Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
A man went to the doctors.
"Doctor" he said "I have a very PAARP embarrassing problem PAARP. I have dreadful PAARP wind which I PAARP cannot control at all PAARP - I have PAARP tried everything, altering PAARP my diet, drinking less PAARP fizzy drinks, everything. PAARP. Please can you help PAAAAAAARRRRRRRP-RAAASSSSP-splutter!
The doctor said "just wait there a minute" and wandered off to the corner of the room. He came back with a 10 foot long x 2 inch thick wooden pole with a hook on the end.
The patient said somewhat panic stricken "What PAARP are you going to do with that?".
The doctor said, "Don't panic, I am just going to open a few f
king windows.".
"Doctor" he said "I have a very PAARP embarrassing problem PAARP. I have dreadful PAARP wind which I PAARP cannot control at all PAARP - I have PAARP tried everything, altering PAARP my diet, drinking less PAARP fizzy drinks, everything. PAARP. Please can you help PAAAAAAARRRRRRRP-RAAASSSSP-splutter!
The doctor said "just wait there a minute" and wandered off to the corner of the room. He came back with a 10 foot long x 2 inch thick wooden pole with a hook on the end.
The patient said somewhat panic stricken "What PAARP are you going to do with that?".
The doctor said, "Don't panic, I am just going to open a few f
king windows.".rev-erend said:
PR350 said:
I met the girl in the park on a cold dark night
There was an instant spark between us and she fell into my arms
We lay on the ground and made passionate love
I looked into her face and thought,
"God I love my new taser!"
Is that a joke or a confession There was an instant spark between us and she fell into my arms
We lay on the ground and made passionate love
I looked into her face and thought,
"God I love my new taser!"
havoc said:
I'm probably going to hell, but I laughed...and posted it on FB...good test to see how many friends have my sense of humour...
Funny I did the same and then saw your post - it's warm down there so at least we won't freeze our asses off and have to put up with all that wet cloud stuff like you do on a rally in walesVipers said:
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos, and some churchgoers give chips rather than cash when the basket is passed around.
Since the chips come from many different casinos, the church has devised a method of collecting the offerings.
The churches send all their chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and the chips are taken to the casino of origin to be cashed in.
This sorting in the monastery is done by the chip monks.
Don't give up your day job. Since the chips come from many different casinos, the church has devised a method of collecting the offerings.
The churches send all their chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and the chips are taken to the casino of origin to be cashed in.
This sorting in the monastery is done by the chip monks.
CanAm said:
Vipers said:
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos, and some churchgoers give chips rather than cash when the basket is passed around.
Since the chips come from many different casinos, the church has devised a method of collecting the offerings.
The churches send all their chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and the chips are taken to the casino of origin to be cashed in.
This sorting in the monastery is done by the chip monks.
Don't give up your day job. Since the chips come from many different casinos, the church has devised a method of collecting the offerings.
The churches send all their chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and the chips are taken to the casino of origin to be cashed in.
This sorting in the monastery is done by the chip monks.
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