Divorcing empty nesters...
Discussion
DuncanM said:
It's a very sensible post and I agree with it; however the typical unfairness of the financial side of things is what will make most people bitter.
Not many handshake, and split things 50/50 divorces I imagine.
Why do people automatically assume divorces are always settled in greater favour of the woman? And in any case, if a woman gives up her chance to have a career to instead bring up children, surely this is worthy of financial recognition? When a 40-50 something woman with nothing of note to put on a CV is suddenly thrust into the job market it would seem very unfair that that person has to start from the very beginning if they've contributed to family life over many years.Not many handshake, and split things 50/50 divorces I imagine.
janesmith1950 said:
DuncanM said:
It's a very sensible post and I agree with it; however the typical unfairness of the financial side of things is what will make most people bitter.
Not many handshake, and split things 50/50 divorces I imagine.
Why do people automatically assume divorces are always settled in greater favour of the woman? And in any case, if a woman gives up her chance to have a career to instead bring up children, surely this is worthy of financial recognition? When a 40-50 something woman with nothing of note to put on a CV is suddenly thrust into the job market it would seem very unfair that that person has to start from the very beginning if they've contributed to family life over many years.Not many handshake, and split things 50/50 divorces I imagine.
janesmith1950 said:
DuncanM said:
It's a very sensible post and I agree with it; however the typical unfairness of the financial side of things is what will make most people bitter.
Not many handshake, and split things 50/50 divorces I imagine.
Why do people automatically assume divorces are always settled in greater favour of the woman? And in any case, if a woman gives up her chance to have a career to instead bring up children, surely this is worthy of financial recognition? When a 40-50 something woman with nothing of note to put on a CV is suddenly thrust into the job market it would seem very unfair that that person has to start from the very beginning if they've contributed to family life over many years.Not many handshake, and split things 50/50 divorces I imagine.
dont get hung up on it offer her half and move on i have.
it's not her fault she slept with
1) my best friend
2) her best (male) friend
3) her best (females) friends husband and his GF at the same time
4) and others
just give them half move on it is not their fault!!
because it is worth it to get rid of them!!
DuncanM said:
I didn't mention gender, and I think oldbanger's posts shows quite clearly that it's not a gender issue.
Although I'm sure there are many more men than women on this particular forum, I think we'd all agree that both genders can be equally badly affected. Some men act badly and leave women with a lot of hurt and problems - and some women act badly and leave men with a lot of hurt and problems. It would be a brave man/woman who would claim that, on balance, either gender is the more likely to cause the problems in the first place.SplatSpeed said:
it goes 50% 50% as there are no fault divorces these days.
dont get hung up on it offer her half and move on i have.
it's not her fault she slept with
1) my best friend
2) her best (male) friend
3) her best (females) friends husband and his GF at the same time
4) and others
just give them half move on it is not their fault!!
because it is worth it to get rid of them!!
Freaking hell!dont get hung up on it offer her half and move on i have.
it's not her fault she slept with
1) my best friend
2) her best (male) friend
3) her best (females) friends husband and his GF at the same time
4) and others
just give them half move on it is not their fault!!
because it is worth it to get rid of them!!
I can't be the only one reading this thread and considering themselves very lucky (so far I guess!)
DuncanM said:
SplatSpeed said:
it goes 50% 50% as there are no fault divorces these days.
dont get hung up on it offer her half and move on i have.
it's not her fault she slept with
1) my best friend
2) her best (male) friend
3) her best (females) friends husband and his GF at the same time
4) and others
just give them half move on it is not their fault!!
because it is worth it to get rid of them!!
Freaking hell!dont get hung up on it offer her half and move on i have.
it's not her fault she slept with
1) my best friend
2) her best (male) friend
3) her best (females) friends husband and his GF at the same time
4) and others
just give them half move on it is not their fault!!
because it is worth it to get rid of them!!
I can't be the only one reading this thread and considering themselves very lucky (so far I guess!)
only just got contact with my daughter after 10 months, because of her lies.
the real kicker of her sending me pics of her having sex with that woman is not grounds for divorce as lesbian affairs dont count!!!
i had to leave Canada and start again in the UK.
ah the joys of marrying someone with BPD
SplatSpeed said:
janesmith1950 said:
DuncanM said:
It's a very sensible post and I agree with it; however the typical unfairness of the financial side of things is what will make most people bitter.
Not many handshake, and split things 50/50 divorces I imagine.
Why do people automatically assume divorces are always settled in greater favour of the woman? And in any case, if a woman gives up her chance to have a career to instead bring up children, surely this is worthy of financial recognition? When a 40-50 something woman with nothing of note to put on a CV is suddenly thrust into the job market it would seem very unfair that that person has to start from the very beginning if they've contributed to family life over many years.Not many handshake, and split things 50/50 divorces I imagine.
dont get hung up on it offer her half and move on i have.
it's not her fault she slept with
1) my best friend
2) her best (male) friend
3) her best (females) friends husband and his GF at the same time
4) and others
just give them half move on it is not their fault!!
because it is worth it to get rid of them!!
Because if it goes to court her lawyer who is getting paid by the hour may have it in their own interests to suggest that she go for more than 50%, which is where things get nasty. Her friends will also then tell her she deserves more backing up what the lawyer has said.
Also women can have affairs and it's fine because they were lonely, depressed, neglected, suffering from some syndrome or other, but if a man does it your fecked from day one, because men who have affairs are evil, the whole divorce deck will be stacked agaisnt you, so best to offload the strife before embarking on new career of dating. That way things might end amicably. This may seem unfair and hypoctritical but it's life.
It will also make the go for >50% path much more attactive as getting more than 50% = revenge. Again this will be cheered on by her friends.
janesmith1950 said:
Why do people automatically assume divorces are always settled in greater favour of the woman? And in any case, if a woman gives up her chance to have a career to instead bring up children, surely this is worthy of financial recognition? When a 40-50 something woman with nothing of note to put on a CV is suddenly thrust into the job market it would seem very unfair that that person has to start from the very beginning if they've contributed to family life over many years.
There are a considerable number of ladies who have been required by social norm or by controlling partners that they should give up their career and raise children.There are those who are perfectly happy with the agreement that they should stay at home and raise the children.
Both of the above should and quite rightly do claim continuing support.
BUT do not forget that for every dick swinging b
d of a husband there is also a conniving cow who has worked out that she can have the children she wants, not have to work whilst bringing them up and that as soon as they are grown up she can likely claim enough maintenance and equity out of the divorce that all she needs is a few hours a week on the tills to pay for the extra holiday or two and all will be laid on for her.Even worse are those that bail halfway through a child growing up, secure PR and the payments that go with that, yet spend the child money on themselves - which i have seen a number of examples of.
There are good and bad in every race and gender, to think that it is inequitably distributed within those sub sets is to be ignorant and discriminatory. The bottom line is that this means that there are some fairly awful men and women out there and to pretend that there are none on either side who are willing to cross boundaries that others would baulk at is to be naive in the extreme.
Right now i can think of one lady who has had 4 serious relationships since she was 18. The first was a landscaper, the second a butcher, the third a solicitor, the fourth a builder turned developer. I know her well enough to know that each successive partner has been wealthier than the last and that that is not a coincidence, nor is the fact that each new chap was 'secured' before the last was fully out of the picture...
Vitorio said:
Zoobeef said:
After breaking up with my ex while I was away in January (easy split as we had our own houses) I'm now actively looking again but struggling to find anyone that isnt a dick.
After spending the weekend fitting a roll cage in my racecar and then reading this thread I do just wonder, why bother.
That is where i am right now, sure i sometimes i do miss having someone around at home to talk to, and not getting any isnt exactly ideal (although a relationship proved to be no guarantee for that either....), but every time i consider the possibility of dating or some such, i just think "fAfter spending the weekend fitting a roll cage in my racecar and then reading this thread I do just wonder, why bother.
k it, more trouble then its worth" and go back to obsessing over cars, computers and lego.this year ive spent too much time on tinder got loads of attention and could pick and choose, just date them, if they seem weird don't see them again.
Foliage said:
I was single 7 years
this year ive spent too much time on tinder got loads of attention and could pick and choose, just date them, if they seem weird don't see them again.
Whilst I agree that this would seem the perfect solution for many I would have to say, in a very non typical PHer fashion, that there is an awful lot you can (and should if it is the right one) get out of a relationship that just does not exist in that sort of lifestyle. this year ive spent too much time on tinder got loads of attention and could pick and choose, just date them, if they seem weird don't see them again.
Whilst I am no Adonis it would not find it hard to find someone to share my bed with me if i had to. To find someone to share my life with, and whose I wish to share in as well, that is a whole new ball game.
That one really hits home to you when your partner is driving you home from a minor operation and sympathising with your discomfort whilst sorting out things during your recuperation and you realise that without them you'd be in a taxi right now going home to an empty house with no one to bring you a fresh home made chicken broth when you feel like eating, let alone talk to.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
If you've jointly got so much money (and presumably commensurate income) that she's going to walk away from this a millionaire, is it not worth just dropping the price of the house by £100,000 so that it sells quickly (sanitary towels or no sanitary towels) and you can get the hell out?What price your mental health?
Ari said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
If you've jointly got so much money (and presumably commensurate income) that she's going to walk away from this a millionaire, is it not worth just dropping the price of the house by £100,000 so that it sells quickly (sanitary towels or no sanitary towels) and you can get the hell out?What price your mental health?
SplatSpeed said:
it gets worse, she alienated me from a small community by saying i left her for another woman i meet after we separated (she helped my move on by editing my profile on zoosk).
only just got contact with my daughter after 10 months, because of her lies.
the real kicker of her sending me pics of her having sex with that woman is not grounds for divorce as lesbian affairs dont count!!!
i had to leave Canada and start again in the UK.
ah the joys of marrying someone with BPD
fonly just got contact with my daughter after 10 months, because of her lies.
the real kicker of her sending me pics of her having sex with that woman is not grounds for divorce as lesbian affairs dont count!!!
i had to leave Canada and start again in the UK.
ah the joys of marrying someone with BPD
king hell mateAll of the b
ks and having to start over again in the UK are one thing, but the kid being involved must make it hell sometimes, best of luck!Vitorio said:
SplatSpeed said:
it gets worse, she alienated me from a small community by saying i left her for another woman i meet after we separated (she helped my move on by editing my profile on zoosk).
only just got contact with my daughter after 10 months, because of her lies.
the real kicker of her sending me pics of her having sex with that woman is not grounds for divorce as lesbian affairs dont count!!!
i had to leave Canada and start again in the UK.
ah the joys of marrying someone with BPD
fonly just got contact with my daughter after 10 months, because of her lies.
the real kicker of her sending me pics of her having sex with that woman is not grounds for divorce as lesbian affairs dont count!!!
i had to leave Canada and start again in the UK.
ah the joys of marrying someone with BPD
king hell mateAll of the b
ks and having to start over again in the UK are one thing, but the kid being involved must make it hell sometimes, best of luck!still she is back in my life now
Rude-boy said:
Right now i can think of one lady who has had 4 serious relationships since she was 18. The first was a landscaper, the second a butcher, the third a solicitor, the fourth a builder turned developer. I know her well enough to know that each successive partner has been wealthier than the last and that that is not a coincidence, nor is the fact that each new chap was 'secured' before the last was fully out of the picture...
Either there's a ready supply of needy men, or she's VERY adept at pressing the right buttons.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff