Divorcing empty nesters...
Discussion
Tonker - crap situation for you. I was in a similar situation and decided to remove anything I really valued from the house and stored them elsewhere (some even in the boot of my car for a few months). You can still live in the house without these things 'to hand' for a bit. Especially important paperwork and family heirlooms. I assume you have spare keys for all the door locks in the house too?
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Sounds like she's planning the settlement around never having to work again!!Bonkers. Best of luck with it!
I was gunna say with a bit of luck, but it really shouldn't be down to luck - with a bit of common sense, a judge will hopefully see through all the nonsense and a reasonable outcome will be achieved.
These threads never fail to make me speechless. How the hell can anyone go in front of a court and try to suggest they NEED 200k PA to "survive".
Even if a judge told me i had to pay 30k PA for the foreseeable then my life wouldn't be worth continuing with.
Even if a judge told me i had to pay 30k PA for the foreseeable then my life wouldn't be worth continuing with.
Edited by BuzzBravado on Tuesday 25th October 15:07
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Short ones. On the bright side, its currently a marital asset, as is any money needed to make it good. SO you are only paying half.You know the game, you've been the deeply cynical one on here for a long time, so log it, and get on with being a good Dad, as your old job of Good Husband has been made redundant.
Things like trains etc remarkably work in your favour, as the value is now SFA, being damaged toys. Silver linings everywhere if you know where to look.
I think I would have moved any of my personal prized possessions out to a safe store by now.......
Sorry to hear your sorry tale. I've had a similar situation with the massive buying, hoarding etc - it's usually generated by a form of depression, or low esteem (but I'm sure you know that already).
Important that you keep positive (or as much as is humanely possible) - keep us all in the picture if you want a bit of moral support.
Sorry to hear your sorry tale. I've had a similar situation with the massive buying, hoarding etc - it's usually generated by a form of depression, or low esteem (but I'm sure you know that already).
Important that you keep positive (or as much as is humanely possible) - keep us all in the picture if you want a bit of moral support.
TBH, I had this with the wife doing the mental with me. Kept saying she wanted a divorce but then would not do anything to support her cause. I.e. I think she wanted me to divorce her rather than her divorce me (It is a small point, but large IYSWIM).
It got to the point were we would not talk to each other in days and weeks, different rooms and generally avoiding each other as we knew if would just wind each other up.
In the end i decided to play the waiting game, knowing that i am powerfully built company director who has multiple cars (Jazz, E39 M5), multiple properties (2 * tents) and multiple women falling to their knees for me. I had more options than her and the person with the most options in the relationship is the one who is in control.
After talking to just about anyone and everyone she could find, non of whom supporting her cause that she was the victim and that i was so bad to her that she just couldn't cope, decided that her best option for future success was with me and so then therefore calmed the f
k down.
Now although we don't really talk about that period in our lives have subsequently moved on from there. What really helped was that i was diagnosed with Asperger's. This helped her understand some of things she complained about i.e. Focused on work, family, career, running, biking.
Not sure if this will help, from your messages it does seem that you are both looking towards the exit door. For us, it was that whilst we were both unhappy with each other we understood the value of each other in our children's lives.
regards, AndStilliRise.
It got to the point were we would not talk to each other in days and weeks, different rooms and generally avoiding each other as we knew if would just wind each other up.
In the end i decided to play the waiting game, knowing that i am powerfully built company director who has multiple cars (Jazz, E39 M5), multiple properties (2 * tents) and multiple women falling to their knees for me. I had more options than her and the person with the most options in the relationship is the one who is in control.
After talking to just about anyone and everyone she could find, non of whom supporting her cause that she was the victim and that i was so bad to her that she just couldn't cope, decided that her best option for future success was with me and so then therefore calmed the f
k down. Now although we don't really talk about that period in our lives have subsequently moved on from there. What really helped was that i was diagnosed with Asperger's. This helped her understand some of things she complained about i.e. Focused on work, family, career, running, biking.
Not sure if this will help, from your messages it does seem that you are both looking towards the exit door. For us, it was that whilst we were both unhappy with each other we understood the value of each other in our children's lives.
regards, AndStilliRise.
Sounds like a horrific situation to be in but you seem to be coping remarkably well considering 
steveatesh said:
I believe the manipulation it has its history in Courtly Love dating back to the 1100's and the concept of chivalry.
https://gynocentrism.com
I read that first time as "has its history in Courtney Love" and got very, very confused...https://gynocentrism.com
You can log, value and provide infinite amounts of detail to the courts as you slog your way through the process.
Then at the final hearing the judge won't even look at it, and if she is claiming to be main carer of your child they will give her everything she asks for, 70/30 in my case.
Its how the system works, I tried to fight it, I failed.
The courts do not recognise the rights of fathers/husbands, I thought the fathers for justice guys were just nutty extremists, I now realise they were simply men pushed to the very limits.
18 months later my 12 year old adopted daughter is now having a care order taken out by social services this Thursday at my ex wifes request, and being put in what we used to call basically a borstal against my wishes, even though two months ago she told a judge that was not going to happen when I tried to get custody of my daughter and failed.
At the final hearing in a signed statement, sworn under oath she stipulated she would never seek to put her into care, after I told the judge that was exactly her plan.
Everything I predicted has come true so do I go back to court yet again (cost me £3.5k last time) no as there is no point, the judge will just say its too late now and I get hit for another £3.5k bill!
She is now free to swan off into the sunset with the money she was given by the courts to home my daughter until adulthood, which she has failed to honour, and does not have to give a penny back.
Then at the final hearing the judge won't even look at it, and if she is claiming to be main carer of your child they will give her everything she asks for, 70/30 in my case.
Its how the system works, I tried to fight it, I failed.
The courts do not recognise the rights of fathers/husbands, I thought the fathers for justice guys were just nutty extremists, I now realise they were simply men pushed to the very limits.
18 months later my 12 year old adopted daughter is now having a care order taken out by social services this Thursday at my ex wifes request, and being put in what we used to call basically a borstal against my wishes, even though two months ago she told a judge that was not going to happen when I tried to get custody of my daughter and failed.
At the final hearing in a signed statement, sworn under oath she stipulated she would never seek to put her into care, after I told the judge that was exactly her plan.
Everything I predicted has come true so do I go back to court yet again (cost me £3.5k last time) no as there is no point, the judge will just say its too late now and I get hit for another £3.5k bill!
She is now free to swan off into the sunset with the money she was given by the courts to home my daughter until adulthood, which she has failed to honour, and does not have to give a penny back.
Edited by PAUL500 on Wednesday 26th October 00:25
For any guys reading this who are thinking of getting married do not think this won't happen to you, do not think your perfect little snow flake is different because she loves you. The reality is once they are bored and fancy getting back on the carousel they will convince themselves it is all your fault and that they deserve to keep everything and make you suffer as much as possible.
Strangely enough I have had a message from my ex wife telling me that her current wallet has proposed and she said yes. He only divorced his wife a year or two ago, personally I think he is nuts but good luck to him, she is totally his problem now he is taking her over 100%!
Second marriages have a 67% chance of failure so once he is paying for two ex wives he is never going to be able to retire while my ex wife gets double bubble!
Remember women don't marry for money they divorce for it.
Strangely enough I have had a message from my ex wife telling me that her current wallet has proposed and she said yes. He only divorced his wife a year or two ago, personally I think he is nuts but good luck to him, she is totally his problem now he is taking her over 100%!
Second marriages have a 67% chance of failure so once he is paying for two ex wives he is never going to be able to retire while my ex wife gets double bubble!
Remember women don't marry for money they divorce for it.
Joey Deacon said:
For any guys reading this who are thinking of getting married do not think this won't happen to you, do not think your perfect little snow flake is different because she loves you. The reality is once they are bored and fancy getting back on the carousel they will convince themselves it is all your fault and that they deserve to keep everything and make you suffer as much as possible.
Strangely enough I have had a message from my ex wife telling me that her current wallet has proposed and she said yes. He only divorced his wife a year or two ago, personally I think he is nuts but good luck to him, she is totally his problem now he is taking her over 100%!
Second marriages have a 67% chance of failure so once he is paying for two ex wives he is never going to be able to retire while my ex wife gets double bubble!
Remember women don't marry for money they divorce for it.
Sad manStrangely enough I have had a message from my ex wife telling me that her current wallet has proposed and she said yes. He only divorced his wife a year or two ago, personally I think he is nuts but good luck to him, she is totally his problem now he is taking her over 100%!
Second marriages have a 67% chance of failure so once he is paying for two ex wives he is never going to be able to retire while my ex wife gets double bubble!
Remember women don't marry for money they divorce for it.
Joey Deacon said:
For any guys reading this who are thinking of getting married do not think this won't happen to you, do not think your perfect little snow flake is different because she loves you. The reality is once they are bored and fancy getting back on the carousel they will convince themselves it is all your fault and that they deserve to keep everything and make you suffer as much as possible.
Strangely enough I have had a message from my ex wife telling me that her current wallet has proposed and she said yes. He only divorced his wife a year or two ago, personally I think he is nuts but good luck to him, she is totally his problem now he is taking her over 100%!
Second marriages have a 67% chance of failure so once he is paying for two ex wives he is never going to be able to retire while my ex wife gets double bubble!
Remember women don't marry for money they divorce for it.
Look, I really do have every sympathy for men (and women) who get taken to the cleaners by former partners, but really, truly, MOST women are not like that. They just aren't. Strangely enough I have had a message from my ex wife telling me that her current wallet has proposed and she said yes. He only divorced his wife a year or two ago, personally I think he is nuts but good luck to him, she is totally his problem now he is taking her over 100%!
Second marriages have a 67% chance of failure so once he is paying for two ex wives he is never going to be able to retire while my ex wife gets double bubble!
Remember women don't marry for money they divorce for it.
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