Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Pistom]

Ayahuasca said:

sc0tt said:

MartG said:

B'stard Child said:

MartG said:

A Vodka manufacturer have just released an Oscar Pistorius advent calendar.

A shot behind every door...

Why Smirnoff?

Because listing every brand of liquor would spoil the joke

Fixed

It should be a vodka distiller, not manufacturer.

Isn't Diageo the distiller? Smirnoff is just the brand.

[AndyDubbya]

For the 7th year in a row, Rick Astley refuses to give his wife her favorite Pixar movie for Christmas.

[Shuvi McTupya]

AndyDubbya said:

For the 7th year in a row, Rick Astley refuses to give his wife her favorite Pixar movie for Christmas.

Took me a few seconds!

Like it

[Evangelion]

Shuvi McTupya said:

AndyDubbya said:

For the 7th year in a row, Rick Astley refuses to give his wife her favorite Pixar movie for Christmas.

Took me a few seconds!

Like it

I bet he didn't buy her a VW either.

[ApOrbital]

I don't get that one

[Doofus]

ApOrbital said:

I don't get that one

Don't lose any sleep over it...

[MartG]

Tampax have announced that they will be replacing their traditional tampon string with tinsel.
This will be for the Christmas Period only

[Nimby]

ApOrbital said:

I don't get that one

You give up too easily.

[glenrobbo]

Nimby said:

You give up too easily.

Never!

[MartG]

[silverfoxcc]

Doofus said:

ApOrbital said:

I don't get that one

Don't lose any sleep over it...

Me neither, even look ed up pixar and astleys sites for links ?????????

[chucklebutty]

What's worse than teenage Hitler?



Adult Hitler....

[Alex@POD]

silverfoxcc said:

Doofus said:

ApOrbital said:

I don't get that one

Don't lose any sleep over it...

Me neither, even look ed up pixar and astleys sites for links ?????????

There's a Pixar movie called Up, and also a VW UP. What's he telling his wife about not giving her those for Christmas?

[silverfoxcc]

Missed that !!!!

Still not being a follower of all three it was understandable

[boxst]

[Vipers]

A Jehovahs witness gave me an advent calender.

The first door I opened there were two of them standing behind it.

---

I opened the front door and there were two blokes there, one said

"Do you want to be a Jeholvas witness"

I said "Sorry mate, didnt even see the accident"

[MartG]

This reminds me of the courtroom scene in the old Jack Lemmon comedy 'How to murder your wife'

[havoc]

I'd have thought that button would be part of a reaction test, bit like how fast F1 drivers react to the lights going out...

[JustinF]

boxst said:

was this at Chequers?

[silverfoxcc]

MartG said:

This reminds me of the courtroom scene in the old Jack Lemmon comedy 'How to murder your wife'

No Blair, No Corbyn, No mcDonnell, No mandelson, no trump....otherwise yes