Divorcing empty nesters...
Discussion
_Exocet_ said:
That's terrible. It probably wouldn't help the situation but I'd be inclined to take the car away for a few weeks for the bumper to be 'repaired' so she can be brought into the real world and see that there are consequences for acting like a child.
Me too, but then that's because I'm one of those evil b
hes 
HTP99 said:
Little things like he will get home from work and find out that they have all got a takeaway, but not one for him, his wife hasn't even told him they are getting one in, he will cook dinner and dish it all up, he'll finish up in the kitchen but they won't wait and he'll come to sit down and they have almost finished....
He is a bit of a doormat though, does all of the cooking, cleaning, washing, kids lunches, drops and collects them from clubs/friends etc, food shopping etc, all whilst working full time and some weekends, his wife is a teacher so has the weekends and holidays free to do stuff but she does nothing.
You see, this kind of thing happens both ways. I am the wife and get the same kind of deal. It's pretty sHe is a bit of a doormat though, does all of the cooking, cleaning, washing, kids lunches, drops and collects them from clubs/friends etc, food shopping etc, all whilst working full time and some weekends, his wife is a teacher so has the weekends and holidays free to do stuff but she does nothing.
t. oldbanger said:
You see, this kind of thing happens both ways. I am the wife and get the same kind of deal. It's pretty st.
I don't want to appear rude but why do you put up with it ? - it's a genuine question and I appreciate that many women put up with a 'poor' home life, usually for a wide variety of understandable reasons.t. Robertj21a said:
oldbanger said:
You see, this kind of thing happens both ways. I am the wife and get the same kind of deal. It's pretty st.
I don't want to appear rude but why do you put up with it ? - it's a genuine question and I appreciate that many women put up with a 'poor' home life, usually for a wide variety of understandable reasons.t. To add: a combination of him working away for periods, chronic illness, a coupling of fixer vs passive personality styles and the need to maintain a united front through a variety of family crises meant me picking up more and more slack. I am working toward a more equitable situation, but we'll see.
The food situation, being cut out of family mealtimes, always with the most plausible of reasons, really starts to cut to the quick once it's the established pattern.
Edited by oldbanger on Sunday 7th August 22:01
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Sorry to read this tonker. Are you sure she's not going through the change? This behaviour seems so irrational. My first husband became extremely irritable and was diagnosed with diabetes after we divorced. He was much nicer once it was under control (though the divorce was the best decision I made, despite the considerable cost) In the run up to our split he did things like burn holes in my living room carpet with a welding torch. I had already moved out and was renting a bedsit near work.oldbanger said:
Sorry to read this tonker. Are you sure she's not going through the change? This behaviour seems so irrational. My first husband became extremely irritable and was diagnosed with diabetes after we divorced. He was much nicer once it was under control (though the divorce was the best decision I made, despite the considerable cost) In the run up to our split he did things like burn holes in my living room carpet with a welding torch. I had already moved out and was renting a bedsit near work.
No no, you feigned domestic abuse and retained the family home leaving him wronged and penniless - ask anyone on Pistonheads! oldbanger said:
It's not a situation you consciously choose, that's for sure. I think often these situations evolve over time, so they creep up on you.
To add: a combination of him working away for periods, chronic illness, a coupling of fixer vs passive personality styles and the need to maintain a united front through a variety of family crises meant me picking up more and more slack. I am working toward a more equitable situation, but we'll see.
The food situation, being cut out of family mealtimes, always with the most plausible of reasons, really starts to cut to the quick once it's the established pattern.
Thanks for adding that bit, it's always much easier to understand when someone explains their own personal situation. I feel very sorry for you and just hope that you have a plan that improves your own life before too long.To add: a combination of him working away for periods, chronic illness, a coupling of fixer vs passive personality styles and the need to maintain a united front through a variety of family crises meant me picking up more and more slack. I am working toward a more equitable situation, but we'll see.
The food situation, being cut out of family mealtimes, always with the most plausible of reasons, really starts to cut to the quick once it's the established pattern.
Edited by oldbanger on Sunday 7th August 22:01
Paddy_N_Murphy said:
two entirely different worlds IMHO
Agreed, in my case it was simple carelessness and a complete lack of respect (i asked her time and time again not to do this), doing the hygiene product thing in a house for sale sounds like a deliberate attempt to sabotage the sale.EDIT: come to think of it, the ex also used to collect the FHP stuff in a big pile in the corner of the bathroom, albeit balled up/taped closed.. brrrr s
t makes me shudder thinking of it..oldbanger said:
In the run up to our split he did things like burn holes in my living room carpet with a welding torch.
My wife just asked if he did that on purpose?I laughed at first, but re-reading it I'm not sure - my FIL would probably think welding in the living room was OK!
Edited by Sheepshanks on Monday 8th August 10:15
Robertj21a said:
The female of the species needs to reproduce - she needs a man to satisfy that need. Once she has had some children to nurture, paid for (usually) by the man, then there's little reason for her to stay in that relationship.
Then she'll go find herself a man whos interesting, looks after himself, doesn't work to much & is attentive to her needs. Seems fair to me..Women need 2 men these days, 1 to father her kids and provide financially and a second to spend her time with and make her laugh.
Which one would you rather be?
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