Paying It Forward

[48Valves]

We give our son's cloths and shoes to one of the wife's friends who's son is a year an a bit younger than ours. Most of it looks like it's never been worn. They are a really nice family and work hard, just in low paying jobs.

We try to pass on most things our kids have grown out of of or don't want any more. We could sell the stuff on eBay for a few quid, but I would rather give them to someone. If that then saves them a few quid they might be able to afford to take the kids out for the day or buy them a treat.

[DJFish]

I bought someone a Christmas tree

On Christmas Eve I found myself in B&Q who were flogging their trees for 5p, I bought a little one to bring that 'real tree smell' to the house.
A lady was looking to buy one but didn't have the change so I bought her one as well.
Am I a philanthropist?
Am I too generous for my own good?
That's not really for me to say...all I know is that I made someone's world a better place.

[anonymous-user]

I once bought a poor person a Panerai watch. Paid in cash no less; none of that disgusting credit lark here thenkyouverymuch.

[James Drake]

Not really the same thing... And definitely frowned upon by anyone operating a car park but I often offer my parking ticket to someone I can see has just parked if I'm on my way out and have paid for too much. Happens less often these days as so many car parks are pay on exit... But makes me feel good when I do it.

I know it is stupidly minor, but still feels like a good deed.

[DonkeyApple]

DrSteveBrule said:

I once bought a poor person a Panerai watch. Paid in cash no less; none of that disgusting credit lark here thenkyouverymuch.

And how do they then find the money for the replacement buckle? You're just going to let them use a fake one? What a .

[DJFish]

And servicing, don't forget servicing.
It's almost like you're willing them to fail.

[FredClogs]

I always give money to street musicians and buskers, I'm of the opinion that the lowest forms of art should be patronised more than high art, anyway once I gave a lovely young violinist in Edinburgh a £20 because I had no change and she was doing a right good job on a cold and miserable evening, fking bh never even looked up or acknowledged me, fking violin playing we.

Edited by FredClogs on Thursday 11th February 10:25

[yellowjack]

48Valves said:

We give our son's cloths and shoes to one of the wife's friends who's son is a year an a bit younger than ours. Most of it looks like it's never been worn. They are a really nice family and work hard, just in low paying jobs.

We try to pass on most things our kids have grown out of of or don't want any more. We could sell the stuff on eBay for a few quid, but I would rather give them to someone. If that then saves them a few quid they might be able to afford to take the kids out for the day or buy them a treat.

Growing up in South Wales in the 70s, that was just 'normal life'. Clothes (especially school uniform) came up the street from my dad's mate, from his older son to me. Then, if they were still wearable, when I was done with them they went back down the street to his younger son. People just passed things along when they were finished with, rather than chucking them away. It was just the way things were. It only stopped being a 'thing' when right-to-buy came along and it stopped being a council estate and became "ex local authority private housing". It also went from being a smart looking street with nicely kept front gardens to a shanty town, with excessive sheds, and the wholesale ripping up of lawns, tearing down of garden walls and creation of 'driveways' that our travelling brethren wouldn't be associated with.

[5potTurbo]

yellowjack said:

....Good stuff....

...and,

yellowjack said:

It only stopped being a 'thing' when right-to-buy came along and it stopped being a council estate and became "ex local authority private housing". It also went from being a smart looking street with nicely kept front gardens to a shanty town, with excessive sheds, and the wholesale ripping up of lawns, tearing down of garden walls and creation of 'driveways' that our travelling brethren wouldn't be associated with.

THAT is a very good observation, and I agree wholeheartedly.
The road I grew up on used to be great, but it really is a sthole now. It made me sad to see it a few months ago.

[DonkeyApple]

yellowjack said:

48Valves said:

We give our son's cloths and shoes to one of the wife's friends who's son is a year an a bit younger than ours. Most of it looks like it's never been worn. They are a really nice family and work hard, just in low paying jobs.

We try to pass on most things our kids have grown out of of or don't want any more. We could sell the stuff on eBay for a few quid, but I would rather give them to someone. If that then saves them a few quid they might be able to afford to take the kids out for the day or buy them a treat.

Growing up in South Wales in the 70s, that was just 'normal life'. Clothes (especially school uniform) came up the street from my dad's mate, from his older son to me. Then, if they were still wearable, when I was done with them they went back down the street to his younger son. People just passed things along when they were finished with, rather than chucking them away. It was just the way things were. It only stopped being a 'thing' when right-to-buy came along and it stopped being a council estate and became "ex local authority private housing". It also went from being a smart looking street with nicely kept front gardens to a shanty town, with excessive sheds, and the wholesale ripping up of lawns, tearing down of garden walls and creation of 'driveways' that our travelling brethren wouldn't be associated with.

It still is normal in normalland. Kids grow far to quickly to wear most stuff out so we bundle it up periodically and hand it over to mates who take the items they want and then pass it on. I would reckon that at least 80% of my children's clothing is handmedowns.

We get regular parcels from Aberdeen where people seem to spend enormous sums on new clothing (until recently) and we've got supplies that'll see our children forward at least 5 years.

[Jasandjules]

Perhaps I am being a bit thick, but most of these things are just "being nice" rather than paying it forward?

Unless I misunderstand, paying it forward is when someone does you a good deed, you do a good deed for another to "pay it forward"?

Or am I wrong?

[Mr Will]

louiebaby said:

I think the whole idea of "Paying it Forward" is as the opposite of "Paying someone back."

With paying someone back, you only do something nice for someone who was nice to you.

With paying it forward, you either do something nice for someone else instead, either because someone did something for you, or just some "random act of kindness".

The hope is that there will be a proliferation of people just doing nice things for each other, and everyone is just a little happier.

It's all a bit , but I think it's generally a good thing.

The person you bought a copy for then helps out someone who doesn't quite have enough money for a bus ticket, who then helps someone bump start their car, who then gives a cyclist with a puncture lift, who ... blah blah blah...

You get the point.

^ This.

I'm a cyclist (spot a theme here!) and I'll stop to help others with punctures or mechanical trouble. The most recent one was a failed valve, which meant there was no way to patch or repair the inner tube so I gave the guy my spare one. He tried to offer me payment but I'm not worried about the couple of quid that an old inner tube is worth. Told him not to worry and just to return the favour to the next person who need it. That's paying it forward.

[DonkeyApple]

Jasandjules said:

Perhaps I am being a bit thick, but most of these things are just "being nice" rather than paying it forward?

Unless I misunderstand, paying it forward is when someone does you a good deed, you do a good deed for another to "pay it forward"?

Or am I wrong?

Not wrong. Only the Americans could take what is just being a civilised human being and give it a brand and market it as some kind of concept for a corporate in increase revenues.

Hallmark will be selling an appropriate card for it soon and there will be new medicines and therapies to cure people who don't pay forward enough and those who do it too much. The circle will be complete.

[arfursleep]

DonkeyApple said:

Not wrong. Only the Americans could take what is just being a civilised human being and give it a brand and market it as some kind of concept for a corporate in increase revenues.

Hallmark will be selling an appropriate card for it soon and there will be new medicines and therapies to cure people who don't pay forward enough and those who do it too much. The circle will be complete.

Nail. Head. Close thread.

[austinsmirk]

well, couple of years, got a puncture on my bike cycling to work.

put another tube in.

cycling home, got another puncture. I'm about 4 mile from home. Its snowing, its late dec, its dark.

tried fixing the tube with a kit, no chance, its too cold, too wet, too snowey. tried tying a knot in the tube, no chance of getting on the rim, as its a racing bike.

I live at the top of the biggest nastiest hill around hill for miles (and in live in yorkshire) the hill is that steep- its top section is even coated in extra resin stuff on the highway.

so I trudge home, in cleated racing shoes.

repair my bike, cycle to work. call into a local cycle shop- all terrain cycles of saltaire to buy a slimb filled tube the next day

recount my tale of woe.

the chap on the counter tells me he saw me trudging up the nightmare of the hill last night, when he passed in the works van.


GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. good advert for yr business mate.

how about a lift eh ?????

[DonkeyApple]

austinsmirk said:

well, couple of years, got a puncture on my bike cycling to work.

put another tube in.

cycling home, got another puncture. I'm about 4 mile from home. Its snowing, its late dec, its dark.

tried fixing the tube with a kit, no chance, its too cold, too wet, too snowey. tried tying a knot in the tube, no chance of getting on the rim, as its a racing bike.

I live at the top of the biggest nastiest hill around hill for miles (and in live in yorkshire) the hill is that steep- its top section is even coated in extra resin stuff on the highway.

so I trudge home, in cleated racing shoes.

repair my bike, cycle to work. call into a local cycle shop- all terrain cycles of saltaire to buy a slimb filled tube the next day

recount my tale of woe.

the chap on the counter tells me he saw me trudging up the nightmare of the hill last night, when he passed in the works van.


GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. good advert for yr business mate.

how about a lift eh ?????

That's nothing. Many moons ago when a lot of our group were still driving around in our student cars, we were having a post Christmas, back in London beer and one mate recounts to another that he thought of him on Christmas Eve as he was driving up the M1 to Yorkshire and had seen some loser broken down in a similar turd brown old banger as our mate, only for our mate to retort that it had actually been him and he didn't get home until Christmas lunch.

[Smitters]

I do it, when I can.

There's someone at my work who occasionally leaves their change, or sticks a quid in the vending machine so the next person gets a freebie. It's just nice to be nice. Doesn't have to be grand gestures.

[DJFish]

Smitters said:

I do it, when I can.

There's someone at my work who occasionally leaves their change, or sticks a quid in the vending machine so the next person gets a freebie. It's just nice to be nice. Doesn't have to be grand gestures.

That would have the opposite effect on me, I'd be worried that someone had forgotten their change or was on their way back to complete their purchase & I'd be wracked with anguish & doubt for weeks, why would you do that to a complete stranger?