American prison stories

[GappySmeg]

Please post something cloak... this thread is now like when you've been in a group in the pub, but the interesting charasmatic guy has struck up a conversation on another table and you've got stuck in a corner with a nerd, a career accountant and a 35 year old virgin who lives with his cats.

[TheJimi]

Badda said:

CharlesdeGaulle said:

I think most of the thoughtful contributors here have a moral compass, thank you very much.
Your use of the terms fawning and convicted scum about threads that reflect life changing effects for those in them makes me think that your compass might just be slightly off.

Drug dealing, financial fraud & driving like a prat. I’m safe. I’m. I’m not being high and mighty here - I just think are undesirable people (would you want one as a neighbour for example) who are almost worshipped on here just because find their stories interesting.
Prison is a foul place which is largely full of foul people.

Edited by Badda on Thursday 1st November 06:15

Oh look, here's Badda spouting the same st he spouted on TVR's thread.

Stop for a minute and actually read what is being written rather than what you so desperately want to see written.

No-one is worshiping anyone, we are merely finding it an interesting insight into a world that is very alien to the vast majority of us.

Edit: actually, show me a single quote that demonstrates the worshiping & fawning of the OP.

Just one quote.

Edited by TheJimi on Thursday 8th November 15:28

[Ayahuasca]

GappySmeg said:

Please post something cloak... this thread is now like when you've been in a group in the pub, but the interesting charasmatic guy has struck up a conversation on another table and you've got stuck in a corner with a nerd, a career accountant and a 35 year old virgin who lives with his cats.

Which one are you?




Is the OP still inside does anyone know?

[Blib]

Ayahuasca said:

Is the OP still inside does anyone know?

No.

HTH.

[phil_cardiff]

johnwilliams77 said:

Kermit power said:

It's a thread of stories about prison on which the OP contributes posts which, whilst very interesting, are also very sporadic. I don't really see how others talking about the differences between UK an US penal policy and the rights/wrongs of each system in the interim really counts as taking the thread off track?

Me either - perhaps we should run all of our posts past 'phil_cardiff' before posting?!

I'd rather you didn't, it's bad enough having to read them once.

[Kneetrembler]

phil_cardiff said:

I'd rather you didn't, it's bad enough having to read them once.

PMSL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[CloaK]

Ayahuasca said:

People can find themselves on the wrong side of US law and extradited to the USA if they are a UK person and do stuff in the UK that is perfectly legal in the UK.

I was handed a circa 400 count indictment, count means charges. Something like 95% of them were considered by legal team and accepted by the UK judiciary as un-extraditable, ie there was no dual criminality. A simple UK law change and a few months transactions saw me become 'scum'.

I accept this though and I am not crying, I should have taken a more sensible 'I am not untouchable' approach but hindsight is an expensive commodity.

[CloaK]

djcube said:

Fascinating thread, I do hope there will be more stories. As well as the OP's experiences in gaol I would like to hear how his crime affected his family and friends, that is to say relationships with these. Who were the victims, corporate or individual, this could have a major effect on how I feel about the stories.

These are very reasonable questions

Obviously the effect on my family was devastating especially my mother. Not so my father as this kind of made us quits, absolutely nothing to do with criminality I must say however .Long unnecessary story.

Friends, well I lost a few good ones. Maybe they weren't as good as I thought. The best one I had is no longer here. st.

Victims - IMO none. Only beneficiaries, could be slightly arguable but only slightly

[LaurasOtherHalf]

CloaK said:

Victims - IMO none. Only beneficiaries, could be slightly arguable but only slightly

Can you go into more detail on that thought process pls?

Enjoying the read btw

[FiF]

Ayahuasca said:

GappySmeg said:

Please post something cloak... this thread is now like when you've been in a group in the pub, but the interesting charasmatic guy has struck up a conversation on another table and you've got stuck in a corner with a nerd, a career accountant and a 35 year old virgin who lives with his cats.

Which one are you?

My guess is the cat known as Mr Fluffy Boots

[simoid]

FiF said:

Ayahuasca said:

GappySmeg said:

Please post something cloak... this thread is now like when you've been in a group in the pub, but the interesting charasmatic guy has struck up a conversation on another table and you've got stuck in a corner with a nerd, a career accountant and a 35 year old virgin who lives with his cats.

Which one are you?

My guess is the cat known as Mr Fluffy Boots

Glad the guy with all the cats is still a virgin...

Fawning:

Thanks for posting, OP. Intriguing reading.

/fawning

[CloaK]

Greg66 said:

I drove through Fresno August before last. 41 degrees in the middle of the afternoon. Is the jail air conditioned, or do they just let you bake?

It was air-conditioned so that wasn't really the problem with Fresno.

Almost everything else was. I'll make a post shortly.

[CloaK]

Fresno County Jail Part 1



After 2 weeks at Kern County Jail me and the two paisas from California City were rolled up to go to Fresno.

Just before I left, Leprechaun, the Skinhead shot-caller gave me some good advice. Watch out for the Fresno Bulldogs, a Mexican gang who you don't really want to fk with.

After a two hour drive we rock up at Fresno and the usual booking in process begins. I get my packed lunch in a paper bag, usual fare.

Then the cop behind the counter hands me my uniform and a bed roll. I get dressed out, hand my gear in and then proceed to at least try and get some sustenance from the packed lunch.

Apart from the two paisas there's this other cat in there, looked a bit out of it. Had a large 'Fresno' tattoo right across his neck. Anyway as I'm opening my bag to get some food, he approaches me and tells me to 'Shut the fk up'. Now I was mindful of the fact he could've been a Bulldog, hard to tell, I erred on the side of caution and just assumed he was so didn't make anything of it.

Shortly after he asks one of the paisas to borrow a towel so he could grab a shower, the paisas said no. This is when the penny dropped for me, this dude was no Bulldog as he woud have just taken the towel. I delved back into my paper lunch bag and then he approaches me again and says 'I thought I told you to STFU'.

I know that weight isn't the be-all but for what I had in mind it would come in handy, I was about 220 and Fresno guy about 150. So after I quickly dropped my bag I shoulder barged him right into the shower wall, I kept a hold of him but he just went limp and slid down the wall unconscious. I sort of sat him up against the wall after and then turned to the two paisas who went with my story that he just passed out from street drugs.

After a few hours wait we get the nod to go up to the pods. I eneter mine and the noise is something else, the pods have 72 bunks, 14x3 on the bottom floor and 10x3 on the top. I'm immediately approached by a Wood, Mario who asks my bunk number and then helps me make my bed. He shows me the toilets and showers, as the picture shows there are 4 open stters and one urinal. He explained that when you need to use the bowls, use 1 skip 2, use 3 and skip 4. All for a little privacy! I could actually see the worn footmarks on Traps 1 and 3.



Two open showers at the back but were rarely used as there was no hot water. These facilities were for 72 men.

I quickly got into a program of Chess and Pinochle, one of the upshots of doing a bit of time is that you tend to become quite good at these.

I remeber at the Chess table there was a guy who was beating everyone and challenged me to a game, some of the old-timers had seen me play and said "Ah here comes the British guy, now he ain't no joke!" "Yeah, he know what time it is"

More from Fresno later.

Edited by CloaK on Thursday 23 July 19:59

Edited by CloaK on Thursday 23 July 20:01

[CloaK]

Swampy1982 said:

I've just read from start to finish and I have enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing. Please don't let those casting moral judgement stop you from sharing. I look forward to the next update.

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it so far. It is somewhat cathartic for me to write about this.

Not everyone will like it but that's cool and I get that. However to accuse other posters of 'fawning' and 'worshipping' is, to be charitable, nonsense and pretty lame really.

[Sebo]

Thanks for coming back to the thread and sharing more of your story, it’s sobering.

[Swampy1982]

CloaK said:

Swampy1982 said:

I've just read from start to finish and I have enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing. Please don't let those casting moral judgement stop you from sharing. I look forward to the next update.

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it so far. It is somewhat cathartic for me to write about this.

Not everyone will like it but that's cool and I get that. However to accuse other posters of 'fawning' and 'worshipping' is, to be charitable, nonsense and pretty lame really.

Still here, still reading...

Who won the chess match!?!

[CloaK]

Swampy1982 said:

Still here, still reading...

Who won the chess match!?!

From memory I won 4 or 5 with no reply. To be fair this was at the end of my stretch and I'd had a good grounding from Yasser Seirawan through his books.

I also studied Nimzowitch from his books 'My System' and 'Praxis'

Over the years I won 4 prison tournaments.

Edited by CloaK on Thursday 23 July 19:55

[Ructions]

I've enjoyed reading your posts, probably because I have an idea of what you've been through. Feck the begrudgers, have a great Christmas and keep the updates coming.
I learned to play chess inside, but got absolutely schooled by a champion draughts player, this guy took what I believed to be nothing more than a kids board game (draughts) to a different level. Cost me quite a few Mars bars, but was well worth it for the educational value alone.
I suppose we all have our stories.

[GappySmeg]

FiF said:

Ayahuasca said:

GappySmeg said:

Please post something cloak... this thread is now like when you've been in a group in the pub, but the interesting charasmatic guy has struck up a conversation on another table and you've got stuck in a corner with a nerd, a career accountant and a 35 year old virgin who lives with his cats.

Which one are you?

My guess is the cat known as Mr Fluffy Boots

Don't be ridiculous... Tiddles Tickle Tum is the moniker I go by.

CloaK said:

I know that weight isn't the be-all but for what I had in mind it would come in handy, I was about 220 and Fresno guy about 150. So after I quickly dropped my bag I shoulder barged him right into the shower wall, I kept a hold of him but he just went limp and slid down the wall unconscious.

This is the first time you've mentioned having to get physical. Up until now I've had the impression you were a professional at keeping your head down. Were you 'handy' before you went to prison, or was this something you just had to rise to?

[CloaK]

GappySmeg said:

This is the first time you've mentioned having to get physical. Up until now I've had the impression you were a professional at keeping your head down. Were you 'handy' before you went to prison, or was this something you just had to rise to?

That's an accurate impression, I tried as much as I could to avoid physical confrontations. If you're caught fighting then it's a straight 30 days lost and a spell in the SHU.

If it wasn't for the 2 paisas who were in the holding tank and who I'd be going back to prison with I may have just ignored the cat.

However I knew that if I did nothing word would get back to the yard and that may have been problematic.

Was I handy before prison? not really, the last fight I was in was about 15 years ago after one of my friends was assaulted on a night out.