Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[mywifeshusband]

Au Revoir, Au Revoir.

[LemonParty]

mywifeshusband said:

Au Revoir, Au Revoir.

He should have listened very carefully....

[K12beano]

Oh 'eck!

[ApOrbital]

Ello ello

[john2443]

LemonParty said:

mywifeshusband said:

Au Revoir, Au Revoir.

He should have listened very carefully....

You should have said it only once.

[ApOrbital]

May he find eternal pleasure in the arms of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.

[DavieW]

ApOrbital said:

May he find eternal pleasure in the arms of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.

There are certainly worse places to be.

[PoleDriver]

We'll no longer be wondering what he is doing!

[Halmyre]

Was it a dicky ticker?

If poor Yvette needs comforting, I'm available.

[ChemicalChaos]

Halmyre said:

Was it a dicky ticker?

If poor Yvette needs comforting, I'm available.

Maria was always the better looking one

[Evangelion]

ChemicalChaos said:

Halmyre said:

Was it a dicky ticker?

If poor Yvette needs comforting, I'm available.

Maria was always the better looking one

Yes but she kept spitting at you. (No that's not a euphemism.)

[Bebee]

I ordered Octopus at my local restaurant, the waiter said 'it takes four hours to cook', I asked why so, he said, 'well we cook them but they keep turning the gas off'

[PoleDriver]

[spyder dryver]

Some people seem to regard Trump as an arse.
Others regard him as a cock.

I think he's somewhere in between.

Perry Kneeham

[General Price]

Hedgehogs.


Why won't they just share?

[Hugh Jarse]

Good mouarning

[ChemicalChaos]

Adding "ing" to the end of movie titles gives them interesting new plot twists.....

- Jurassic Parking: Against all odds, a T-Rex starts a valet service despite his inability to reach the steering wheel

- Dude, Where's My Caring?": A tale about this generation's apathetic response to almost everything

- Schindlers' Listing: His condo is for sale... this will be the open house of the century

- Ice Aging: The long-awaited sequel to "Paint "Drying"

- The Thinging - A girl fights to join the school choir, despite her lisp

- The Jungle Booking: tonight, the jungle is reserved for you

- The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttoning: 3 hours of a confused elderly man trying to fasten his cardigan

- Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stoning: A young boy in Iraq tries to save an athiest academic from execution

- Lord of the Ringing: A documentary on the arrest of a car-cloning criminal

[Evangelion]

- Minority Reporting: Politically correct journalism.

[JustinF]

ChemicalChaos said:

Adding "ing" to the end of movie titles gives them interesting new plot twists.....

- Jurassic Parking: Against all odds, a T-Rex starts a valet service despite his inability to reach the steering wheel

- Dude, Where's My Caring?": A tale about this generation's apathetic response to almost everything

- Schindlers' Listing: His condo is for sale... this will be the open house of the century

- Ice Aging: The long-awaited sequel to "Paint "Drying"

- The Thinging - A girl fights to join the school choir, despite her lisp

- The Jungle Booking: tonight, the jungle is reserved for you

- The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttoning: 3 hours of a confused elderly man trying to fasten his cardigan

- Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stoning: A young boy in Iraq tries to save an athiest academic from execution

- Lord of the Ringing: A documentary on the arrest of a car-cloning criminal

Like these, would be a good topic for Absolue Radio's at work time waster.

[General Price]

Die Harding - Nancy Kerrigan plots her revenge.