Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
GET DOWN SHEP!My dog ran off yesterday. I walked round the park for fifteen minutes, calling his name, but he didn't come back, so I went home and told the bad news to my wife. She said that I obviously hadn't looked hard enough.
So I shaved my head, and drew a spider's web on my neck, but I still can't find the bloody dog!
So I shaved my head, and drew a spider's web on my neck, but I still can't find the bloody dog!
A jobless man applied for the job of "sweeper" at Microsoft.
The HR interviewed him..
Then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are Appointed" he said.
"Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the forms to fill in".
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."
"I'm sorry", said the HR manager...
"If you don't have an email, that means u do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all.
He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the supermarket & buy a 10 lb crate of tomatoes.
He then sold the tomatoes in a Door to Door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realised that he can survive this way, and started to go everyday earlier and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life Insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email."
The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!"
The man thought for a while and replied,
"Yes, I'd be an sweeper
The HR interviewed him..
Then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are Appointed" he said.
"Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the forms to fill in".
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."
"I'm sorry", said the HR manager...
"If you don't have an email, that means u do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all.
He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the supermarket & buy a 10 lb crate of tomatoes.
He then sold the tomatoes in a Door to Door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realised that he can survive this way, and started to go everyday earlier and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life Insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email."
The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!"
The man thought for a while and replied,
"Yes, I'd be an sweeper
Nooooooooooooooo...... me just messenger. 
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