Cringeworthy things us blokes say

[anonymous-user]

Posters using shortened names for their vehicles such as 'rocco, 'grale, 'rado, 'stang, teg, etc.

They probably wear marque-branded clothes.

[Johnspex]

Ahem. As in "I was, ahem, making progress". Actually you we're driving too fast or you wouldn't be so coy about your speed.

[samuelellis]

voyds9 said:

Wife: Can you put the kettle on
Me: No, it wont suit me


Wife: Can you turn the light on
Me: Light I think you're really sexy


Wife doesn't find them funny but the more annoyed she gets the funnier I think they are.

hate to admit it but I think i need to steal those

[mgtony]

Has "mancave" been mentioned yet?

[Hudson]

had ham said:

Posters using shortened names for their vehicles such as 'rocco, 'grale, 'rado, 'stang, teg, etc.

They probably wear marque-branded clothes.

There is a balance, i cringe just as much when people describe their car in minute detail when it's barely relevant.

For example my last place kept a list of what people drove due to Hitlers baby sister in the other building throwing her toys out of the panzer if someone dared parked in one of their spaces (despite there being an abundance of them), when asked to respond to an email with the make, model and registration of your car, someone reply-all'd with enough detail to walk into an Audi dealership and not have to open your mouth.

Obviously replying with "it's a 'rado, love" would have been just as bad.

[R8VXF]

from a friend on FB:

FB Bloke said:

Do I really need to start Christmas shopping soon? I hate it..overpriced and you never feel you've brought enough....need to get the Holy grail aka The Argos catalogue...

Or should that go in the chav thread? Made me cringe anyway.

[Hooli]

samuelellis said:

voyds9 said:

Wife: Can you put the kettle on
Me: No, it wont suit me


Wife: Can you turn the light on
Me: Light I think you're really sexy


Wife doesn't find them funny but the more annoyed she gets the funnier I think they are.

hate to admit it but I think i need to steal those

I've used them for years, I blame my dad he did too.

[Swanny87]

43034 said:

rouge59 said:

Any man who 'pulls the trigger' on anything other than a gun is a bellend.

That.


And people who say 'This'.

This and that.

[R8VXF]

Hooli said:

samuelellis said:

voyds9 said:

Wife: Can you put the kettle on
Me: No, it wont suit me


Wife: Can you turn the light on
Me: Light I think you're really sexy


Wife doesn't find them funny but the more annoyed she gets the funnier I think they are.

hate to admit it but I think i need to steal those

I've used them for years, I blame my dad he did too.

Also:

Wife: Can you put the kettle on?
Me: Yes.
Wife: WILL you put the kettle on?
Me: Go on then

[Swanny87]

"Pulls like a train"

So, you're comparing your car to one of these? Pretty st car then...

[Bandit110]

Impasse said:

People who don't know the difference between lunch and dinner.

errrmm I suppose it depends where you come from, I see you come from a fragile place

[sealtt]

The use of contrived as an adjective to describe a car's noise, handling, etc.

[Calletrece]

Describing a vehicle by model number.

"Yeah, I drive an E46".

A 3 series, great. Just say that.

---

A bit of a specific one, but when 'casual' supporters refer to a team as "we".

I don't object if you've turned up at the football and bought a ticket, you're a part of the 'we'.

It's when you hear a bloke in Maidstone going on "we need more up front than just Rooney"...etc...

Everytime, I die a little inside.

Or worse still during the rugby WC "we" for England, followed by "we" for Ireland a week later cause of your granny being a bit of an O'something.

Edited by Calletrece on Wednesday 4th November 14:34

[Ari]

Dying 'a little inside'...

[Europa1]

Calletrece said:

Describing a vehicle by model number.

"Yeah, I drive an E46".

A 3 series, great. Just say that.

---

A bit of a specific one, but when 'casual' supporters refer to a team as "we".

I don't object if you've turned up at the football and bought a ticket, you're a part of the 'we'.

It's when you hear a bloke in Maidstone going on "we need more up front than just Rooney"...etc...

Everytime, I die a little inside.

Or worse still during the rugby WC "we" for England, followed by "we" for Ireland a week later cause of your granny being a bit of an O'something.

Edited by Calletrece on Wednesday 4th November 14:34

Some of the support for Ireland may be due to the "anyone but the English" attitude of the Scots and the Welsh. I liked the honesty of the English fan who had a T-short with "Our chariot's f%^ked so I'm hitching a ride on the Paddywagon".

[TommoAE86]

Swanny87 said:

"Pulls like a train"

So, you're comparing your car to one of these? Pretty st car then...

Nice train, how many leptons will it do when pressing on?

I'm adding the obnoxious oafs who use the word "strong", my brothers friends did this for a while before managing to grow up.

e.g - one does something good, "I ran 10 miles today", others "wow man, strong"

fk off and die!

[amusingduck]

People who needlessly obscure the name of a company, then make it painfully obvious which company they're talking about.

"In my experience, one french carmaker (beginning with a P) is the worst for this"

"I bought a widget from a catalog company (rhymes with Schmargos) recently..."

[blindswelledrat]

strudel said:

Alex@POD said:

If we sum up everything that was said relating to the posts on here, posters must only use the most literal descriptions and facts. That's going to make for a very boring forum!

Agreed.

Completely disagree.
There is nothing interesting about saying "I run Toyos for track work" instead of "I use Toyos for track days".
The subject and interest is identical, it's just one of them doesn't make everyone else slightly creeped out that they are sharing a forum with the sort of person who smears pedigree chum over his balls in an attempt to get laid.

[Zod]

toon10 said:

I used the following last night.

Her: "What do you want our new house alarm code to be?"
Me: "Dunno, whatever you want"
Her: "OK, why don't we use our anniversary to make it easy to remember"
Me: "Er..."

The thing is that's a good idea, because you will never forget your anniversary.

[julian64]

'Wouldn't see which way it went'

Normally spoken between people with front wheel drive hatchbacks that have cosmetic spoilers.

Well the answer is you would see which way it went. Its starting direction would be a big giveaway, and the residual line\cloud of blue smoke would seal the deal even if you somehow managed to close your eyes for the half a day it would take to reach the horizon..