Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
schmunk said:
I'll bet your search history is a scary place to visit!
schmunk said:
PoleDriver said:
Apologies if this offends any ducks! 
Three Little Ducks go into a Bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the Bartender asked the first Duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of Puddles all day. What else could a Duck want"..?? said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second Duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from Duck number Two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey"..?? he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of Puddles all day myself. What else could a Duck want" ..??
The bartender turned to the Third Duck and said, "So, you must be Louie"..??
"No," she said, batting her Eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
I was about to rip in with a Three Little Ducks go into a Bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the Bartender asked the first Duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of Puddles all day. What else could a Duck want"..?? said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second Duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from Duck number Two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey"..?? he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of Puddles all day myself. What else could a Duck want" ..??
The bartender turned to the Third Duck and said, "So, you must be Louie"..??
"No," she said, batting her Eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis#Birds
Hmmm....I'm a bit annoyed and thinking of phoning The Advertising Standards Agency
.
Just bought a new iron. Spent AGES choosing the right one, based on a balance of price, spec and what was shown on the TV advert.
So it turned up today, I thought "That box is nowhere near big enough, surely?"
So I open it up, and sure enough, the MILF wasn't inside!
I phoned Russel Hobbs and they told me you have to get a woman separately.
What's the flaming use in buying an iron if the woman isn't included?
What's the world coming to?
.
Just bought a new iron. Spent AGES choosing the right one, based on a balance of price, spec and what was shown on the TV advert.
So it turned up today, I thought "That box is nowhere near big enough, surely?"
So I open it up, and sure enough, the MILF wasn't inside!
I phoned Russel Hobbs and they told me you have to get a woman separately.
What's the flaming use in buying an iron if the woman isn't included?
What's the world coming to?
h email, AICM£5.
A Texans wife was having trouble conceiving, she visited her gynaecologist who told her she was fine, and to send her husband to his doctor for an examination.
So Billy Bob goes to see his doctor.
Later on in the day, she heard a knock on the front door, she opened the door and saw Billy Bob standing there.
He was wearing a pair of brand spanking new you can't bend it pair of cowboys boots.
He wore a new waist coat, and the most expensive Stetson she had ever seen.
She said "Golly Billy Bob what's happened"
He said "Well Mary Lou" that damm doctor examined me and said I was impotent, and by golly if I am impotent, I'll look impotent"
So Billy Bob goes to see his doctor.
Later on in the day, she heard a knock on the front door, she opened the door and saw Billy Bob standing there.
He was wearing a pair of brand spanking new you can't bend it pair of cowboys boots.
He wore a new waist coat, and the most expensive Stetson she had ever seen.
She said "Golly Billy Bob what's happened"
He said "Well Mary Lou" that damm doctor examined me and said I was impotent, and by golly if I am impotent, I'll look impotent"
Edited by Vipers on Thursday 16th February 18:46
Vipers said:
A Texans wife was having trouble conceiving, she visited her gynaecologist who told her she was fine, and to send her husband to his doctor for an examination.
So Billy Bob goes to see his doctor.
Later on in the day, she heard a knock on the front door, she opened the door and saw Billy Bob standing there.
He was wearing a pair of brand spanking new you can't bend it pair of cowboys boots.
He wore a new waist coat, and the most expensive Stetson she had ever seen.
She said "Golly Billy Bob what's happened"
He said "Well Mary Lou" that damm doctor examined me and said I was impotent, and by golly if I am impotent, I'll look impotent"
>>> Stetson's (sic) threadSo Billy Bob goes to see his doctor.
Later on in the day, she heard a knock on the front door, she opened the door and saw Billy Bob standing there.
He was wearing a pair of brand spanking new you can't bend it pair of cowboys boots.
He wore a new waist coat, and the most expensive Stetson she had ever seen.
She said "Golly Billy Bob what's happened"
He said "Well Mary Lou" that damm doctor examined me and said I was impotent, and by golly if I am impotent, I'll look impotent"
Edited by Vipers on Thursday 16th February 18:46
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