Having a Baby.... What do we NEED?

[Simes205]

Bottles.
Microwave steriliser.
Use Evian water, this doesn't need boiling.
Audio monitors are enough.

[2gins]

You might have need for a proper half-mask RPE for the nappy changing. No.1 didn't bother me a bit but our second, she retains the poo in her bowels fermenting for about a week then lets rip this torrent of hot, thick, smooth, green-yellow st-lava that stinks to hell and back, honestly makes me gag whenever its my turn to do the change. Even the fancy pants nappy bin can't keep the stench in.

[Sheepshanks]

RosscoPCole said:

All this technology makes me think how did past generations manage to bring up their children without it?

(Space for usual car seat and travelling in back of estate car in the olden days response)


I don't see any problem with taking advantage of available technology. I (grandparent) had a wireless IP camera and put it the baby's room in our house. Both our daughters said "no way" for their houses but both wanted one when they saw it in use.

You don't watch them, but it's dead handy for a quick check.

essayer said:

The video monitor is a bit handier when they are older and in the proper cot, you'll see them shuffling about not long before they wake up properly - giving you time to make bottle etc

I think it's good for judging when to go in - you don't want to be waking them up (unless time is pressing) on the other hand you don't want to wait until they start crying for you, otherwise they learn that's what they need to do.

Edited by Sheepshanks on Saturday 15th October 13:34

Edited by Sheepshanks on Saturday 15th October 13:34

[andy-xr]

Another addition, I dont remember if I mentioned it before. For your wife/girlfriend/partner - budget for a New You fund. After wearing leggings or possibly half of the Hot Milk website (if you havent checked that out or your wife, g/f/other hasnt it's worth a look) it'll help post partum to have some new stuff. My wife found she's a new/different person now she's a Mum. I dont mean st haircuts and dungarees, but while she's adjusting to a new size and things are a bit all over the place, half the stuff she wore at 7-9 months has gone on eBay, half the maternity wear she had doesnt fit and all her old clothes are just sat in a suitcase in the loft

I dont mean retail therapy and hit the shops spending like crazy, I just mean as there's a transition she's going to need some new stuff

And Malbec

[Hugo a Gogo]

I don't think it's possible to overstate how much better breast feeding is, for the baby, and for practicality

[andy-xr]

Hugo a Gogo said:

I don't think it's possible to overstate how much better breast feeding is, for the baby, and for practicality

I think that's bks.

Many Mums find breastfeeding hard, all the Mums I know have tried and failed. The midwives push breast is best and shame you if you choose not to breast feed. There's literally zero help if you say you're not breastfeeding, just a load of questions about why you're not and you're left to it when you protest.

The Breastapo, as our Health Visitor called them

As new parents, the NHS doesnt offer you any help with bottle feeding, the best times to do it, the quantities, how to wind the baby, how to make sure everything sterile. You end up on forums and groups, or reading books. In itself, not the end of the world, but you'd have hoped that the NHS would be there to help you with what you want to do with your baby.

If midwives stopped the shaming, I'd be willing to bet there'd be less post natal depression. It's not nice as a bloke to sit in bed fairly helpless while your baby's screaming every 20 minutes for food, wont latch on and your wife's been trying to feed for 8 hours without a break and it's 3,30am. A trip to Sainsburys and a big box of Aptamil sorts that out fairly quickly

I'm not saying that breast isnt best, it's what works best for you though

[ReallyReallyGood]

Totally agree with you andy, very similar experience as us.

[jamiem555]

andy-xr said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

I don't think it's possible to overstate how much better breast feeding is, for the baby, and for practicality

I think that's bks.

Many Mums find breastfeeding hard, all the Mums I know have tried and failed. The midwives push breast is best and shame you if you choose not to breast feed. There's literally zero help if you say you're not breastfeeding, just a load of questions about why you're not and you're left to it when you protest.

The Breastapo, as our Health Visitor called them

As new parents, the NHS doesnt offer you any help with bottle feeding, the best times to do it, the quantities, how to wind the baby, how to make sure everything sterile. You end up on forums and groups, or reading books. In itself, not the end of the world, but you'd have hoped that the NHS would be there to help you with what you want to do with your baby.

If midwives stopped the shaming, I'd be willing to bet there'd be less post natal depression. It's not nice as a bloke to sit in bed fairly helpless while your baby's screaming every 20 minutes for food, wont latch on and your wife's been trying to feed for 8 hours without a break and it's 3,30am. A trip to Sainsburys and a big box of Aptamil sorts that out fairly quickly

I'm not saying that breast isnt best, it's what works best for you though

So true. As a helpless partner, you're emotionally blackmailed into convincing you're wife to do it. Even with premature and quite clearly underdeveloped twins. As soon as the bottle was out we were home the next day.

[Hugo a Gogo]

andy-xr said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

I don't think it's possible to overstate how much better breast feeding is, for the baby, and for practicality

I think that's bks.

nice attitude

do some reading, tons of evidence of all the downright miraculous stuff that breastmilk does, custom-designed antibodies for the changing health of the baby (feedback into the mother's breast from baby's saliva!), constantly changing,
omega 3 fats, bacterial fauna, it's absolutely amazing

and your own examples, how, when, how much, sterilising, all that is gone with on-demand feeding

[jamiem555]

I don't disagree, breast is best but I do object to the pressure put upon new parents. In our case, production wasn't a problem. We had enough to last the first 6 weeks of their lives.

[Hugo a Gogo]

it's literally a once-in-a-lifetime chance, to give up in the first days because it's hard is a terrible lost opportunity for the child and the mother

[IanCress]

My wife found breast feeding difficult and the baby just wasn't getting enough to keep her going. For around a month she did a mix of breast and bottle but after that it became bottle only.

It works for some people but for plenty of others it doesn't, and we're glad to have the bottle as an alternative.

We now have a fit and healthy 5 month old and we don't feel like she has missed out on anything due to dropping the breast feeding after 4 weeks.

[andy-xr]

Hugo a Gogo said:

it's literally a once-in-a-lifetime chance, to give up in the first days because it's hard is a terrible lost opportunity for the child and the mother

It's a choice that the parents make and shouldnt be shamed for, whichever way they go.

I've read about the benefits, how it's good for my wife's uterus, the benefits to our baby, the overall connection between mother and baby. All that goes out the window when both of them are sat there crying and your new to the world baby is starving and wont feed.

You're basically talking st and justifying it with bks

What works for us is my wife expressing a few feeds and mixing it with formula. Others might take to latching. Others might want to just feed using formula. There's no wrong and people shouldnt be shamed for their choices

[lufbramatt]

andy-xr said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

I don't think it's possible to overstate how much better breast feeding is, for the baby, and for practicality

I think that's bks.

Many Mums find breastfeeding hard, all the Mums I know have tried and failed. The midwives push breast is best and shame you if you choose not to breast feed. There's literally zero help if you say you're not breastfeeding, just a load of questions about why you're not and you're left to it when you protest.

The Breastapo, as our Health Visitor called them

As new parents, the NHS doesnt offer you any help with bottle feeding, the best times to do it, the quantities, how to wind the baby, how to make sure everything sterile. You end up on forums and groups, or reading books. In itself, not the end of the world, but you'd have hoped that the NHS would be there to help you with what you want to do with your baby.

If midwives stopped the shaming, I'd be willing to bet there'd be less post natal depression. It's not nice as a bloke to sit in bed fairly helpless while your baby's screaming every 20 minutes for food, wont latch on and your wife's been trying to feed for 8 hours without a break and it's 3,30am. A trip to Sainsburys and a big box of Aptamil sorts that out fairly quickly

I'm not saying that breast isnt best, it's what works best for you though

Agreed, my wife struggled for 3 months to breastfeed, turns out laddo had an undiagnosed tongue tie and couldn't latch on properly. She got depressed, I got depressed, all the support groups just said "keep going, formula is the semen of the devil" which made it ten times worse. Obviously breast is best but there's a limit before alternatives need to be considered, for everyone's health and sanity. By the time the tongue tie was noticed there was a 50/50 chance of the corrective op not working properly so we decided not to put him through it.

Never got the deal with the prep machines, my son always had it cold out the fridge.

[essayer]

andy-xr said:

All that goes out the window when both of them are sat there crying and your new to the world baby is starving

Absolutely, the NHS is happy to constantly push breastfeeding, but in those first busy hours after birth, offers very little help in actually breastfeeding, other than pushing the line 'every woman can breastfeed'.
The mantra that woman who can't or won't breastfeed are somehow failures is extremely emotionally damaging

[RosscoPCole]

essayer said:

andy-xr said:

All that goes out the window when both of them are sat there crying and your new to the world baby is starving

Absolutely, the NHS is happy to constantly push breastfeeding, but in those first busy hours after birth, offers very little help in actually breastfeeding, other than pushing the line 'every woman can breastfeed'.
The mantra that woman who can't or won't breastfeed are somehow failures is extremely emotionally damaging

I remember this when our second was born. I had a very tearful phone call at 11.30pm asking me to go buy formula milk as the hospital staff were useless at actually giving any practical help with breast feeding.
My seven year old daughter was not impressed when I woke her up so we could rush to Tesco buy bottles and formula, then go to the maternity hospital and deliver it. They also had very primitive facilities for sterilisation and the preparation of bottles.

[Hugo a Gogo]

IanCress said:

We now have a fit and healthy 5 month old and we don't feel like she has missed out on anything due to dropping the breast feeding after 4 weeks.

Without wishing to be hurtful,you'll never know if she's missed out really.

[Hugo a Gogo]

andy-xr said:

It's a choice that the parents make and shouldnt be shamed for, whichever way they go.

I've read about the benefits, how it's good for my wife's uterus, the benefits to our baby, the overall connection between mother and baby. All that goes out the window when both of them are sat there crying and your new to the world baby is starving and wont feed.

You're basically talking st and justifying it with bks

What works for us is my wife expressing a few feeds and mixing it with formula. Others might take to latching. Others might want to just feed using formula. There's no wrong and people shouldnt be shamed for their choices

I'm restraining myself from simply telling you go fk yourself, you prick

I'm not shaming anybody or forcing anybody, but your complaining about the universal healthy advice from medical professionals fits your definition there in bold.

Still, there's no wrong and i shouldn't be shamed for my choice to feed my kids exclusively on greggs pasties

[andy-xr]

Hugo a Gogo said:

I'm restraining myself from simply telling you go fk yourself, you prick

I'm not shaming anybody or forcing anybody, but your complaining about the universal healthy advice from medical professionals fits your definition there in bold.

Still, there's no wrong and i shouldn't be shamed for my choice to feed my kids exclusively on greggs pasties

I can only assume you've had midwife training majoring in gobste extremism

Everyone's said they tried it, it didn't work out, they moved on. Yet there you are telling people they don't know how they could have damaged their baby while crying victim.

It doesn't go down well that you're sat there with your wife and child hoping and praying between them they figure it out while you come up with backup plans in your head. I'm just not the sort of person who'd preach to my wife she should breastfeed and here's a list of benefits when she's in agony from bleeding nipples, hasn't slept for days and just wants to give the kid a percentage of something rather than 100% of nothing

[Simes205]

Hugo a Gogo said:

I don't think it's possible to overstate how much better breast feeding is, for the baby, and for practicality

Breastfeeding didn't work for us.
Once my daughter got on the bottle she slept through the night after 2 months.
My son went straight to bottle and although not such a good sleeper we haven't been suffering with feeding at very regular intervals through the night.