Tell us something really trivial about your life (Vol 27)

[DickyC]

Vitorio said:

You people arent making any sense, maybe you are all drunk, or maybe im not drunk enough..

The immediate problems stem, I believe, from our getaway driver being based in Germany and the chaps are worried about the implications of Brexit. The getaway driver - with classic Jaguar S Type - is also the Comptroller of the TT Space Programme. These are complex times. All in all, you can understand why they went on a bender and haven't made sense since.

Sense since?

[Vitorio]

DickyC said:

The immediate problems stem, I believe, from our getaway driver being based in Germany and the chaps are worried about the implications of Brexit. The getaway driver - with classic Jaguar S Type - is also the Comptroller of the TT Space Programme. These are complex times. All in all, you can understand why they went on a bender and haven't made sense since.

Sense since?

I see, meaning, i dont.

I would try again with a higher blood alcohol content, but there are two prohibiting factors, 1) im at work, 2), my entire body feels like introducing alcohol would lead to catastrophic effects.

[anonymous-user]

'Andy Andy has let go the first. That drunk idiot in Belfast gave the wrong coordinates - in fact they were just his pin number as he thought he was ordering a takeway and long story short the Piddletrenthide WI has taken a bit of a pasting.... the gantry is on its way to get the larger ladies out of the rubble but in the meantime where is that swine Eichmann is he still leaving his goose step skid marks in country lanes? If so we'll need to follow those....

[DickyC]

Vitorio said:

I see, meaning, i dont.

I would try again with a higher blood alcohol content, but there are two prohibiting factors, 1) im at work, 2), my entire body feels like introducing alcohol would lead to catastrophic effects.

That's the ticket. Welcome aboard.

[anonymous-user]

Vitorio said:

I see, meaning, i dont.

I would try again with a higher blood alcohol content, but there are two prohibiting factors, 1) im at work, 2), my entire body feels like introducing alcohol would lead to catastrophic effects.

Marvellous, may I recommend absinthe and trapese artistry? The Verger wont like it is theres sobriety in the house so make sure you bring flippers and a pelican.

[bomma220]

Morning all, thought I'd have a bit of a wander around this morning & familiarise myself with things.

I've noticed there are a few car related posts from those 'petrolhead' type chaps - The Archdeacon should get on well with them.

Just ordered a copy of this, looks an interesting read:

[Vitorio]

V6Pushfit said:

Marvellous, may I recommend absinthe and trapese artistry? The Verger wont like it is theres sobriety in the house so make sure you bring flippers and a pelican.

Im fairly certain sad cocktail would induce projectile vomiting, which on a trapeze would result in the interior of the house being painted "nut and oats bun brown", or is the pelican to be used as a receptacle for such?


Tomfoolery aside, just had a short chat with my mum, i think im having another downward dip, mostly due to the whole splitting up/housing situation, combined with work sucking right now (the urge to defenestrate a certain coworker was strong yesterday). Not quite sure how to pick myself up out of this slump...

[Jim AK]

Vitorio said:

Im fairly certain sad cocktail would induce projectile vomiting, which on a trapeze would result in the interior of the house being painted "nut and oats bun brown", or is the pelican to be used as a receptacle for such?


Tomfoolery aside, just had a short chat with my mum, i think im having another downward dip, mostly due to the whole splitting up/housing situation, combined with work sucking right now (the urge to defenestrate a certain coworker was strong yesterday). Not quite sure how to pick myself up out of this slump...

Sorry to hear of your somewhat unpleasant situation, but nice use of 'Defenestrate'

Perfect example of the use of a word that is a personal favourite.

[Vitorio]

Jim AK said:

Sorry to hear of your somewhat unpleasant situation, but nice use of 'Defenestrate'

Perfect example of the use of a word that is a personal favourite.

Thanks! it is a personal favorite of mine as well, such an elegant word for "chuck it out the window", and it nicely contrasts with the violence of said object being smashed into the ground

[bomma220]

Vitorio said:

Im fairly certain sad cocktail would induce projectile vomiting, which on a trapeze would result in the interior of the house being painted "nut and oats bun brown", or is the pelican to be used as a receptacle for such?


Tomfoolery aside, just had a short chat with my mum, i think im having another downward dip, mostly due to the whole splitting up/housing situation, combined with work sucking right now (the urge to defenestrate a certain coworker was strong yesterday). Not quite sure how to pick myself up out of this slump...

Marvellous word, Defenestrate - they don't make them like that anymore. It's all bloody 'wifi' & 'selfie' these days...

Sorry to hear things are a bit tough at the moment chap - change of job maybe?

[coopedup]

Morning all, a bit fragile after too much liquid refreshment over the last few days, good to be back at work to give the old organs a rest!
Sorry to hear you are not too good V, we are all here for you, just remember to vent here.

[Vitorio]

bomma220 said:

Sorry to hear things are a bit tough at the moment chap - change of job maybe?

Nah, work isnt too bad generally, but my team has changed quite a bit lately, for the worse, so itll take a while to get a good groove back. On top of that we have three teams sharing a maintenance role, currently we are doing 4 weeks concentrated work, 2 weeks maintenance and support, and i fking have the maintenance/support bit, especially considering i was right in the middle of interesting work when we had to drop it all for our two weeks latrine duty.

Got a meeting with a mortgage adviser next week, not sure if im gonna like it, but ill find out if staying in the current house is an option. I think deep down i really want to, but chances are slim i fear Kinda sucks that im gonna end up having to move because the ex moved out, despite the fact that i am now im better shape to afford living there then when we were together.

[bomma220]

Vitorio said:

Nah, work isnt too bad generally, but my team has changed quite a bit lately, for the worse, so itll take a while to get a good groove back. On top of that we have three teams sharing a maintenance role, currently we are doing 4 weeks concentrated work, 2 weeks maintenance and support, and i fking have the maintenance/support bit, especially considering i was right in the middle of interesting work when we had to drop it all for our two weeks latrine duty.

Got a meeting with a mortgage adviser next week, not sure if im gonna like it, but ill find out if staying in the current house is an option. I think deep down i really want to, but chances are slim i fear Kinda sucks that im gonna end up having to move because the ex moved out, despite the fact that i am now im better shape to afford living there then when we were together.

Well, sounds like work should settle down soon, guess it's a case of 'grin & bear it' in the meantime.

The mortgage advisor, are they independent? I mean, are they working on behalf of your mortgage company or are they working for you? I'm no expert in these matters, but a second opinion might be good if the meeting doesn't go well?

[Vitorio]

bomma220 said:

Well, sounds like work should settle down soon, guess it's a case of 'grin & bear it' in the meantime.

The mortgage advisor, are they independent? I mean, are they working on behalf of your mortgage company or are they working for you? I'm no expert in these matters, but a second opinion might be good if the meeting doesn't go well?

Nah, they are independent advisors, they get a comision from the mortgage provider when you sign through them, and as such i get this as a service from them, they work with pretty much any mortgage provider/bank in the country.

Ive practically been paying the mortgage for over two years on my own, and with the ex gone i have a better grip on my finances (despite the child support payments), but if you take official mortgage rules into consideration, i dont make near enough to be allowed this much, and despite the fact that the ex pays nothing towards it now, i very much doubt ill be able to get her stricken from the mortgage. Wont need to buy her out luckily, and currently the house is worth less then the outstanding debt on it.

There might be a backup plan in getting a new mortgage altogether to finance the rest, but it would involve me needing to switch jobs (currently an IT contractor, i would need to move to my current assignment permanently and get a bloody good deal), and my current mortgage provider might demand a penalty payment for me switching mortgages, scuttling that plan...

Ive been back and forth about whether i want to stay countless times, it is big expensive house, but not having to move twice, sit in a rental for a few years to save up before buying something smaller (with no garage most likely, so no car tinkering) sucks too... Plus i could make something very nice out of all the space i have now, once it is truly mine.

[bomma220]

Vitorio said:

Nah, they are independent advisors, they get a comision from the mortgage provider when you sign through them, and as such i get this as a service from them, they work with pretty much any mortgage provider/bank in the country.

Ive practically been paying the mortgage for over two years on my own, and with the ex gone i have a better grip on my finances (despite the child support payments), but if you take official mortgage rules into consideration, i dont make near enough to be allowed this much, and despite the fact that the ex pays nothing towards it now, i very much doubt ill be able to get her stricken from the mortgage. Wont need to buy her out luckily, and currently the house is worth less then the outstanding debt on it.

There might be a backup plan in getting a new mortgage altogether to finance the rest, but it would involve me needing to switch jobs (currently an IT contractor, i would need to move to my current assignment permanently and get a bloody good deal), and my current mortgage provider might demand a penalty payment for me switching mortgages, scuttling that plan...

Well, I would have thought that if you can afford the repayments then would the mortgage provider really want to enforce 'official rules'? After all, you're trying to address an existing situation the best way possible, you're not starting from cold.
Best of luck with the meeting chap, where there's a will there's a way...

Ive been back and forth about whether i want to stay countless times, it is big expensive house, but not having to move twice, sit in a rental for a few years to save up before buying something smaller (with no garage most likely, so no car tinkering) sucks too... Plus i could make something very nice out of all the space i have now, once it is truly mine.

[EnglishTony]

Dee Fenestrate was an exotic dancer I once met. Used to shave herself on stage. Never seen a woman with such a huge goatie before.

Re the getaway Jag - the I left the keys in the other thread so I shall have to hotwire it. Which is a bit of a nuisance and also very dangerous as Q (not seen since T on Sunday afternoon) rigged it especially so it couldn't be hotwired. This will take some time for, as you know, Q's solution to the problem of car theft are elegant, fiendishly cunning and invariably fatal. Look what happened to those oiks that thought they'd nearly half-inched the portable dog kennel. The boat shed was never the same colour.

[Captain Virgulino Ferreira da Silva]

Buenos Dias gringos!
My friends and I have kidnapped your ‘Banter’ thread and we hold it to ransom until you pay us 25 million of your Engleesh pounds.
These must be in the form of used five pound notes (the white ones) and are to be delivered to us in Rio under cover in one of your Olympic horse boxes.
If we do not receive this monies before the opening ceremony we will disseminate every post in the thread and distribute it to the world press. Furthermore you will be enforced to continue your posting on the (inferior) TT thread.

This is the final demand, there will be no more messages

[Jim AK]

Captain Virgulino Ferreira da Silva said:

Buenos Dias gringos!
My friends ansd I have kidnapped your ‘Banter’ thread and we hold it to ransom until you pay us 25 million of your Engleesh pounds.
These must be in the form of used five pound notes (the white ones) and are to be delivered to us in Rio under cover in one of your Olympic horse boxes.
If we do not receive this monies before the opening ceremony we will disseminate every post in the thread and distribute it to the world press. Furthermore you will be enforced to continue your posting on the (inferior) TT thread.

This is the final demand, there will be no more messages

Have you got Bernie Ecclestone's Ma in Law too?

Hasta la Vista......... Baby!

[Vitorio]

bomma220 said:

Well, I would have thought that if you can afford the repayments then would the mortgage provider really want to enforce 'official rules'? After all, you're trying to address an existing situation the best way possible, you're not starting from cold.
Best of luck with the meeting chap, where there's a will there's a way...

Sadly there are rules and procedure to be followed in these cases Apparently they do a complete financial re-assessment if you want to remove your ex from the mortgage. The advisor im going to really came through for us back when we bought the house though, so if there is a loophole im sure it can be found.

I think the whole thing is kind of weird too, i mean if they get me a new mortgage for a new 30 year period based on the remaining debt, i could easily pay that, and id be more then willing to stick with the same bank, meaning they'd still make money off me. If i were to sell, i'd be rid of the mortgage without an early termination fine, so they wouldnt make a dime of me anymore (especially considering id probably use a different bank when buying again in a few years)

Sadly logic all to often doesnt have a seat at the table when finance gets discussed..

We'll see either way, thanks for the chat!

[DickyC]

We've had a whip round and find we can almost match your ransom demand. So far we have £3/8/2 (that's three pounds, eight shillings and tuppence). We hope this will be in order. I shall be under the clock at six wearing a pink gingham ensemble.

I shall come alone.

No monkey business.