tells his son a story.

Son, see those houses down there. I built every one of them with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the house builder? No.

That church there, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the church builder? No.

The city wall that keeps us all safe at night, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the wall builder? (he shakes his head) No.

But you shag one goat.....
Must be a Welsh joke biggrin

Laurel Green

30,770 posts

231 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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Vipers said:
Must be a Welsh joke biggrin
He was just kidding around.

K12beano

20,854 posts

274 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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ApOrbital

9,942 posts

117 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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Nope lost me on that one.

jbudgie

8,843 posts

211 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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Vipers said:
Skyrat said:
A man climbs a hill with his son and as they look down on their town he tells his son a story.

Son, see those houses down there. I built every one of them with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the house builder? No.

That church there, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the church builder? No.

The city wall that keeps us all safe at night, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the wall builder? (he shakes his head) No.

But you shag one goat.....
Must be a Welsh joke biggrin
No, a joke that has been seen on here many many times, many many times.
Spot the link there.

Skyrat

1,185 posts

189 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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jbudgie said:
Vipers said:
Skyrat said:
A man climbs a hill with his son and as they look down on their town he tells his son a story.

Son, see those houses down there. I built every one of them with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the house builder? No.

That church there, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the church builder? No.

The city wall that keeps us all safe at night, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the wall builder? (he shakes his head) No.

But you shag one goat.....
Must be a Welsh joke biggrin
No, a joke that has been seen on here many many times, many many times.
Spot the link there.
I don't have time to read all 8 volumes before posting, sorry tongue out

glenrobbo

35,078 posts

149 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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Vipers said:
Skyrat said:
A man climbs a hill with his son and as they look down on their town he tells his son a story.

Son, see those houses down there. I built every one of them with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the house builder? No.

That church there, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the church builder? No.

The city wall that keeps us all safe at night, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the wall builder? (he shakes his head) No.

But you shag one goat.....
Must be a Welsh joke biggrin
scratchchin No, it doesn't seem likely to be a Welsh joke. From the content, a town that has a city wall, a church built from bricks, and goats kept on the hillside overlooking the town built by the father who was tempted by bestiality, I get the impression that it is more likely to be a middle eastern country which had an orthodox christian faith, and probably set quite a long time ago. The name of the man has probably metamorphosed into Alan after multiple re-telling of the joke down through the ages, and so should not be relied upon as being accurate. Perhaps a corruption of Ah-dem?

K12beano

20,854 posts

274 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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glenrobbo said:
Vipers said:
Skyrat said:
A man climbs a hill with his son and as they look down on their town he tells his son a story.

Son, see those houses down there. I built every one of them with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the house builder? No.

That church there, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the church builder? No.

The city wall that keeps us all safe at night, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the wall builder? (he shakes his head) No.

But you shag one goat.....
Must be a Welsh joke biggrin
scratchchin No, it doesn't seem likely to be a Welsh joke. From the content, a town that has a city wall, a church built from bricks, and goats kept on the hillside overlooking the town built by the father who was tempted by bestiality, I get the impression that it is more likely to be a middle eastern country which had an orthodox christian faith, and probably set quite a long time ago. The name of the man has probably metamorphosed into Alan after multiple re-telling of the joke down through the ages, and so should not be relied upon as being accurate. Perhaps a corruption of Ah-dem?
Now, don't get me wrong, I have some empathy for the poor kittens.

But a goat?? Where are all the sheep? More importantly, no ambulances were harmed in the making of this story....




You 'tard....

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Saturday 21st January 2017
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I put this in the Jewish/traffic warden thread, but I guess it really ought to be here...

Right then...

Did you hear about the Catholic cobbler who mended the rabbi's shoes and proudly put up a sign, saying Paddy McMurphy, cobblers to the rabbi...

When the Jewish cobbler across the road saw it, he put up a sign saying Abel Schumann, bks to the Pope...

glenrobbo

35,078 posts

149 months

Sunday 22nd January 2017
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K12beano said:
ow, don't get me wrong, I have some empathy for the poor kittens.

But a goat?? Where are all the sheep? More importantly, no ambulances were harmed in the making of this story....




You 'tard....
There were no sheep mentioned in the joke, just a goat. It may have been a high class goat of high standing...


If it was a welsh joke, it would definitely have involved a sheep such as this delectable creature...


And it's ambiwlans you 'tard!

PoleDriver

28,616 posts

193 months

Sunday 22nd January 2017
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I hate it when they change the name of things for no good reason.
First marathon became snickers then opal fruits became starburst.
Now we have Anal bleaching, what was wrong with "changing your ring tone"?

twing

4,996 posts

130 months

Sunday 22nd January 2017
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PoleDriver said:
I hate it when they change the name of things for no good reason.
First marathon became snickers then opal fruits became starburst.
Now we have Anal bleaching, what was wrong with "changing your ring tone"?
That tickled me wink

AstonZagato

12,652 posts

209 months

Sunday 22nd January 2017
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twing said:
PoleDriver said:
I hate it when they change the name of things for no good reason.
First marathon became snickers then opal fruits became starburst.
Now we have Anal bleaching, what was wrong with "changing your ring tone"?
That tickled me wink
You probably left the peroxide on too long then.

glenrobbo

35,078 posts

149 months

Sunday 22nd January 2017
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AstonZagato said:
twing said:
PoleDriver said:
I hate it when they change the name of things for no good reason.
First marathon became snickers then opal fruits became starburst.
Now we have Anal bleaching, what was wrong with "changing your ring tone"?
That tickled me wink
You probably left the peroxide on too long then.
biggrin Nice one Poley.

I assumed it would sting rather than tickle.

PoleDriver

28,616 posts

193 months

Sunday 22nd January 2017
quotequote all
glenrobbo said:
AstonZagato said:
twing said:
PoleDriver said:
I hate it when they change the name of things for no good reason.
First marathon became snickers then opal fruits became starburst.
Now we have Anal bleaching, what was wrong with "changing your ring tone"?
That tickled me wink
You probably left the peroxide on too long then.
biggrin Nice one Poley.

I assumed it would sting rather than tickle.

CanAm

9,115 posts

271 months

Sunday 22nd January 2017
quotequote all
glenrobbo said:
Vipers said:
Skyrat said:
A man climbs a hill with his son and as they look down on their town he tells his son a story.

Son, see those houses down there. I built every one of them with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the house builder? No.

That church there, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the church builder? No.

The city wall that keeps us all safe at night, I built it brick by brick with my bare hands, but do the people call me Alan the wall builder? (he shakes his head) No.

But you shag one goat.....
Must be a Welsh joke biggrin
scratchchin No, it doesn't seem likely to be a Welsh joke. From the content, a town that has a city wall, a church built from bricks, and goats kept on the hillside overlooking the town built by the father who was tempted by bestiality, I get the impression that it is more likely to be a middle eastern country which had an orthodox christian faith, and probably set quite a long time ago. The name of the man has probably metamorphosed into Alan after multiple re-telling of the joke down through the ages, and so should not be relied upon as being accurate. Perhaps a corruption of Ah-dem?
It was Greek the last time I heard it.

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