The "Typical" PHer - What's your view?

The "Typical" PHer - What's your view?

Author
Discussion

Nickbrapp

Original Poster:

5,277 posts

129 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
I'm sure we all have a idea of what a typical PHer is like based on the large amount of drivel posted on this forum. What's your view on a user?


Mine would be

35-55
Bit of a belly
2 kids
Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife,and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger
Mortgage, with a BTL investment, doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)
Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"
Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo
Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him
Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k
Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"
Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.
Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.
Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.

WinstonWolf

72,857 posts

238 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Nickbrapp said:
I'm sure we all have a idea of what a typical PHer is like based on the large amount of drivel posted on this forum. What's your view on a user?


Mine would be

35-55
Bit of a belly
2 kids
Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife,and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger
Mortgage, with a BTL investment, doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)
Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"
Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo
Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him
Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k
Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"
Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.
Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.
Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.
That is precisely my view on you...

Nickbrapp

Original Poster:

5,277 posts

129 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
WinstonWolf said:
That is precisely my view on you...
Tell me, how many network ports are in your connected home?

WinstonWolf

72,857 posts

238 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Nickbrapp said:
WinstonWolf said:
That is precisely my view on you...
Tell me, how many network ports are in your connected home?
rofl

You edited a Golf R out for that?

MrBarry123

6,025 posts

120 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
WinstonWolf said:
That is precisely my view on you...
LOL! laugh

I actually have a much more positive view of the average PHer given the majority of st on here is created by the minority of people. I have faith in the majority of members being just decent, honest people who like cars.

Iva Barchetta

44,044 posts

162 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Fail.

About the only part of the OP that fits me is the age group and non Apple use......blahhehe

Sheepshanks

32,530 posts

118 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Nickbrapp said:
I'm sure we all have a idea of what a typical PHer is like based on the large amount of drivel posted on this forum. What's your view on a user?

Mine would be....
My impression is that most people on here aspire to be as you described.

Griffithy

929 posts

275 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
MrBarry123 said:
LOL! laugh

I actually have a much more positive view of the average PHer given the majority of st on here is created by the minority of people. I have faith in the majority of members being just decent, honest people who like cars.
+1

Never ever heard real PHs talking about strange VAGs and funny little Beemers. confused
Life is to short.
scratchchin

Shaoxter

4,048 posts

123 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Nickbrapp said:
No - 35-55
No - Bit of a belly
No - 2 kids
No - Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
No - Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife,and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger
Yes/Yes/No/No - Mortgage, with a BTL investment, doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
No - House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
No - Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)
No - Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
Sometimes - Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
No - Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
No - Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
No - Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"
Yes/No/No - Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
No - Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo
No - Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him
No - Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k
Sort of, but mainly just because I prefer Android - Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"
No - Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.
Yes/Yes/No/No/No - Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.
No - Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.
So that's probably 10% accurate for me then hehe

ali_kat

31,988 posts

220 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
No - 35-55
No - Bit of a belly
No - 2 kids
No - Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
No - Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife, and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger
No - Mortgage,
No - with a BTL investment,
No - doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
No - House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
No - Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)
No - Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
No - Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
No - Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
No - Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
No - Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"
No - Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
No - Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo
No - Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him
No - Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k
No - Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"
No - Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.
No - Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.
No - Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.

Soov535

35,829 posts

270 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all


I expect the average PHer can spell "gloats".


GetCarter

29,358 posts

278 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Nickbrapp said:
I'm sure we all have a idea of what a typical PHer is like based on the large amount of drivel posted on this forum. What's your view on a user?


Mine would be

35-55
Bit of a belly
2 kids
Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife,and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger
Mortgage, with a BTL investment, doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)
Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"
Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo
Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him
Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k
Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"
Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.
Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.
Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.
Well I didn't think it possible, but you got every single thing wrong.

Class post.

Sheepshanks

32,530 posts

118 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
GetCarter said:
Well I didn't think it possible, but you got every single thing wrong.

Class post.
Perhaps I'm missing something but the thread isn't about whether it applies to the first person - it's about your view of other PHer's.

GetCarter

29,358 posts

278 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Sheepshanks said:
GetCarter said:
Well I didn't think it possible, but you got every single thing wrong.

Class post.
Perhaps I'm missing something but the thread isn't about whether it applies to the first person - it's about your view of other PHer's.
...and it's wrong.

HTH

Rawwr

22,722 posts

233 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Nickbrapp said:
35-55
Bit of a belly
I'm 36 and have 120% body fat.

Nickbrapp said:
2 kids
Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife,and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger
I'm single.

Nickbrapp said:
Mortgage, with a BTL investment, doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)
No mortgage. Cambridgeshire. No Sonus, no Cat6 and no CCTV.

Nickbrapp said:
Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"
None of that applies.

Nickbrapp said:
Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo
I'm certainly no fan of VAG products, automatics or turbochargers but I think the GT86 is excellent the way it is.

Nickbrapp said:
Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him
Used to do them. Don't anymore. Not sure why.

Nickbrapp said:
Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k
Somewhere between the two figures.

Nickbrapp said:
Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"
I refuse to buy one because I don't see where the value for money is. I tend to replace phones when they stop working, which is about every 5 years.

Nickbrapp said:

Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.
I'm wearing Levis right now but my waist has grown quite significantly since I was 20. By over a foot, in fact. I'm also wearing a North Face hoody, t-shirt and slippers.

Nickbrapp said:
Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.
I love my job! I spent most of my time at work working, rather posting.

Nickbrapp said:
Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.
I don't think the M135i is anything special. It's not something I'd ever buy.

Sump

5,484 posts

166 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
OP sounds like he works on minimum wage.

mcelliott

8,626 posts

180 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
Sump said:
OP sounds like he works on minimum wage.
Indeed - sounds like a right pauper. I bet he's never 'pulled the trigger' on anything.

ali_kat

31,988 posts

220 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
GetCarter said:
Sheepshanks said:
GetCarter said:
Well I didn't think it possible, but you got every single thing wrong.

Class post.
Perhaps I'm missing something but the thread isn't about whether it applies to the first person - it's about your view of other PHer's.
...and it's very wrong, as proven by the replies

HTH
Efa smile

Mr GrimNasty

8,172 posts

169 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
1/21 Must try harder.

funkyrobot

18,789 posts

227 months

Tuesday 2nd February 2016
quotequote all
OP - you got so cheesed off on another thread that you started this one?

rofl

Nickbrapp said:
Threads like this show what a bunch of fat, undersexed, work in accounts, tedious, boring, communists all named John I bet use this website. It's pathetic.

Good luck with the sale OP, not sure why having a shortened number plate makes it council, I hardly bet everyone on here is sitting in their 1500's Manor House judging you, more like in their commuter belt executive homes, with a station car and a mx5 parked outside. There really is nothing worse than middle class suburbia.

I bet the real reason everyone is moaning is this BMW has more power and is holding back the appreciation on the e46 m3 and it's driving them wild as they can't overpay the mortgage this year

Good luck with the sale I say, £13k is the cheapest one around currently.

Edited by Nickbrapp on Tuesday 2nd February 16:05