Divorcing empty nesters...

Divorcing empty nesters...

Author
Discussion

klmhcp

247 posts

91 months

Wednesday 12th October 2016
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singlecoil said:
klmhcp said:
In your analogy you would needed to have esperienced what it feels like to ride a bicycle without a helmet on before you lectures on the cost-benefit of it.
This illustrates where you are going wrong. I didn't say anything about the cost/benefit, I simply pointed out that there was an increased risk of injury.

I've obviously touched a nerve with my original point, I can only think your super-sensitivity and misunderstanding has been caused by the decision to have children being made not by you, but for you. Initially you were against the idea, but when the first child arrived nature took over and the 'greatest joy of your life' arrived. Good for you.
Nope, not the case.

julian64

14,317 posts

253 months

Wednesday 12th October 2016
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PAUL500 said:
I take offence at your use of the word "fantasy" when you no nothing of the matters directly being discussed. Yes there are always two sides to a story, but to clarify in my case, social services did not seek to put my daughter into care, my ex wife actually unilaterally contacted them and sought a section 20 voluntary agreement to put her into a care home, therefore they were compelled to investigate. However without my agreement that could not be forced through.

Social services then confirmed there were not he grounds for them to apply for a care order via the courts.

They then brokered an agreement with my ex signed whereby my daughter would come to live with me, but when I took this back to the courts to have the financial order amended to reflect this need she then backed right out of it, as it would have triggered the required barder event.

The judge said it was not a legal document she signed so he could not make her comply with it, therefore the barder event had not happened, therefore no grounds for the application, therefore I have to pay her legal fees!

Within two weeks she was back onto social services trying to offload my daughter yet again, but this time trying to get them to do it in court against my will .......the saga continues, thats where I am at the moment.

My daughter in the meantime has rung the police on numerous occasions making allegations against my ex but they wont listen to her and she has run away from home at least 3 times, they just keep finding her and taking her back.

As you will see from the time stamp its is 4.50 in the morning as I am typing this, I have been awake since 3am, not been able to have a full nights sleep in months.


Edited by PAUL500 on Wednesday 12th October 04:51
The opening of my post was intentional vague and indirect because how am I possibly to know the details of your case?

You have intimate knowledge of you case, but the whole SWT thing on this thread needs to be challenged.

And in my experience the whole 'social workers ignore the obvious place for my child to be best cared for' is very rare.

Tony 1234

3,465 posts

226 months

Wednesday 12th October 2016
quotequote all
julian64 said:
PAUL500 said:
I take offence at your use of the word "fantasy" when you no nothing of the matters directly being discussed. Yes there are always two sides to a story, but to clarify in my case, social services did not seek to put my daughter into care, my ex wife actually unilaterally contacted them and sought a section 20 voluntary agreement to put her into a care home, therefore they were compelled to investigate. However without my agreement that could not be forced through.

Social services then confirmed there were not he grounds for them to apply for a care order via the courts.

They then brokered an agreement with my ex signed whereby my daughter would come to live with me, but when I took this back to the courts to have the financial order amended to reflect this need she then backed right out of it, as it would have triggered the required barder event.

The judge said it was not a legal document she signed so he could not make her comply with it, therefore the barder event had not happened, therefore no grounds for the application, therefore I have to pay her legal fees!

Within two weeks she was back onto social services trying to offload my daughter yet again, but this time trying to get them to do it in court against my will .......the saga continues, thats where I am at the moment.

My daughter in the meantime has rung the police on numerous occasions making allegations against my ex but they wont listen to her and she has run away from home at least 3 times, they just keep finding her and taking her back.

As you will see from the time stamp its is 4.50 in the morning as I am typing this, I have been awake since 3am, not been able to have a full nights sleep in months.


Edited by PAUL500 on Wednesday 12th October 04:51
And in my experience the whole 'social workers ignore the obvious place for my child to be best cared for' is very rare.
From experience I strongly disagree with you, with respect you don't seem to know what you're talking about (sorry)

aww999

2,068 posts

260 months

Wednesday 12th October 2016
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TheLordJohn said:
klmhcp said:
I don't preach to them about how they really should have children
Well you must be one of one, then.
My wife is 32, me, 28 and ALL we get, week in, week out, is ste from other adults telling us how great our lives would be if we had kids.
Personally, I think they know the fked up, and want to trap us into the same mistake!
I think you are at least partially right. Stick to your guns, you will be trading present and future freedoms for a huge amount of expense and stress with very little in return.

zarjaz1991

3,471 posts

122 months

Wednesday 12th October 2016
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aww999 said:
I think you are at least partially right. Stick to your guns, you will be trading present and future freedoms for a huge amount of expense and stress with very little in return.
I am someone who will never have children, partly for those reasons, but I have to say that what you describe isn't how it is for everyone. For somepeople it really it a joy - it's just that it wouldn't be for me personally.

bucksmanuk

2,311 posts

169 months

Wednesday 12th October 2016
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steveatesh said:
Elements of gynocentric culture existing today are derived from practices originating in medieval society such as feudalism, chivalry and courtly love that continue to inform contemporary society in subtle ways. Peter Wright refers to such gynocentric patters as constituting a “sexual feudalism,” as attested by female writers like Lucrezia Marinella who in 1600 AD recounted that women of lower socioeconomic classes were treated as superiors by men who acted as servants or beasts born to serve them, or by Modesta Pozzo who in 1590 wrote;

“don’t we see that men’s rightful task is to go out to work and wear themselves out trying to accumulate wealth, as though they were our factors or stewards, so that we can remain at home like the lady of the house directing their work and enjoying the profit of their labors? That, if you like, is the reason why men are naturally stronger and more robust than us — they need to be, so they can put up with the hard labor they must endure in our service.”

I came across an article that gave many examples of gynocentrism in mainstream society, but includes things like an education system that favours girls, health spend, criminal justice, family law, suicide rates, acceptance of male deaths at work etc etc, all of which disadvantage men and boys and favour women and girls. Hidden gynocentrism in action. I'll try and find it again.
A good place to start....
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-Racket-science-expl... thought provoking but veers off into silliness towards the end
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Who-Stole-Feminism-Women-...
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Venus-Dark-Side-Roy-Shepp...

klmhcp

247 posts

91 months

Friday 14th October 2016
quotequote all
zarjaz1991 said:
aww999 said:
I think you are at least partially right. Stick to your guns, you will be trading present and future freedoms for a huge amount of expense and stress with very little in return.
I am someone who will never have children, partly for those reasons, but I have to say that what you describe isn't how it is for everyone. For somepeople it really it a joy - it's just that it wouldn't be for me personally.
No way you'd know either though.

BigMon

4,155 posts

128 months

Friday 14th October 2016
quotequote all
klmhcp said:
No way you'd know either though.
I'm 43 and have never, ever wanted kids. I'm quite happy to not have them and have come to the conclusion that if I have never felt the desire to have them by 43 then I will never have that desire.

Sorry if that doesn't fit into your world view. Some of us feel like that.

singlecoil

33,313 posts

245 months

Friday 14th October 2016
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BigMon said:
klmhcp said:
No way you'd know either though.
I'm 43 and have never, ever wanted kids. I'm quite happy to not have them and have come to the conclusion that if I have never felt the desire to have them by 43 then I will never have that desire.

Sorry if that doesn't fit into your world view. Some of us feel like that.
I think his reply will be something along the lines of "until you have them, you will never know". Well, I've never been crowned with a spike right through my head and I'm as sure as I can be, without experiencing it, that it would be a negative experience.

TheLordJohn

5,746 posts

145 months

Friday 14th October 2016
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singlecoil said:
I think his reply will be something along the lines of "until you have them, you will never know". Well, I've never been crowned with a spike right through my head and I'm as sure as I can be, without experiencing it, that it would be a negative experience.
No, IDIOT. You don't understand, you've never had a spike through the head.
I have, and I can tell you, despite the constant earache, it's actually got its rather pleasant moments!

  • Edit* - it's exactly the same as Owen Jones when he tried to take ownership over the gay nightclub shooting earlier on in the year.
"No, you don't understand. You can't feel sympathy or sorrow, because you aren't gay!".
<Get's up and storms off in a huff>

escargot

17,110 posts

216 months

Saturday 15th October 2016
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Phew, just checked this thread and singlecoil and his boyfriends are still arguing. For a moment there I thought it might actually get back on topic.

AndStilliRise

2,295 posts

115 months

Monday 17th October 2016
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escargot said:
Phew, just checked this thread and singlecoil and his boyfriends are still arguing. For a moment there I thought it might actually get back on topic.
lol.

RobinOakapple

2,802 posts

111 months

Monday 17th October 2016
quotequote all
escargot said:
Phew, just checked this thread and singlecoil and his boyfriends are still arguing. For a moment there I thought it might actually get back on topic.
And posts like that are just the way to do it rolleyes

Ari

19,328 posts

214 months

Monday 24th October 2016
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Tonker, just wondered - any progress?

Ari

19,328 posts

214 months

Monday 24th October 2016
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fk.

Sorry mate.

randlemarcus

13,507 posts

230 months

Tuesday 25th October 2016
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Time to play dirty then. I'm sure that there's a site somewhere to help her value her shoes and handbags wink

TheLordJohn

5,746 posts

145 months

Tuesday 25th October 2016
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Hope you don't mind, but she sounds like a !
Good luck with everything. I didn't know they made them so vindictive.

klmhcp

247 posts

91 months

Tuesday 25th October 2016
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That sounds ridiculous and terribly sad.
Why is she dealing with the sale, is that normal in things like this?

Slagathore

5,808 posts

191 months

Tuesday 25th October 2016
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
What is the end game for you? I'm sure you've had advice from a specialist divorce lawyer?

It sounds like an impossible situation, and, to be honest, she sounds mentally unstable, and I wouldn't want her being left alone to raise my child.

If it were me, I'd be keeping a diary of the crazy behaviour to show a judge, and so that when you go to court and she no doubt plays the victim, you have proof that she's been scheming and acting unreasonable all along.

What can you do in this situation to try and limit your loss etc? For instance, you mentioned her wanting the house, but surely a judge isn't going to agree that she needs a big expensive house for just her and the kid if she got custody? Can the courts force a sale of the house?

It's really mind boggling that someone can act like this, especially with a child involved.

Does she even want custody of the kid?

westberks

925 posts

134 months

Tuesday 25th October 2016
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
fking hell mate, makes mine seem perfectly normal (she isn't!)

Good luck with the ongoing battle.