Getting a lift off a bad driver
Discussion
I am currently in a friend's car on a long trip. The standard of driving is... not good. But, good manners and a wish not to be known as a wannabe-driving instructor have prevented me saying much apart from "I think your lane merges here", "I'm not sure you should stop on the motorway, perhaps there is a gap further down for you" and odd yelps.
So, do you point out driving faults to someone giving you a lift?
So, do you point out driving faults to someone giving you a lift?
Just say it, sod being polite!
Was in a client’s car recently who attempted to turn onto the wrong side of a dual carriageway, ignoring the no entry sign. Me “No don’t go up there that’s the junction for traffic to leave not join” , Him “Oh my god, sorry”.
There’s being polite and then there’s staying alive…
Was in a client’s car recently who attempted to turn onto the wrong side of a dual carriageway, ignoring the no entry sign. Me “No don’t go up there that’s the junction for traffic to leave not join” , Him “Oh my god, sorry”.
There’s being polite and then there’s staying alive…
Being British, criticising the driver is going be a no-no so you're going to have to be more subtle:
Discuss your sudden interest in life insurance policy options.
Shout out 'Brace, brace, brace' at appropriate moments.
Whisper Hail Marys under your breath.
Start looking for extra seat belts or enquire about the airbag set up
Pop a crash helmet on
I really hate being a passenger.
Discuss your sudden interest in life insurance policy options.
Shout out 'Brace, brace, brace' at appropriate moments.
Whisper Hail Marys under your breath.
Start looking for extra seat belts or enquire about the airbag set up
Pop a crash helmet on
I really hate being a passenger.
If its a friend, I won't really mention anything unless its something potentially dangerous. Otherwise they just assume its some sort of competitive thing and then try being critical whenever they are a passenger in my car.
If its a taxi driver - LOL. Its to be expected! Anything you say will go in one ear and straight out of the other. After all, they have probably blind-lucked their way through the streets of London with their bad standards for years before they took you on-board.
For family members, I'll mention it in a subtle way. ie. I suggested that my Sister cold use Lane 1 all the way home on the A13, and she told me she never knew that she was supposed to stay in Lane 1 as she was always taught to stick to Lane 2!
If its a taxi driver - LOL. Its to be expected! Anything you say will go in one ear and straight out of the other. After all, they have probably blind-lucked their way through the streets of London with their bad standards for years before they took you on-board.
For family members, I'll mention it in a subtle way. ie. I suggested that my Sister cold use Lane 1 all the way home on the A13, and she told me she never knew that she was supposed to stay in Lane 1 as she was always taught to stick to Lane 2!
Games or film on phone / tablet.
Book or magazine to read.
Couple of beers to nod off to sleep (however not so many as to constantly need a pee)
Any of the above to ensure that I'm blissfully unaware and relaxed at the point of impact, impending doom.
I used to lift share with a driver that was intolerable behind the wheel. Not unsafe, or dangerous, however just substandard at controlling a car.
I nicknamed him "TRON", as like in the film with the scene on the motorbikes, all of his inputs were binary, sharp and unnecessarily pronounced. It was just uncomfortable to be in a car with him, and in wintery icy conditions downright unnerving.
Book or magazine to read.
Couple of beers to nod off to sleep (however not so many as to constantly need a pee)
Any of the above to ensure that I'm blissfully unaware and relaxed at the point of impact, impending doom.
I used to lift share with a driver that was intolerable behind the wheel. Not unsafe, or dangerous, however just substandard at controlling a car.
I nicknamed him "TRON", as like in the film with the scene on the motorbikes, all of his inputs were binary, sharp and unnecessarily pronounced. It was just uncomfortable to be in a car with him, and in wintery icy conditions downright unnerving.
A couple of people I know fall into this category and I try to keep quiet but self preservation normally takes over depending on how far we are going.
There is the one who needs to "get in the zone". His words not mine and his driving is terrible. It does improve after a while but he thinks the throttle pedal has two positions and is a on off switch so his progress is anything but smooth. The state of his wheels and mirrors also echo my point.
The worse bit is he genuinely thinks of himself as being a better than average driver.
The other is downright dangerous. Has accidents with a shocking frequency that are usually hitting a parked car/stationary object and claiming not to have seen it.
I don't accept lifts from him often but on every occasion has involved grabbing the steering wheel and steering away from parked cars/walls/kerbs as he just doesn't seem to care/notice.
Best bit he doesn't even really comment when people have to take action for him.
I am not the only one who cant believe how he drives as one of his other friends who I didn't know at the time approached me and asked if he drove like that all the time.
He is on really good terms with the local bodyshop as his car/van normally ends up with front/corner damage at least every month.
The one thing that gets me with him is how he doesn't hit more than he does. I cant work out how he passed his test that's for sure.
There is the one who needs to "get in the zone". His words not mine and his driving is terrible. It does improve after a while but he thinks the throttle pedal has two positions and is a on off switch so his progress is anything but smooth. The state of his wheels and mirrors also echo my point.
The worse bit is he genuinely thinks of himself as being a better than average driver.
The other is downright dangerous. Has accidents with a shocking frequency that are usually hitting a parked car/stationary object and claiming not to have seen it.
I don't accept lifts from him often but on every occasion has involved grabbing the steering wheel and steering away from parked cars/walls/kerbs as he just doesn't seem to care/notice.
Best bit he doesn't even really comment when people have to take action for him.
I am not the only one who cant believe how he drives as one of his other friends who I didn't know at the time approached me and asked if he drove like that all the time.
He is on really good terms with the local bodyshop as his car/van normally ends up with front/corner damage at least every month.
The one thing that gets me with him is how he doesn't hit more than he does. I cant work out how he passed his test that's for sure.
donkmeister said:
So, do you point out driving faults to someone giving you a lift?
No, because I'm British and it's just not the done thing old boy. Being the skilled, accomplished, experienced and generally perfect driver what I am, I make the world's worst passenger. Constantly applying the invisible (and ineffectual) passenger brake, thinking "No, you should be in that lane", checking the mirrors that they aren't checking, holding onto the Jesus handle etc. But never actually saying anything.
laters said:
A couple of people I know fall into this category and I try to keep quiet but self preservation normally takes over depending on how far we are going.
There is the one who needs to "get in the zone". His words not mine and his driving is terrible. It does improve after a while but he thinks the throttle pedal has two positions and is a on off switch so his progress is anything but smooth. The state of his wheels and mirrors also echo my point.
The worse bit is he genuinely thinks of himself as being a better than average driver.
The other is downright dangerous. Has accidents with a shocking frequency that are usually hitting a parked car/stationary object and claiming not to have seen it.
I don't accept lifts from him often but on every occasion has involved grabbing the steering wheel and steering away from parked cars/walls/kerbs as he just doesn't seem to care/notice.
Best bit he doesn't even really comment when people have to take action for him.
I am not the only one who cant believe how he drives as one of his other friends who I didn't know at the time approached me and asked if he drove like that all the time.
He is on really good terms with the local bodyshop as his car/van normally ends up with front/corner damage at least every month.
The one thing that gets me with him is how he doesn't hit more than he does. I cant work out how he passed his test that's for sure.
All very interesting round the fireside this is an emergency and our OP is looking for quickly deployable, real world advice that will effectively deal with this issue. Viz my earlier post. There is scarcely a real world scenario out there where threats and immediate incontinent defecation won't yield the desired outcome There is the one who needs to "get in the zone". His words not mine and his driving is terrible. It does improve after a while but he thinks the throttle pedal has two positions and is a on off switch so his progress is anything but smooth. The state of his wheels and mirrors also echo my point.
The worse bit is he genuinely thinks of himself as being a better than average driver.
The other is downright dangerous. Has accidents with a shocking frequency that are usually hitting a parked car/stationary object and claiming not to have seen it.
I don't accept lifts from him often but on every occasion has involved grabbing the steering wheel and steering away from parked cars/walls/kerbs as he just doesn't seem to care/notice.
Best bit he doesn't even really comment when people have to take action for him.
I am not the only one who cant believe how he drives as one of his other friends who I didn't know at the time approached me and asked if he drove like that all the time.
He is on really good terms with the local bodyshop as his car/van normally ends up with front/corner damage at least every month.
The one thing that gets me with him is how he doesn't hit more than he does. I cant work out how he passed his test that's for sure.
Depends on how bad.
My mum drives unnecessarily slowly, uses the wrong gear all the time (setting off in second and hanging on to third for dear life), and thinks brakes are on or off. She is not a good driver, but not dangerous. I keep my mouth shut and let her pay for the clutches and head gaskets.
My mother in law got a mouth full for passing someone with L plates on a 50cc scooter within inches when there was on coming traffic. She pays no attention to whats going on, spends half her time looking at her passengers and chatting to them. She is a danger. I have said something and now refuse to get in the car with her.
If someone truly is a danger it would be wrong not to tell them IMO, as they could kill themselves or someone else.
Stopping on a motorway is in the need telling category. Stopping on the hard shoulder without an emergency is not only illegal but incredibly dangerous.
Surely everyone has a point at which they say something?
My mum drives unnecessarily slowly, uses the wrong gear all the time (setting off in second and hanging on to third for dear life), and thinks brakes are on or off. She is not a good driver, but not dangerous. I keep my mouth shut and let her pay for the clutches and head gaskets.
My mother in law got a mouth full for passing someone with L plates on a 50cc scooter within inches when there was on coming traffic. She pays no attention to whats going on, spends half her time looking at her passengers and chatting to them. She is a danger. I have said something and now refuse to get in the car with her.
If someone truly is a danger it would be wrong not to tell them IMO, as they could kill themselves or someone else.
Stopping on a motorway is in the need telling category. Stopping on the hard shoulder without an emergency is not only illegal but incredibly dangerous.
Surely everyone has a point at which they say something?
It's a very difficult one as I've found when travelling as a passenger in someone's car who is a bad drive, I end up concentrating so hard I get genuine car sickness.
I recall a trip to Goodwood in a friend's diesel Megane and he kept putting his foot down so you'd get that diesel surge then gear change and to make it worse, coming up to every stop was down through the gears. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 with a jolt for every gear, no block changes and no smoothness. It wrote my day off as I ended up feeling really rough. I was polite though as he wasn't unsafe just not particularly good at driving.
I think unless I felt as if I was in danger I'd probably just be polite and put up with it.
I did used to car share to work with someone who was utterly awful at driving. It was like he passed his test and then 4 years down the line had just never ever got better. We did the same 6-7 miles journey every day and yet he would go in a different lane one day to the next so end up cutting someone up or being cut up. He'd pull out without judging people's speed etc. Quite literally no awareness of what he really doing. Every day I'd get in the car and tell myself, 'We're only doing 30, it's not life threatening' as every single day I expected we'd have an accident.
I recall a trip to Goodwood in a friend's diesel Megane and he kept putting his foot down so you'd get that diesel surge then gear change and to make it worse, coming up to every stop was down through the gears. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 with a jolt for every gear, no block changes and no smoothness. It wrote my day off as I ended up feeling really rough. I was polite though as he wasn't unsafe just not particularly good at driving.
I think unless I felt as if I was in danger I'd probably just be polite and put up with it.
I did used to car share to work with someone who was utterly awful at driving. It was like he passed his test and then 4 years down the line had just never ever got better. We did the same 6-7 miles journey every day and yet he would go in a different lane one day to the next so end up cutting someone up or being cut up. He'd pull out without judging people's speed etc. Quite literally no awareness of what he really doing. Every day I'd get in the car and tell myself, 'We're only doing 30, it's not life threatening' as every single day I expected we'd have an accident.
I once had the pleasure of a passenger ride in a chap called Crazy Mike's car. I won't bore you with how he got that name. It was night time and a bit drizzly, and I assume we were going out to buy beer given we were both in our first year at university and living in the same halls. I sat in the passenger seat of his red Rover 200 hatch with mild fear of what was to come. The engine's cough into life was followed by extreme revs in neutral before a gear was finally engaged. Then the car stalled. "Bloody car," he said in a thick Birmingham accent. "It's always doing this, I think it's knackered." I sat there in silence. Having cobbled together the skill to bimble along to the exit of the campus, Crazy Mike prepared to pull out onto the main road.
The car groaned as revs and clutch were mashed together, and the poor old 200 began to move very slowly, before bogging down and stalling again. "See, there it goes again." As the car rolled along at a few mph, it was once again started on the key, before chugging along at what felt like 300rpm until the revs began to settle and progress began. Crazy Mike had tried to set off in 4th gear.
And during this whole episode, the screen was completely misted up except for a small area directly in front of his head that he had pawed with his sleeve.
The car groaned as revs and clutch were mashed together, and the poor old 200 began to move very slowly, before bogging down and stalling again. "See, there it goes again." As the car rolled along at a few mph, it was once again started on the key, before chugging along at what felt like 300rpm until the revs began to settle and progress began. Crazy Mike had tried to set off in 4th gear.
And during this whole episode, the screen was completely misted up except for a small area directly in front of his head that he had pawed with his sleeve.
Two incidents spring to mind, once in the passenger seat of a generally excellent driver, I had to grab the hand brake to prevent us rear ending a van. In that instance I think my mate would have preferred the crash, it was very obvious my intervention stung his pride although neither of us mentioned it at the time or since.
Another occasion, early hours driving back from London I was in the back and we were approaching the car ahead a little too quickly, I looked the rear view mirror and the driver had dozed off. I just said his name and he woke up and avoided the collision, he was pretty apologetic and shook up.
I'm never full relaxed as a passenger, good thing really, but don't actually remember criticizing bar my daughter who I taught to drive so that's allowed and I'm sure she appreciates it
Another occasion, early hours driving back from London I was in the back and we were approaching the car ahead a little too quickly, I looked the rear view mirror and the driver had dozed off. I just said his name and he woke up and avoided the collision, he was pretty apologetic and shook up.
I'm never full relaxed as a passenger, good thing really, but don't actually remember criticizing bar my daughter who I taught to drive so that's allowed and I'm sure she appreciates it
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