Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
Maureen is getting married at the weekend and thought she would ask her friends what it was like on their wedding night.
Mandy said they made love 6 times.
Julie said they made love 4 or 5 times.
Rosine said they only made love once.
She said “Only once, what did you say to him in the morning”
“Get off”
Mandy said they made love 6 times.
Julie said they made love 4 or 5 times.
Rosine said they only made love once.
She said “Only once, what did you say to him in the morning”
“Get off”
glenrobbo said:
PoleDriver said:
I was arrested after the police caught me trying to steal a haystack.
I'm currently out on bale.
That's rather corny. I'm currently out on bale.
Any more of those Poley and I would've set my minder on to you:
Unfortunately he's no longer with us.
Monkeylegend said:
glenrobbo said:
PoleDriver said:
I was arrested after the police caught me trying to steal a haystack.
I'm currently out on bale.
That's rather corny. I'm currently out on bale.
Any more of those Poley and I would've set my minder on to you:
Unfortunately he's no longer with us.
PoleDriver said:
Monkeylegend said:
glenrobbo said:
PoleDriver said:
I was arrested after the police caught me trying to steal a haystack.
I'm currently out on bale.
That's rather corny. I'm currently out on bale.
Any more of those Poley and I would've set my minder on to you:
Unfortunately he's no longer with us.
"I'm sorry but I've had a better offer." I said to a stunning blonde in the bar.
"I ask you to buy me cocktails, take me home in a taxi and make love to me! What could be better than that?" she asked.
"See that fat girl over there?" I said. "She just wants a packet of crisps and lives round the corner."
"I ask you to buy me cocktails, take me home in a taxi and make love to me! What could be better than that?" she asked.
"See that fat girl over there?" I said. "She just wants a packet of crisps and lives round the corner."
Apologies if this offends any ducks! 
Three Little Ducks go into a Bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the Bartender asked the first Duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a Duck want"..?? said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second Duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from Duck number Two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey"..?? he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a Duck want" ..??
The bartender turned to the Third Duck and said, "So, you must be Louie"..??
"No," she said, batting her Eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
Edited for a couple of small 'P's
Three Little Ducks go into a Bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the Bartender asked the first Duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a Duck want"..?? said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second Duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from Duck number Two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey"..?? he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a Duck want" ..??
The bartender turned to the Third Duck and said, "So, you must be Louie"..??
"No," she said, batting her Eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
Edited for a couple of small 'P's
Edited by PoleDriver on Thursday 16th February 12:43
PoleDriver said:
Apologies if this offends any ducks!
Three Little Ducks go into a Bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the Bartender asked the first Duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of Puddles all day. What else could a Duck want"..?? said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second Duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from Duck number Two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey"..?? he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of Puddles all day myself. What else could a Duck want" ..??
The bartender turned to the Third Duck and said, "So, you must be Louie"..??
"No," she said, batting her Eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
I was about to rip in with a Three Little Ducks go into a Bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the Bartender asked the first Duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of Puddles all day. What else could a Duck want"..?? said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second Duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from Duck number Two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey"..?? he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of Puddles all day myself. What else could a Duck want" ..??
The bartender turned to the Third Duck and said, "So, you must be Louie"..??
"No," she said, batting her Eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis#Birds
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