Cringeworthy things us blokes say

[ecs]

Faceache
Bookface
ttter
Halfrauds
Stealership

e.t.c.

[rog007]

daddy cool said:

A little bit of me dies inside whenever someone refers to doing a trackday (ie, a non-compulsory, fun activity that they have chosen and paid to do) as "track work".

"yeah, im running Toyo R888's for track work"

Oh, fk off. You arent an F1 test driver.

And saying "running" too. fk off again.

[FredClogs]

Any talk about directions, traffic, road works or any advice on the best route to take on any journey, no matter how useful or time saving it is likely to be, make me just scream fk off inside my head.

[Europa1]

The blokes in the F1 forums who speak in 'TVscreen', e.g. "HAM beat VET but RIC had a good race"

[TheTrash]

X model car would destroy Y model car on a wet B road in the twistys.

[williamp]

ChemicalChaos said:

"Sure, I'll drive across the country to where you are to meet up [and end up being stood up]"

Twice, I've made that mistake

Eeven if it was an epic drive?

And maybe you had incontinence. A lot of people on here wet themselves with laughing. "Literally pmsl" is very common. Its a serious medical condition..

[TwigtheWonderkid]

"Scamera"

You were driving above the limit and got caught. There's no scam there at all. If you were driving below the limit and the camera somehow doctored the evidence, then it would be a scam.

[4sure]

Over on Biker Banter....
What bikey things are you up to this weekend or whatever, i mean bikey !!!! sounds like 4 year old talk on mumsnet.

Oh and all the references to bumming lol .


Oh and lol.

[4sure]

williamp said:

ChemicalChaos said:

"Sure, I'll drive across the country to where you are to meet up [and end up being stood up]"

Twice, I've made that mistake

Eeven if it was an epic drive?

And maybe you had incontinence. A lot of people on here wet themselves with laughing. "Literally pmsl" is very common. Its a serious medical condition..

Or they come a little bit....over everything !!!

[_Neal_]

I always cringe when someone describes themselves as a "petrolhead".

[Thankyou4calling]

If confession is good for the soul I confess.

I've said, done or thought nearly everything posted on this thread.

I feel better for saying that :-)

[SB7]

williamp said:

Eeven if it was an epic drive?

And maybe you had incontinence. A lot of people on here wet themselves with laughing. "Literally pmsl" is very common. Its a serious medical condition..

Possibly the same people who have a cup of coffee in their hands AT ALL TIMES, and by some weird quirk keep spitting it all over their keyboard.

[Jimmy Recard]

Adenauer said:

A little bit of me dies inside.

After track work?

[Europa1]

"I totally owned him".

What, are you in a serious D/S relationship with that person, or are you some kind of modern slaver?

[Adenauer]

Jimmy Recard said:

Adenauer said:

A little bit of me dies inside.

After track work?

I stopped doing track work four years ago after hitting fluid whilst flat in 4th, probably wouldn't have been so bad had I not been running triple eights at the time. I'd just owned a GT3 as well.

[Jimmy Recard]

Adenauer said:

I stopped doing track work four years ago after hitting fluid whilst flat in 4th, probably wouldn't have been so bad had I not been running triple eights at the time. I'd just owned a GT3 as well.

Oh, I think I remember you mentioning that now.

Maybe after Kraftwerk then?
And

[Ari]

SB7 said:

williamp said:

Eeven if it was an epic drive?

And maybe you had incontinence. A lot of people on here wet themselves with laughing. "Literally pmsl" is very common. Its a serious medical condition..

Possibly the same people who have a cup of coffee in their hands AT ALL TIMES, and by some weird quirk keep spitting it all over their keyboard.

You beat me to it, absolutely this, except it isn't in their hands, they must sit there holding it in their mouth for some deranged reason.

"You owe me a new keyboard"

"Coffee meet keyboard"

Etc etc et bloody cetera.

[Ari]

Anyone who claims to drive with the ESP off because they like to 'feel the car move about a bit through the corners'. or because 'it's too intrusive'.

Basically saying that they're not very good drivers, have no smoothness to their inputs or mechanical sympathy and leave zero margin for error whilst driving on public roads.

Yes, well done you.

[daddy cool]

Adenauer said:

I stopped doing track work four years ago after hitting fluid whilst flat in 4th, probably wouldn't have been so bad had I not been running triple eights at the time. I'd just owned a GT3 as well.

Would i be right be guessing you ended up in the "kitty litter"?

[Ari]

Leptons! FFS!

People seem to believe that if they confess on line to doing 150mph in their Vectra SRi a policeman will immediately turn up at their front door and throw them in jail (rather than, in the extraordinarily unlikely event of seeing it, actually thinking 'bullst' like the rest of us).

But using 'leptons' outfoxes the law you see, so they immediately presume the persona of a professional racing driver crossed with a shadowy underworld anti-hero in a red Honda Sport anorak and Subaru bobble hat that supermodels throw themselves at (not like those nasty slappers in the Aintree thread that they DEFINITELY wouldn't shag oh no..!)