Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Vipers]

twing said:

Tata Palmer-Tomkinson

Bloody hell, that was quick. Good as well.

[PoleDriver]

twing said:

Tata Palmer-Tomkinson

NOOoooooo!

[ApOrbital]

Vipers said:

twing said:

Tata Palmer-Tomkinson

Bloody hell, that was quick. Good as well.

It was on the news this afternoon you tard

[twing]

PoleDriver said:

NOOoooooo!

Came as a shock to her too, she thought she'd get to see Tamara

[mickk]

Clubbers in Leeds are using dental syringes to inject liquid Ecstacy directly into their mouths.


A dangerous process known as 'E by Gum'

[fatboy18]

mickk said:

Clubbers in Leeds are using dental syringes to inject liquid Ecstacy directly into their mouths.


A dangerous process known as 'E by Gum'

I believe Maynard's perfected it first!

[GAjon]

mickk said:

Clubbers in Leeds are using dental syringes to inject liquid Ecstacy directly into their mouths.


A dangerous process known as 'E by Gum'

Well if we're going so far back, police found two druggies behind our works one was drinking battery acid the other eating fireworks.

They charged the first but let the other one off.

[evil len]

It's Jamaican hair style day at work tomorrow. I'm already dreading it.

[mickk]

evil len said:

It's Jamaican hair style day at work tomorrow. I'm already dreading it.

It's no big ting.

[evil len]

I just bought a reversible jacket, I can't wait to try it on and see how it turns out.

I remember the day I bought my universal remote control. I thought "This changes everything".

[Monkeylegend]

I remember the day I bought my first violin. When I tried to play it made a terrible screeching noise. I thought "boy, this violin is highly strung."

[Dr Interceptor]

Got the missus a new bag and a new belt for Valentines Day.

She'll be made up!!

The hoover is as good as new

[Muntu]

I start my job at a restaurant tomorrow.

I can't wait

[Gargamel]

I had a job at a cured ham factory

It was really mellow, just sitting around smoking joints

[K12beano]

This just in - you couldn't make it up:

[McAndy]

If only that had been reported in the Daily Mail!

[Vipers]

Kate Moss and Jeremy Clarkson are at a celebrity do.

She says "I"m a model, what do you do?"

He replies "I do Top Gear."

She said "Wicked! I"ll have an eighth."

[Laurel Green]

[dartissimus]

The cannibal's son, he was ate before he was seven.

[PoleDriver]

Vipers said:

Kate Moss and Jeremy Clarkson are at a celebrity do.

She says "I"m a model, what do you do?"

He replies "I do Top Gear."

She said "Wicked! I"ll have an eighth."

There's absolutely no way on Earth that Kate Moss and Jeremy Clarkson wouldn't know who each other were!