Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[glenrobbo]

CanAm said:

It was Greek the last time I heard it.

I think it was originslly a Hittite joke, or it may have been from Antediluvian times. We may never know for certain.
We do know that it pre-dates Sean Connery's starring rôle in "The Lion and the Wind and the Wardrobe".

Edited by glenrobbo on Sunday 22 January 14:09

[Ayahuasca]

glenrobbo said:

CanAm said:

It was Greek the last time I heard it.

I think it was originslly a Hittite joke, or it may have been from Antediluvian times. We may never know for certain.
We do know that it pre-dates Sean Connery's starring rôle in "The Lion and the Wind and the Wardrobe".

Edited by glenrobbo on Sunday 22 January 14:09

Strange, the exact thing happened to Luigi, an Italian builder of some renown.

[PoleDriver]

SWMBO told me to go to the doctor's and ask for some of those pills to help me get an erection.
She didn't seem very pleased when I brought her back some diet pills?

[Laurel Green]

PoleDriver said:

SWMBO told me to go to the doctor's and ask for some of those pills to help me get an erection.
She didn't seem very pleased when I brought her back some diet pills?

[Monkeylegend]

Laurel Green said:

PoleDriver said:

SWMBO told me to go to the doctor's and ask for some of those pills to help me get an erection.
She didn't seem very pleased when I brought her back some diet pills?

Have another

[Hugo a Gogo]

mybrainhurts said:

I put this in the Jewish/traffic warden thread, but I guess it really ought to be here...

Right then...

Did you hear about the Catholic cobbler who mended the rabbi's shoes and proudly put up a sign, saying Paddy McMurphy, cobblers to the rabbi...

When the Jewish cobbler across the road saw it, he put up a sign saying Abel Schumann, bks to the Pope...

It's good but...
Wouldn't it work better if the Jewish bloke wasn't a cobbler too? Cos he wouldn't immediately think of 'cobblers' as an insult

[mybrainhurts]

Hugo a Gogo said:

mybrainhurts said:

I put this in the Jewish/traffic warden thread, but I guess it really ought to be here...

Right then...

Did you hear about the Catholic cobbler who mended the rabbi's shoes and proudly put up a sign, saying Paddy McMurphy, cobblers to the rabbi...

When the Jewish cobbler across the road saw it, he put up a sign saying Abel Schumann, bks to the Pope...

It's good but...
Wouldn't it work better if the Jewish bloke wasn't a cobbler too? Cos he wouldn't immediately think of 'cobblers' as an insult

It would, but this happened on Cobblers' Street, so it wouldn't work.

[Skyedriver]

K12beano said:

But a goat?? Where are all the sheep?

Goats are hornier



(Allegedly)

[mybrainhurts]

Skyedriver said:

K12beano said:

But a goat?? Where are all the sheep?

Goats are hornier

(Allegedly)

You've never been rammed, I can tell...

[SeeFive]

Monkeylegend said:

Laurel Green said:

PoleDriver said:

SWMBO told me to go to the doctor's and ask for some of those pills to help me get an erection.
She didn't seem very pleased when I brought her back some diet pills?

Have another

Just reported that to the missus in the first person, very personal like me to her. Anyone got a steak for my eye?

and a viagra for when she gets over the insult

[PoleDriver]

SeeFive said:

Just reported that to the missus in the first person, very personal like me to her. Anyone got a steak for my eye?

and a viagra for when she gets over the insult

Here you go!

[K12beano]

All the old dudes, boogaloo dudes, were they all doing a paper round?

[PoleDriver]

K12beano said:

All the old dudes, boogaloo dudes, were they all doing a paper round?

<rushes off to see if Ian Hunter has just died>

Phew!

[Halmyre]

From Can to Box...

[GAjon]

PoleDriver said:

K12beano said:

All the old dudes, boogaloo dudes, were they all doing a paper round?

<rushes off to see if Ian Hunter has just died>

Phew!

Pete Overend Watts.

[PoleDriver]

GAjon said:

Pete Overend Watts.

[Vipers]

If someone tries to shoot the President of the United States of America, will his bodyguards shout :-

"Donald Duck!"

Good job his wife's name isn't Eider

Edited by Vipers on Monday 23 January 10:33

[K12beano]

Vipers said:

If someone tries to shoot the President of the United States of America, will his bodyguards shout :-

"Donald Duck!"

In a parallel universe his brother Dont didn't fare so well...

[K12beano]

I think Trump's policies must be working.


I am already finding Americans grate again.

[louiebaby]

From FB, but new to here I think:

---

Much has and will be written about Donald Trump, and his presidency, but one thing is an absolute fact, whether you like the guy or not.

In just two DAYS of his presidency, he got more women out the house and walking than Michelle Obama did in two TERMS.