The "Typical" PHer - What's your view?

[Biker's Nemesis]

I am 50 this year.

I will say most of the wkers I see driving poorly on the road are in VW's, mainly Golf's.

[Rawwr]

Bill said:

Rawwr said:

It's a real problem. I basically look like an inbred infant has pulled all the pastry off a pork pie and mashed the remaining meat and jelly into what it thinks a man looks like.

And proud of it, I hope?

Well, wouldn't you be?

[Bill]

Sadly I can only dream of that kind of physique.

[Biker's Nemesis]

I'm basically the double of Brad pit.

[InductionRoar]

Biker's Nemesis said:

I'm basically the double of Brad pit.

You have my sympathy.

[Jaroon]

Ari said:

Disastrous said:

It reminded me a bit of this, posted here years ago on a discussion on a PH TV show (and how bad it would be):

someone said:

It's 11pm and while most 40 year old men are tucked up with their wives, Keith has just finished installing a new drop link on the front suspension of his 1998 TVR Tuscan S [I don't care] and still has a few more hours work to go. After a few hours sleep he'll drive to the Telecoms centre, where he supports 300 staff with their IT needs, in his self-declared 'snotter' - a 1998 Alpina E39 530i[I don't care].

Throughout the week he'll post updates on the improvements on an Internet Forum where other enthusiasts will argue to the nth degree about everything from small engineering to which is the best website to find dates on. Keith is considered a bit of an expert on dating, having maintained a profile on Match.com for over 7 years and is always available to critique other profile and offer advice. Keith's last significant relationship was 26 years ago and lasted 3 weeks.

Come the weekend, they'll be no socialising with family and friends, it's a day of marshalling at the local go-kart track on Saturday followed up with Sunday Service on Sunday. A reverent day of meeting like minded, white, enthusiasts and discussing the latest happening in the motor world.

This is the bizarre world of Pistonheads and over the next hour we'll take you through some of the more bizarre members of this strange club.

That's brilliant!

Some while ago I was in a petrol station filling up and I saw a middle aged man pull in driving a Vauxhall Vectra SRI with an Irmscher quad headlight conversion. He got out and was wearing a bright red padded 'Honda Racing' anorak. 'I bet he's on Pistonheads' I thought. And no, I didn't engage him in conversation to find out..!

That guy really dodged a bullet there

[Jinx]

Not sure that anyone with less than 120 months on PH is in much of a position to determine the "typical" PHer. Stick around for another 90 months OP and see if you have gleaned any insight from these forums......

Only matched two on the list - must try harder

[cranford10]

There are some gems on here- well worth a thread resurrection :-

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=147...

[crankedup]

Massive fail OP! no mention of political leanings? I'm a fully paid-up Communist that enjoys nothing more than winding up fellow PH'ers with my enlightened political prose!

[Pooh]

Nickbrapp said:

Pooh said:

Pooh said:

Pooh said:

Am I correct in thinking that the OP has a VAG car and an iPhone?

Yep and I work in marketing for superdry, the vag product is diesel white and 4wd with LED brake light that I enjoy burning people's retinas with, especially on my way back to my rent Charles church home on a estate to see my blond Range Rover driving Chav of a girlfriend before we pop out for a cheeky nandos in our matching barbor jackets, but not before poping into apple to pick up the latest white product

Just as I suspected

[SwedishSoul]

According to YouGov: PH'ers like Audi. Audi drivers according to YouGov: love exercising, Waitrose, sport, cycling, fishing, performing arts, enjoy cars and motoring, are a leader in their heart and most of all, love BMW

[WD39]

Rawwr said:

Nickbrapp said:

35-55
Bit of a belly

I'm 36 and have 120% body fat.

Nickbrapp said:

2 kids
Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife,and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger

I'm single.

Nickbrapp said:

Mortgage, with a BTL investment, doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)

No mortgage. Cambridgeshire. No Sonus, no Cat6 and no CCTV.

Nickbrapp said:

Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"

None of that applies.

Nickbrapp said:

Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo

I'm certainly no fan of VAG products, automatics or turbochargers but I think the GT86 is excellent the way it is.

Nickbrapp said:

Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him

Used to do them. Don't anymore. Not sure why.

Nickbrapp said:

Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k

Somewhere between the two figures.

Nickbrapp said:

Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"

I refuse to buy one because I don't see where the value for money is. I tend to replace phones when they stop working, which is about every 5 years.

Nickbrapp said:

Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.

I'm wearing Levis right now but my waist has grown quite significantly since I was 20. By over a foot, in fact. I'm also wearing a North Face hoody, t-shirt and slippers.

Nickbrapp said:

Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.

I love my job! I spent most of my time at work working, rather posting.

Nickbrapp said:

Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.

I don't think the M135i is anything special. It's not something I'd ever buy.

Aspirational six-pack surely?

I also suspect a chav plate.

[PanzerCommander]

Nickbrapp said:

I'm sure we all have a idea of what a typical PHer is like based on the large amount of drivel posted on this forum. What's your view on a user?


Mine would be

no: 32 35-55
yep: probably about 1 - 1 & 1/st overweight Bit of a belly
no: none 2 kids
no: single Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
no: see above Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife,and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger
no: If I had a mortgage I wouldn't want a second, quite happy to use loans and credit cards as an when Mortgage, with a BTL investment, doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
no: wouldn't want to live anywhere like that House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
no/yes: only one network port so that I have a solid connection for online gaming Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)
no: if a car can't be used daily its no good to me at the moment Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
no: Single Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
no: cars are for driving not polishing and looking at Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
no: I have spent half as much again on mods for the Mustang, money I'll never get back, but there is no way I'd buy something so dull anyway. Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"
no: I wouldn't own a VAG car, the designs by and large don't interest me, nice cars sure but i'd be bored with it fairly quickly. Autos are fine as are turbos Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
no: needs a small block V8 Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo
no: I drag race at a national level so I put my money where my mouth is. Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him
yes/no: I have commented on it but I don't look down on those that earn less than me, and I don't earn £35k but can more than happily get by thanks. Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k
yes/no: I won't by an iPhone because they are poor value for money an android or windows based phone does everything I need it to for less money, I only replace them when they break Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"
no: I will by branded when the mood take me but by and large I don't care about fashion or looking cool and hip. Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.
yes/no: I am often bored at work but rather than hate it I am doing something about it. I should have my PPL in a month or so, then I can start working towards a commercial pilots licence. I don't get excited about for boring mainstream cars. Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.
no: The phrase junior super car hacks me off, just the same as hyper car. Its either a Super Car or it isn't and the 135i doesn't even come close Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.

So other than a couple of partials you got one point on that OP guess I am not an average PH'er

[Ari]

PanzerCommander said:

So other than a couple of partials you got one point on that OP guess I am not an average PH'er

And in answer to the actual question he posed..?

[PanzerCommander]

Ari said:

And in answer to the actual question he posed..?

There is no 'average' PH'er, its a website that covers a broad range of motoring enthusiasts.

[kwaka jack]

Nickbrapp said:

No 35-55
Yes Bit of a belly
No 2 kids
No Loveless marriage but stay together for the mortgage
No Sex on birthday and anniversary (if he remembers) which will be totally unfulfilling for the wife,and of course in the missionary position so they look like a uncooked chicken, leading her to have a affair with someone 15 years younger
No Mortgage, with a BTL investment, doesn't believe in credit cards or the " never never" and prefers to over pay on the mortgage, which is opposite to his stay at home wife who is so bored she's redecorating the kitchen for the 13th time this year and buying up the contents of Laura Ashley quicker than they can make it
No House in the "commuter belt" on a Barrett estate
No Said house is "connected" with Sonus, cat 6 everywhere and remote CCTV ( to watch the wife get porked while he's working 18 hours a day at the office)
No Uses phrases like " pull the trigger" on something exciting but then runs a station car or a shead along with a " toy" for the weekend.
No Ignores said wife for "toy" ironically of course because she is doing the same
No Uses the term " appreciating asset" every time someone talks about buying a bloody BMW e46 m3
No Gloates about how he could never " spunk" £30k on a depesicating asset either, or spend £200 s month to " rent a golf" when in reality he would love a new car because the " shead" keeps breaking down
No Keeps a spreadsheet of such costs, so he can sleep at night knowing he's not renting a German "stbox or European shopping trolley"
No Hates all things VAG, all things automatic, anything with a turbo...
No Says the gt86 would be the perfect car if it had a turbo
No Talks about going on track days, when he once did a supercar experience and it scared him
No Contributes to the " a bit council thread" and looks down on anyone with less than a £100,000 salary and says he can only just " get by" when in reality he's on £35k
No Refuses to use a iPhone because of " sheep conformity"
No Won't buy anything branded as its " council" instead wears weird fish polo shirts and the same pair of Levi's he's had since he was 20.
No Spends most of his working day, at the job he hates, sitting on pistonheads, correcting people's spelling, slagging off the golf R, creaming himself when someone delivers a thread like the current 135i one running. Then goes to the pub to talk about work as he is dull.
No Oh and he loves the junior supercar m135i, when in relality it's just a bit dull like him.

[WD39]

Yes. Gets very exited and all of a quiver over a ......number plate.

[mike80]

The typical PHer... whenever a thread like this comes up replies to each point in turn in order to vehemently deny them.

[Tannedbaldhead]

mike80 said:

The typical PHer... whenever a thread like this comes up replies to each point in turn in order to vehemently deny them.

Oh no we don't.;)
I'd tick some of the boxes.

[WinstonWolf]

swerni said:

WinstonWolf said:

Nickbrapp said:

WinstonWolf said:

That is precisely my view on you...

Tell me, how many network ports are in your connected home?

You edited a Golf R out for that?

You never answered the question.

How many ports?

If I told you you'd only think I was being vulgar.