Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Muntu]

I watched Batman with a girl on our ninth date.

Our dating history has been dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman

[Muntu]

After watching the trailer for the upcoming film, my six year old son asked me

"How does superman fly?

"Better than he rides a horse."

[turbobloke]

Muntu said:

I watched Batman with a girl on our ninth date.

Our dating history has been dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman

[Vipers]

Muntu said:

After watching the trailer for the upcoming film, my six year old son asked me

"How does superman fly?

"Better than he rides a horse."

Ouch......

[Vipers]

I was at Tesco earlier when one of these new age protesters came up to me and showed me pictures of a chicken battery farm.

He said, "Who'd want to live or go in there?"

I said, "A fox".

[kowalski655]

Vipers said:

Muntu said:

After watching the trailer for the upcoming film, my six year old son asked me

"How does superman fly?

"Better than he rides a horse."

Ouch......

Took me a second, but "Ouch" inded

[PoleDriver]

I've just found out my dad played for West Ham in 1955!
Unfortunately my mum couldn't narrow it down any further.

[Vaud]

PoleDriver said:

I've just found out my dad played for West Ham in 1955!
Unfortunately my mum couldn't narrow it down any further.

An old one, but still funny.

[K12beano]

Nobody seems to have pointed out that last Saturday was, indeed, a Black Sabbath....

[StevieBee]

My obsession with magic has been getting the better of me and has started to affect my marriage.

My therapist suggested I write everything down in a letter to my wife but I just don't have the courage to pick up a Penn and Teller.

[McAndy]

StevieBee said:

My obsession with magic has been getting the better of me and has started to affect my marriage.

My therapist suggested I write everything down in a letter to my wife but I just don't have the courage to pick up a Penn and Teller.

Chuckle.

[JustinF]

[Dr Interceptor]

Just bought a 'low energy light bulb' at B&Q. Assistant asked "Will you be putting this up yourself?" I said No - Its going in the lounge!

[Veeayt]

Lesbian sex is like someone comes to besiege one ancient city's gates with the gates from another city.

[GAjon]

Veeayt said:

Lesbian sex is like someone comes to besiege one ancient city's gates with the gates from another city.

You've been watching the wrong films.

[northwest monkey]

Veeayt said:

Lesbian sex is like someone comes to besiege one ancient city's gates with the gates from another city.

Using your analogy, they used battering rams at the gates on a movie I've seen.

[ApOrbital]

Veeayt said:

Lesbian sex is like someone comes to besiege one ancient city's gates with the gates from another city.

Don't get that at all

[turbobloke]

ApOrbital said:

Veeayt said:

Lesbian sex is like someone comes to besiege one ancient city's gates with the gates from another city.

Don't get that at all

Really?!

OK, somebody is bound to come along with a key to unlock the dilemma

[Halmyre]

turbobloke said:

ApOrbital said:

Veeayt said:

Lesbian sex is like someone comes to besiege one ancient city's gates with the gates from another city.

Don't get that at all

Really?!

OK, somebody is bound to come along with a key to unlock the dilemma

A pair of scissors, surely? Or is it two pairs of scissors...

[turbobloke]

Halmyre said:

turbobloke said:

ApOrbital said:

Veeayt said:

Lesbian sex is like someone comes to besiege one ancient city's gates with the gates from another city.

Don't get that at all

Really?!

OK, somebody is bound to come along with a key to unlock the dilemma

A pair of scissors, surely? Or is it two pairs of scissors...

Liking that; not following the joke could be a grind.