B*tch tried to kill me!

B*tch tried to kill me!

Author
Discussion

NuddyRap

Original Poster:

218 posts

102 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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We say every drive is an event, but this one a little more so.

A sunny, peaceful day in Coventry driving. The road conditions were dry, traction good, macro-smooth micro-rough type surface, visibility excellent, the temperature approximately 17 degrees and after a long morning of sitting in traffic, I could tell the Cerbera was a bit fed up.

Relentlessly hunting its way through the traffic of the early morning rabbit runs like an evil Elmer Fudd with banging shotgun sounds every few yards, generating wafts of hot air that, had I the ability to channel it in to the cockpit could surely have been sufficient to lift the car for flight, it sat emitting a fuel ridden stench not even the neighbouring lorries and coaches could match. It yearned for some clear road and made sure everybody knew of its unfair treatment rage.

Leaving the equally maddenning M6, achieving a speed measurable in miles per the hour instead of feet per week, straining at the leash I decided to let the beast run.

An island off the A46 preceeded by a white sign with a black line on it signified the beginning of Cerbera running territory. There was an Astra in the mid-distance occupying the right hand lane like a zoo tortoise creeping along an enclosure wall, I judged there to be room for ~60% 2nd gear throttle...

The Cerbera decided it was time for full throttle. Instantly. Permanent, instant full throttle after snapping its throttle cable and yanking the bracket clean off. Without anything to anchor the spring it recoiled in that same instant, wrenching open the gates for approximately 420 of Blackpool's angriest steroid fed donkeys.

Approaching the back of the Astra like a rocket propelled cheetah that fancied speed as a means of cracking open the tortoise's shell, I cut the clutch in and braked hard. Avoiding colision by taking to the left hand lane, clutch still in and the rev limiter struggling to prolong the life of the engine, the beast left me with no choice but to hit the kill button and put it to sleep - after observing that there was so much run off room I wouldn't need to brake again .

Coasting to a stop, trapped in a live 70mph lane requiring the police to cordon off a lane for recovery so that I could escape, I had to endure taunts of "Plastic pig" and "Well it's a TVR", from the attending officers.

Now it's in the hands of Dom, who assures me I should still try talking to it nicely for a few weeks until the rebuild cursecensoredbigmouth (that it needed anyway).

So to summarise today's little story: The fcensoredg scariest experience I've ever had in a censored car. Thank censored I'm a censored calm headed advanced driver. I still censoredcensored myself. My censored neck hurts. More censored money. That censored thing. censored. How the censored I'm alive I don't censored know. So censored lucky.

mad


Revvit

333 posts

118 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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Holy censored !

ClassiChimi

12,424 posts

148 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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A very serious situation shared with such good humour, well done that man.
fk st bks, bd car,,, the fact you didn't total the poor mans Astra is a blessing,, wink
Again good driving brain kicking in and doing what you have to, sounds like you saved a bad accident so thank your stars for that I suppose.
All's well that ends well.

Supateg

724 posts

141 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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This is the best post I've ever read on here.

Thank you for sharing a loss of one of your nine life's

Glad your alive to tell the tale.




Matthew Poxon

5,329 posts

172 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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Well done for avoiding disaster, that does sound fking scary!

DCerebrate

339 posts

109 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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When the throttle stuck open on my MG ZS110 on a third gear overtake, that was enough to send the heart pounding. Fortunately sorted by coming out of gear and reaching down to pull up the pedal. In a 420bhp beast in 2nd gear, I can't even imagine what it must have been like.........three headed hell-dog pulling along its owner! Anyway it all ended well. What did the Astra driver make of it all - or did they just sail off into the distance?!

Bluebottle

3,498 posts

239 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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Glad you and the car serviced intact...I've hard two throttle cables snap on WOT so know how scary that is...I've also got pretty good at hitting the kill switch damn quick smile

ukkid35

6,138 posts

172 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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Bluebottle said:
Glad you and the car serviced intact...I've hard two throttle cables snap on WOT so know how scary that is...I've also got pretty good at hitting the kill switch damn quick smile
Me too, but nevertheless, you don't want it to happen at WOT in 2nd in a Cerb (and if it's damp as well that's definitely lives = lives - 1 )

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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NuddyRap said:
My censored neck hurts
You think you've got problems? My censored brain hurts...smile




PS...I know EXACTLY how you felt.

Happened to me once...



















































In a Morris 1100...

getmecoat



JezF

326 posts

227 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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Happened to an instructor I knew at Hethal in a 340R - crashed as a result.

Sounds like you were fairly fortunate!

purpleliability

627 posts

184 months

Wednesday 25th May 2016
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I've had this happen too.... At 1.2leptons in 4th (!) Went for 5th and the revs soared!

You need 'rather a lot' of space to haul them down from that kind of velocity and the steering is rather heavy too...

Well done for keeping it sticky side down!

TvrJohn

1,058 posts

254 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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Well held that man, epic save

relax

gruffalo

7,509 posts

225 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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Had this, caused by a frayed cable.

Best thing is to just hit the red button but leave the car in gear, as the engine is being turned by the rear wheels it provides vacuum for the brakes and keeps turning the PAS pump all while slowing you down in a nice controlled manor.


Boosted LS1

21,165 posts

259 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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I had similar in a TT trv8. I was running with a holley carb and road testing it on a bypass, a long bypass. To cut a long story short it wouldn't shut down even after I'd killed the ignition. It stopped when the float bowls emptied. That was the scariest day of my life without a doubt and it was lucky that the A610 in Notts is a long DC.

Incognegro

1,560 posts

132 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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OMG Im trying to think of anything that could have caused this as if it was totally out of the blue Im thinking do I get into mine again??!

Glad you held it and are still with us.

Twinkam

2,936 posts

94 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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Incognegro said:
OMG Im trying to think of anything that could have caused this as if it was totally out of the blue Im thinking do I get into mine again??!
Best not risk it. I'll take it off your hands... £10K wink

ukkid35

6,138 posts

172 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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gruffalo said:
Best thing is to just hit the red button but leave the car in gear, as the engine is being turned by the rear wheels it provides vacuum for the brakes and keeps turning the PAS pump all while slowing you down in a nice controlled manor.
Absolutely. But I've always been puzzled by the runaway car scenarios regularly reported in the US. Can you actually kill the ignition in all modern cars?

Twinkam

2,936 posts

94 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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ukkid35 said:
Absolutely. But I've always been puzzled by the runaway car scenarios regularly reported in the US. Can you actually kill the ignition in all modern cars?
You can turn the ignition off, which will kill fuel pump and sparks (unless the ignition relays are stuck shut) but that won't stop a diesel that's running on its own oil (eg due to blown turbo oil seals)... it will run until the sump's empty or you manage to stall it (which you can't with an auto) or suffocate it (rag over inlet, but the thing's at max rpm and will try to ingest the rag!).
However, I think the vast majority of 'runaways' are of the 'hit-the-wrong-pedal' type. And Stateside they only have a choice of two!

Incognegro

1,560 posts

132 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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ukkid35 said:
gruffalo said:
Best thing is to just hit the red button but leave the car in gear, as the engine is being turned by the rear wheels it provides vacuum for the brakes and keeps turning the PAS pump all while slowing you down in a nice controlled manor.
Absolutely. But I've always been puzzled by the runaway car scenarios regularly reported in the US. Can you actually kill the ignition in all modern cars?
Sounds like best advice. However would the best thing be to just turn the "silver key" to off? This isolates the fuel pump and kills the engine completely. I had what we could call the opposite (After leaving Doms funnily enough)... I was pelting along hit a slight bump while turning lights on something???? disturbed the said key slightly and I had absolutely no drive. I made it across to a safe zone where the slip road meets the motorway and sh4t my pants. so even with foot down when the silver key says no there was nothing. My key will next be changed for a latching push button with nice blue angel halo LED wink

That was scary but I rather be losing drive (even if in fast lane at the time) than being in a Torpedo let loose.

Incognegro

1,560 posts

132 months

Thursday 26th May 2016
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Twinkam said:
Best not risk it. I'll take it off your hands... £10K wink
Haha well played mate... but at only £10k, Ive thought about that scenario (usually after Ive been on a drive) and no joke you would have to add a zero to that figure and then we may be able to negotiate upwards.

I found myself wanting a GTR but I was crazy the Cerb isn't going anywhere, my new compromise is keep the Cerb and add an SL55 for top down cruising... but now with Doms 4.7SS soon to be here I know where my first bag of cash is going.

Apologies for straying off topic. But I believe the silver key has the final word, in my experience??? Im an amateur in knowledge so please do correct me guys.